Interested in improving your relationships? Try Nonviolent Communication

Post by PycptN2MH » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:01 AM UTC

colordrops wrote: post #154

n42 wrote: post #7

I learned this at a company retreat at some point. We all kind of rolled our eyes and went along with the exercise. I now use it to great effect almost daily in both personal and professional relationships. It takes a little care and thought to apply it well. I've found when done effectively, it can unlock difficult conversations and turn even the most hostile interactions into productive conversations. You are demon…

Perhaps a better name would help, such as "Non-hostile communication". There is no such thing as violent communication, and the confusion between speech and violence is precisely what is driving the current pro-censorship wave.

Post by lostmsu » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:09 AM UTC

Post by diminoten » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:29 AM UTC

lxe wrote: post #147

> There is no hard data we know of that proves whether NVC actually improves relationships and resolves conflict Just like in “Crucial Conversations” this just tries to make empathy formulaic. Formulaic communication techniques come across as dishonest. A better advice is to be hyper aware of what the other party is trying to convey, whether they are using “violent” or nonviolent way of conveying it, and respond acco…

Post by quotemstr » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:38 AM UTC

rogerkirkness wrote: post #100

chroma wrote: post #86

Nonviolent communication comes up on HN every few months and it's always the same praises and criticisms. I've been on the receiving end of NVC quite a few times in my career, and every single time it comes off as patronizing bullshit. I'd rather people yell at me than couch everything in, "I feel X" or "Would you be willing to Y". When important things must be done well, do you think this sort of language is used? O…

I tend to agree with this. I struggle with non-violent communication. All the violence I've experienced in communication has been high social skill people passive aggressively using "appropriate channels" and "emotional intelligence" to harm me. I tend to prefer directness whether it's up or down the power ladder, and yet the trend is away from that overall. It's sort of minority rule too, where most people prefer di…

Post by bhy » Wed, Oct 16, 2019, 4:39 AM UTC

megous wrote: post #92

novok wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When you actually read the book, you find it has a very awkward way of speaking which can induce eyerolls.

Though if you just follow the reasons behind the four points in the article and implement them your way, it would be fine too, no? It's like with lots of these communication systems. (P.E.T. is similar, but more oriented at communicatuion with children) The authors have some specific examples of situations, and how they'd communicate, but it's all driven by some core principles and goals, and as long as you're also d…