Probably because helicopter parenting is in vogue (at least in the US). It is seriously messed up that you can have CPS called on you for letting your kid wander freely in the neighborhood
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Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
161–170 of 336 posts
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#162Probably because helicopter parenting is in vogue (at least in the US). It is seriously messed up that you can have CPS called on you for letting your kid wander freely in the neighborhood
You won’t have CPS called on you for letting your children wander and play in the neighbor. Please don’t spread nonsense. Edited with my response to everyone depositing articles about the Meitivs: Nobody “called CPS on” the Meitivs. Somebody called the polic because they saw the children wandering around a parking garage (not a park like in many of the news stories. See [1].) The police officer then called CPS severa…
Growing up I was allowed to roam the grounds of wherever we were freely unsupervised. As with many of us gen-Y'ers. In spending time with various women with kids I have noticed that parents nowadays are way more likely
a) hover over their children (in a playground for example) so as to be no more than 10-20 feet away from them at all times
b) eyeing any adults in the play area without a nearby child suspiciously
c) Occasionally chastising or otherwise harassing parents that don't do this, in the same way that nosy people chastise others over their actions.
Given the prevalence of stories and my own observations, I think you are wrong. I also think the quality of the institutions being talked about vary greatly depending on where you are. When I was in high school my friend had CPS called on her parents after a particularly nasty fight (her family was prone to loud fights) and it took them a couple weeks to convince CPS to get off their backs.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#163This is a bad thing. Children are being straight up stifled and their ability to develop independence being actively and aggressively destroyed. We will pay a very steep price for this.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#164Earlier quoted context omitted.
Per #2, families are much smaller on average now so even if they count that way, I don't think that would contribute much.
Related to families changing structure: what about step-parents?
Oh, relatedly, I wonder whether time in the care of non-parent adult relatives or friends-of-parents (i.e. not paid childcare or teachers) dropped substantially over the same time period.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#165How much time compared to 300 years ago?
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#166> One analysis of 11 rich countries estimates that the average mother spent 54 minutes a day caring for children in 1965 but 104 minutes in 2012. Men do less than women, but far more than men in the past: their child-caring time has jumped from 16 minutes a day to 59. I spend 100+ minutes every day changing diapers. Actually that's not true, most of my time is spent trying to put the stupid newborn to go to sleep. I…
I would also suggest finding a quiet, dark place near your house where you can go on a walk with your infant. As I walked around the neighborhood, she went from refershed by the air, to a bit annoyed that she wasn't able to move around much - I'm sure some neighbors heard protest crying - to dazed and then resigned to close the eyes. I got upwards of 10,000 steps every night just walking around with her, and learned a lot about myself from trying to get her to fall asleep -- pre-bedtime quiet activities, orange/dim lighting, 62-68 degrees and keeping a very dark bedroom. Also, having someone nearby can also help, possibly singing quietly or giving a gentle massage, which can lower cortisol levels. Breastfeeding has also helped us a lot, something as a father you can't do, but a warm bottle can help. Bouncing on yoga balls also worked for us (I went to a hotel's gym just for the ball once). It gets much better though, brave it out for the first year if you can! My 13-month old daughter now goes into the bed on her own when she gets tired and sleeps for long stretches on her own.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#167Earlier quoted context omitted.
I spent a lot of my teenage years playing videogames, but I was very rural, maybe theres a sweet village sized spot for it being safe enough to be outside, whilst also having people to be outside with.
I lived in a city (pop. 100k) and most preteens and older walked alone. You don't need a village, just safe roads (single lane, limited speeds) and parks spread throughout the city so that people (young and old) are around.
When was that.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#168Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've mentioned this before on here, but for me tossing the smart phone and getting a flip phone has utterly changed the dynamic with my children. It has been 3 months, and I am still amazed (although I guess I shouldn't be) that being actually present with them when we interact has seemed to reduce their neediness/anxiety and improved our relationship/bond. If you can, I recommend giving it a try.
I want to do this, but my one hangup is the lack of a decent camera. I know that I probably don’t need to document my kid’s life as much as I do, but I do like being able to share moments with my own parents, who live a ways away. How did you handle this aspect of the change? Do you carry a dslr or point and shoot, or do you just go without (or have flip phone cameras improved a ton since my last one)?
Maybe just commit to removing the most attention-grabbing apps from your phone? Seems like a good way to keep the aspects of your phone that you value while getting rid of the ones that you don't.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#169Earlier quoted context omitted.
I can't get my kids out of the house. I try. All of their friends are on SnapChat and/or Steam games. No one leaves their rooms. It is really depressing. Kids are not getting fresh air anymore.
Why did you give them continuous phone and steam access?
Because otherwise they will be loners. All of their friends are online. If you are offline, you are alone. I don't like this but in 2017 it is the reality for teens.
Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago
#170I spent a lot of time with my parents. Lots and lots of time splitting wood, tinkering on equipment, toiling in the garden, working in the yard. At the time, I would have loved to spend less time with them.