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We Found Our Son in the Subway

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Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#151

Post by mhurron »

Adirael wrote: post #135
vaadu wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a bad idea. What if the government offered free tubal ligation and vasectomy. If you later want to have kids that cost is on you to reverse it.

The vasectomy (and I guess the tube ligation as well, I haven't looked into it) is NOT reversible. You can try and there's some success rate, the sooner you do it the better chances, but it's not a reversible method. Don't use it as contraception, it's easier to educate and use different methods.

>Don't use it as contraception,

Once you have decided that you do not under any circumstances want children, the only better way to prevent it is abstinence.

Some people do not ever want kids.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#152

Post by eru »

lotsofcows wrote: post #139
jiggy2011 wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here in the UK at least basically everyone has access to free contraception, you can usually walk into a health clinic and ask for a bag of condoms and they will give them to you. I think there may also be mechanisms for women to get the contraceptive pill gratis if they are on government support. The issue is though that this requires some degree of responsibility and planning, which is almost by definition missing…

Not a particularly vicious cycle given a society that a) only works if it grows b) only grows due to immigration

Which society are you talking about?

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#153

Post by Tichy »

salgernon wrote: post #145
ajtaylor wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife and I also adopted through a state Family Services division. You probably don't want to hear how we got lucky and got a baby within a few months... But we did come pretty close to taking a sibling group of 5. The case worker basically decided she didn't like/want us and that was that. We were pretty upset at the time, but things often have a way of working out. The system is massively screwed up, but I hope y…

It's 4am and I'm reading hacker news in the play yard. I guess without kids it's be 4am and I'd be debugging something. In only one of these scenarios am I not covered in vomit. I'm hoping for one of those "what'll you remember later" moments, but right now I'm remembering a particularly nice day with gdb and otool -tv. Darling little otool!

The puking phase is only a couple of weeks, really. I think you exaggerate...

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#154

Post by jeltz »

kerneis wrote: post #136
zeidrich wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The child is better off than he would have been had he been left in the subway. Kids need most of all someone who will go out of their way to keep them safe and healthy. He had parents who were presumably a man and a woman. They left him in a bundle in a subway. He had parents who were a man and a man. They dropped everything in their life and rearranged it so they could save a stranger's baby who only needed to be t…

> He's prepubescent, he's not got a problem with his sexuality because he doesn't even have a sexuality. I agree with the rest of your comment, but that specific sentence... It has been known for at least a century that children, and even babies, have a sexuality (which does not mean they have sexual intercourse). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosexual_development

That article is mostly based on Freud who had little to no scientific basis for his theories. I do not recommend reading it without also reading up on the current theories first.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#155

Post by thisone »

Adirael wrote: post #135
vaadu wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a bad idea. What if the government offered free tubal ligation and vasectomy. If you later want to have kids that cost is on you to reverse it.

The vasectomy (and I guess the tube ligation as well, I haven't looked into it) is NOT reversible. You can try and there's some success rate, the sooner you do it the better chances, but it's not a reversible method. Don't use it as contraception, it's easier to educate and use different methods.

Why else would you have a vasectomy or tubal ligation if not for contraceptive reasons?

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#156

Post by drakeandrews »

short_circut wrote: post #123
lelandbatey wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed, that is in fact very explicitly what belongs on HN. Quoted from the HN Guidelines: "On-Topic: Anything that good hackers would find interesting. That includes more than hacking and startups. If you had to reduce it to a sentence, the answer might be: anything that gratifies one's intellectual curiosity." If it "gratifies one's intellectual curiosity, it's totally cool.

If you think about it, it is technically a hack. They sort of hacked the adoption process. From my understanding usually adoption is significantly more difficult.

I think technically the judge hacked the adoption process.

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#157

Post by darkarmani »

siscia wrote: post #30

Love the story. When we talk about gay marriage and adoption I always need to query a little more, especially about the kids. What's about Kevin ? His life is "perfectly normal" (how stupid is this expression) ? He is happy ? Does he have problem with his sexuality ? Do anybody have any experience to share ? Please to be obvious, in neither way... (Why this is on HN ? Well, because I believe that HN is one of the bes…

> Does he have problem with his sexuality?

What do you mean by problem? Like he feels guilty for being straight or something?

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#158

Post by lotsofcows »

eru wrote: post #152
lotsofcows wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a particularly vicious cycle given a society that a) only works if it grows b) only grows due to immigration

Which society are you talking about?

Parent said, "Here in the UK".

Although I think it applies to most of the first world.

An interesting definition of "first world" could be "the point where native deaths outweigh native births".

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#159

Post by darkarmani »

apendleton wrote: post #80
natrius wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I consider your hypothetical question to be a legitimate one. The problem is that these sorts of questions are often the precursor to banning unconventional families until someone proves that no harm is done. That sort of thinking is harmful, but I don't think asking the questions is harmful.

I agree that there are potentially-interesting sociological questions to be asked, but it's possible to ask them in a way that's not loaded. The parent poster asks about whether the kid has "problems with his sexuality," which I take to be asking either whether as a result of having gay parents, the kid is gay (implying that gayness is a "problem"), or alternatively, whether the gay parents have caused some problem o…

Maybe he thought the parents are Catholic which would mean Kevin would have guilt over his sexuality regardless of him being gay or straight?

(kidding!)

Re: We Found Our Son in the Subway

#160

Post by salgernon »

Tichy wrote: post #153
salgernon wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's 4am and I'm reading hacker news in the play yard. I guess without kids it's be 4am and I'd be debugging something. In only one of these scenarios am I not covered in vomit. I'm hoping for one of those "what'll you remember later" moments, but right now I'm remembering a particularly nice day with gdb and otool -tv. Darling little otool!

The puking phase is only a couple of weeks, really. I think you exaggerate...

Kid is ten months old with a stomache flu, so not really.

Although it is telling that you inferred that the vomit was associated with the kid, and not the debugging session :-)

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