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Explaining Sex Rate Changes

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Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#161

Post by taxicabjesus »

novia wrote: post #144
taxicabjesus wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men and women are wired to go about relationships differently. One problem is that people don't come with clear instruction manuals to help us understand how the relationship game works. > I'm really tired of the incel narrative Men generally play a numbers game, where their romantic overtures get rejected most of the time. It doesn't help that a lot of the time their romantic overtures are annoying [1]. Supposed "in…

> Women have to screen candidates until they find someone they think is interesting. This is exactly the kind of harmful narrative I'm talking about. > Sociologists have determined that men peak sexually around 18 years old [3]. Women peak at a much later age (30's and 40's). Hopefully better understanding will help the stress you experience dissipate. The stress has absolutely NOTHING to do with that. BUT, since you…

thanks for the links, they are interesting.

> > Women have to screen candidates until they find someone they think is interesting.

> This is exactly the kind of harmful narrative I'm talking about.

There are more nuances than I allowed. Sorry. I will try to refine my presentation to make it less harmful and simplistic. The narrative is based on Ingo Swann's observations (as told in his book [0]), my own conversations with women, and my own experiences.

> BUT, since you brought it up, OkCupid had a pretty detailed analysis that showed much the opposite.

I think your link confirms what I said (perhaps less than gracefully) about how women figure out what kind of relationships they're interested in at a later age than men [edit: 'sex drive', as used by the other commenter, is the term I was looking for. Women's sex drive tends to peak at a later age than men's]. I have a friend (now 62) who told me about going to classes at a community college in her 30's, and how she was giddy about all the boys, but that she never acted on it...

[0] The original webpage for Psychic Sexuality: https://web.archive.org/web/20060214070448/http://www.biomin...

Swann's estate has republished the books: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/psychic-sexuality-the-bio-p... / https://ingoswann.com/author

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#162

Post by zone411 »

novia wrote: post #144
taxicabjesus wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men and women are wired to go about relationships differently. One problem is that people don't come with clear instruction manuals to help us understand how the relationship game works. > I'm really tired of the incel narrative Men generally play a numbers game, where their romantic overtures get rejected most of the time. It doesn't help that a lot of the time their romantic overtures are annoying [1]. Supposed "in…

> Women have to screen candidates until they find someone they think is interesting. This is exactly the kind of harmful narrative I'm talking about. > Sociologists have determined that men peak sexually around 18 years old [3]. Women peak at a much later age (30's and 40's). Hopefully better understanding will help the stress you experience dissipate. The stress has absolutely NOTHING to do with that. BUT, since you…

The data you cite is about the attractivness to the opposite sex, not about sex drive. I did a search but I haven't found any solid data.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#163

Post by skocznymroczny »

jamescostian wrote: post #127

Ask a heterosexual woman in that age range about how many awful conversations she's had with men in that age range via dating apps. She won't say "a few", she'll say "A LOT", and be able to show that the vast majority of messages she gets are either very dry or insanely forward (sexually). If you're a great-looking guy and you can't start or hold a good conversation, you can still get laid on the basis of looks. But…

On the other hand, there are multiple experiments with people creating a male profile with a photo of an attractive guy and sending explicitly sexual and vulgar messages as an introduction and still getting a lot of replies and phone numbers. At some point of attractiveness a guy can start the conversation with "I'd love to slide it in you" and the girl will reply with "hihi ok :) 123-456-789" rather than "leave me alone perv".

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#164

Post by zone411 »

kbar13 wrote: post #126
zone411 wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of course it's not but VR porn is a big step from video porn. There will be a percentage of men who will be satisfied by it just enough to wait longer (at 30+ it could become easier for them). Don't you think that this could lower the destabilizing effect?

Not even close. If anything it'll make things worse, as more immature kids will think this is great and feel less motivated.

How would that make the chances of destabilization higher? It seems you actually agree with me?

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#165

Post by anonytrary »

cousin_it wrote: post #148

Clearly caused by the same (unknown) thing that's been causing the double-digit decline in testosterone levels of Western men for the last few decades, regardless of job market or dating apps or whatever. So I'm leaning toward physiological explanation, not social.

I don't know either, but I would not make this guess, because cultural evolution tends to happen at a much faster pace than physiological (biological?) evolution. Physiology will not change much in 20 years, but culture could change drastically in the same timeframe.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#166

Post by [deleted] »

yason wrote: post #149
novia wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hacker News Guidelines What to Submit On-Topic: Anything that good hackers would find interesting. That includes more than hacking and startups. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity. Off-Topic: Most stories about politics, or crime, or sports, unless they're evidence of some interesting new phenomenon. Videos of pratfalls or disasters, or cut…

To me (and many others) this topic is political in nature and controversial. How so? It's not about political decisions one way or another but observing a new phenomenon on the market for sex and relationships. There are tons of scientific angles available for approaching the issue. Why is this happening? What has changed? What factors can contribute? Flagging comments such as "that's good, all sex should happen in a…

[deleted]

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#167

Post by arvinsim »

pm90 wrote: post #159
ianai wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you’re both onto something. There’s even a likely network effect where those men who sleep around are even more attractive to potential mates. Not as a rule, of course, but as a contributing factor. It’s a very destabilizing trend. Not only are these same men being economically disadvantaged, but they’re being socially isolated. Perfect way to increase violent tendencies, drug addition, and so on.

How would that change though. I agree its a problem, but I don't agree its not within the control of those who are not being matched to do something about it. Some arguments: * dating apps aren't the only way to meet people; you can still meet potential partners at parks/bars/work (Americans love office romances apparantly) * dating apps do favor the conventionally good looking folks but its also about presentation,…

As someone who is definitely on the "not ugly but also not attractive" demographic, I have ditched dating apps completely.

The focus on the visual to the exclusion of body language and personality chemistry just makes it a bad all around deal. From my experience, naturally meeting girls in the world is a much more pleasant experience.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#168

Post by jasonmp85 »

AstralStorm wrote: post #13
PutinIsMyGod wrote: post #12

I honestly believe the rise of incelibacy will lead to increasing destabilization of the US. There's nothing worse for a country than a bunch of lonely angry men without jobs and without sex.

Incelibacy is not a word and do not make it one. It's called involuntary celibacy.

That's also not a thing.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#169

Post by novia »

yason wrote: post #149
novia wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hacker News Guidelines What to Submit On-Topic: Anything that good hackers would find interesting. That includes more than hacking and startups. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity. Off-Topic: Most stories about politics, or crime, or sports, unless they're evidence of some interesting new phenomenon. Videos of pratfalls or disasters, or cut…

To me (and many others) this topic is political in nature and controversial. How so? It's not about political decisions one way or another but observing a new phenomenon on the market for sex and relationships. There are tons of scientific angles available for approaching the issue. Why is this happening? What has changed? What factors can contribute? Flagging comments such as "that's good, all sex should happen in a…

>> To me (and many others) this topic is political in nature and controversial.

> How so?

It's in the very next sentence.

But oh by the way, the author doesn't have a great track record on this issue.

https://slate.com/business/2018/05/robin-hanson-the-sex-redi...

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#170

Post by pm90 »

dwwmtat wrote: post #79
PutinIsMyGod wrote: post #12

I honestly believe the rise of incelibacy will lead to increasing destabilization of the US. There's nothing worse for a country than a bunch of lonely angry men without jobs and without sex.

When I was younger, I wanted sex all the time. But around the time I turned 29 or 30 I rapidly began to lose interest in sex. It was like someone turned off a switch. It doesn't seem normal - I should want sex more than I do. I'm healthy and my hormone levels are normal. Maybe I'm an outlier, but I wonder how many people aren't having sex because, for whatever reason, they're losing interest at a relatively young age…

Maybe you have better things to do? Even if you're single, if you're doing reasonably well career wise, this is usually the time that you start becoming more "mature", have a lot of work experience, your peers trust and depend on you etc.
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