Citations, not personal attacks.
For example, as to the claim it is the safest production car ever made, you could cite NHTSA finding the Tesla Model 3 had the best combined VSS (Vehicle Safety Score) ever tested. [1]
Regarding remote maintenance, the latest firmware does add the capability to notify the operator of an issue and pre-orders parts to your home service center. [2]
I can't speak to drive train specifically, although Tesla has stated they design and build to a 1,000,000 mile standard. Longevity and low maintenance cost is a huge factor for Tesla buyers. A Model S driven for Tesloop logged over 400,000 miles and ended up with just a $0.05/mile maintenance cost. [3]
Battery reliability is much higher than everyone expected, and owner surveys of older Model S batteries show 90%+ capacity after 160,000 miles. [4]
Efficiency is easy to demonstrate that Tesla is way ahead of the pack. In my Tesla Model 3 AWD with 19" rims I get ~220Wh/mile, and the RWD version with 18" rims is more efficient than that. The only more efficient EV I know of is the Ionic, which has a 28kWh battery and 3,100 lbs curb weight allows it to beat the Tesla Model 3 at 50kWh battery and 3,552 lbs by 4% in terms of mpge, but has 100 miles less range.
The Tesla Supercharger network is one of a kind. The V3 Supercharger update brings the fastest production charging in the world.
The software ecosystem, presumably meaning OTA updates, have brought innumerable software features, and even hardware performance upgrades (braking and acceleration) in the last several months. My son also really appreciates the new Atari games that keep coming out.
You can debate whether you think AutoPilot is the best driver assistance package available, but it is far from "blatantly false". AutoPilot takes me to work and back every day with very little manual input. It makes a heavy traffic commute totally stress free. I do look out the window while I have it engaged though, not watching a movie on my phone or tablet.
[1] - https://www.regulations.gov/contentStreamer?documentId=NHTSA...
[2] - https://electrek.co/2019/05/06/tesla-diagnose-pre-order-part...
[3] - https://www.tesloop.com/blog/2019/2/6/tesloops-high-mileage-...
[4] - https://cleantechnica.com/2018/04/16/tesla-batteries-have-90...