I hear you and I agree with most of what you've written. That's why I said above that I agree with you but I still find the approach very idealistic and sometimes very difficult to accomplish.
> The notion of "alpha" among canines is so misunderstood by most people that it is kind of pointless to use it as a guiding principle in dog training.
I come from the place where stray dogs are a very common phenomenon, they almost always move in packs and the behavior of alpha dog can be at times very brutal towards the pack members, if they don't follow the lead. I once even had two dogs at the same time, both males and they would fight for leadership badly unless one of them established himself as a leader. So I wouldn't say that most peoples'approach is necessarily pointless.
> Perhaps we're just using different terminology here, but when people say "punishment", I assume they mean loudly yelling "no!" at the least and at the worst a rolled up newspaper, or rubbing their nose in poop, a shock or choke collar, or throwing them out of the house, or whatever.
all the examples of the punishments you've mentioned are very violent and brutal and are mostly observed by unexperienced caregivers or by people who are violent by nature. I frequently caught myself yelling, too, and it might be normal at some point, because you are a human and sometimes things happen and you say or do something in a way you didn't mean to. Important here is to realize it was too much and not to do this again. So you learn.
> I sometimes catch myself becoming frustrated and yelling...but, I have also observed that it does not achieve my goal with the dog, and I can see their confusion and discomfort.
The confusion comes into play when the dog is used to a distinct pattern of your behavior and you suddenly change it. If your dog has never seen you strict and you've been always gentle with him, of course he will be baffled, that's very natural.
Strictness is not bad by definition. If you can balance, and it is very important to do this, it is alright to be strict from time to time IMO. Raising a dog is the same for me as raising the kids, they are part of the family deeply loved and cared for. As I mentioned before, I'm not a violent person but I am strict because I have my limits.
> Nearly every dog owner I've ever known is doing it so wrong, and I wish I could fix all of their broken ideas because dogs deserve a good relationship with their people.
I hear you. i want to live in a better world, too and I hate seeing people mishandling animals. There are millions of people who are brutal to their own children and who are very sure in the rightness of their raising methods. That's very sad and unfair, but will stay the way it is unless the awareness will be raised. Only this way will all creatures have a chance to be treated fairly. So I thank you for your kind attitude very much.