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The Lethality of Loneliness

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Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#151

Post by illuminate »

greenlander wrote: post #121
breakupapp wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So what's a good solution to shortening the time it takes to meet one's fiancée?

99% of mainstream dating advice is hogwash. Learn the truth about women. Start reading: http://dalrock.wordpress.com/ http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ The best dating advice is concentrated on men who are players or aspire to be. But the skills to seduce a fling and a future wife are very similar. If you want to catch a great woman, you must have the skills to catch any woman.

"the skills to seduce a fling and a future wife are very similar"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#152

Post by Joeri »

sigkill wrote: post #148
taurath wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The above advice is probably really good if you think of women as objects.

If you can have a Class of Human, I don't see the problem having women AND men as objects.

The problem is that it doesn't have a point to it. If you don't treat people like people, instead of puppets, there's very little point to interacting with them. Even if you could "catch any woman", what would you do with her when the superficial fun wears off?

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#153

Post by illuminate »

sinnerswing wrote: post #27
navs wrote: post #16

So what do you folks do to combat loneliness? I've tried meetup.com but the groups I joined haven't quite worked out for me. Outside of work acquaintances and classmates, I don't socialize.

stop being a pussy and listen to Roth-era Van Halen. or... 2 chicks at the same time, man. ;)

Temporary jollies don't get rid of the great chasm of loneliness. When they're gone, it remains.

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#154

Post by bjourne »

I wonder is anyone else feeling that the stigma of being alone is much worse than actually being alone? Thing is, if you voluntarily spend your weekends playing games, coding, walking in the nature or any other non-social activity it reflects negatively upon you. I've spent a lot of holidays all by myself doing what I enjoy, eating the holiday candy I like the most, and just relaxing. From what I can tell, "normal" people would feel miserable spending their time like that, so they assume that I too must feel miserable.

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#155

Post by illuminate »

anaon12 wrote: post #97

I'm probably entering the most lonely stage of my life at the moment, having my 3rd alcohol related arrest has really pushed me further down the hole. Despite all of my legal problems, I'm still holding down the same job, but I feel at my age I've really done myself in. Obviously booze is a problem of which I've completely eradicated from my life over the past 2 months. The really sad part is I'm well adjusted otherw…

"I've wanted to work abroad but I feel I'm trapped now by my past"

Well, perhaps by international law (probably depends on the area) but make sure you're not looking for a geographic escape whenever you find yourself ready, your problems don't end in the US, obviously.

Still, 28 is fairly young to consider yourself "doomed".

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#156

Post by hosh »

intellegacy wrote: post #142
hosh wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It does have more to do with feeling alone. Hermits, monks, nuns, sages, sadhus, ascetics, cultivators, shamans, mind travellers from all around the world of different wisdom traditions typically have essentially the same practice. Each is looking into themselves to gain insights about the world. This insight is at the core of everything: We live in an *illusion* that we are separate from each other. This is at the c…

This is amazing! So insightful. Can I talk to you sometime via email? I'm interested in your thoughts about how to bring people together and be less lonely. BTW why can't I follow you on quora?

Sure, feel free to email me.

I don't know why you can't follow me on Quora.

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#157

Post by hosh »

virtualwhys wrote: post #128
hosh wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It does have more to do with feeling alone. Hermits, monks, nuns, sages, sadhus, ascetics, cultivators, shamans, mind travellers from all around the world of different wisdom traditions typically have essentially the same practice. Each is looking into themselves to gain insights about the world. This insight is at the core of everything: We live in an *illusion* that we are separate from each other. This is at the c…

"So get in touch with yourself; get in touch with your family and friends. Start with some affection, that's pretty easy :-)" That's an interesting assumption. Perhaps there's another form of separation: playing the role of teacher ;-) The all alone together expression is a koan, presumably you "get" it.

Sure, ok :-)

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#158

Post by hosh »

intellegacy wrote: post #141
hosh wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Neither. This kind of loneliness has as much to do with rejecting oneself as it is being rejected by other people. Each of us have emotional wounds inside that are sensitive. We typically wrap layers and layers of personality, activities, and rationalizations to protect it. And if it gets through that, it triggers some protective emotional outbursts or behaviors. Or we shut down, like the woman in catatonia. It is us…

Insightful emotional intelligence you don't see often on HN. Where/how did you learn that?

I got my ass kicked several times by a goddess. ;-) Each time, I saw a lot of things about myself I didn't want to see. I got inundated with feelings I didn't want to feel. I've felt what love feels like, and I know it's there even in the most painful and horrible places. I know we're never truly alone or abandoned; I've wept for the people still wandering lost, not knowing what they seek is right there with them. I've learned how to meditate and have been practicing it for a while. This is all still an ongoing transformation. Feel free to email if you want details.

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#159

Post by illuminate »

illuminate wrote: post #151
greenlander wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

99% of mainstream dating advice is hogwash. Learn the truth about women. Start reading: http://dalrock.wordpress.com/ http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ The best dating advice is concentrated on men who are players or aspire to be. But the skills to seduce a fling and a future wife are very similar. If you want to catch a great woman, you must have the skills to catch any woman.

"the skills to seduce a fling and a future wife are very similar" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult

Besides that those same "skills" you're developing are going to fuck up your future relationship(s) when you continue to behave like a sociopath.

Re: The Lethality of Loneliness

#160

Post by sigkill »

Joeri wrote: post #152
sigkill wrote: post #148

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you can have a Class of Human, I don't see the problem having women AND men as objects.

The problem is that it doesn't have a point to it. If you don't treat people like people, instead of puppets, there's very little point to interacting with them. Even if you could "catch any woman", what would you do with her when the superficial fun wears off?

Obviously I wholeheartedly agree with you. I was just trying to make a relevant joke.

On a more serious note, people who treat others (be it men or women) as objects/puppets are themselves devoid of any deeper intelligence. I will go so far to generalize and say that they are pretty shallow morally, and a lot of times, intellectually (not quite, but I don't know a better word).

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