That's a beautiful writing style. Feels like there's some Anthony Bourdain in it :)
It feels like the average LinkedIn post, down to the paragraph breaks used as emphasis. I find it incredibly grating.
The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
151–160 of 456 posts
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#152Lately I've found that cafes (and also some very popular restaurants) blast music at rock concert levels of volume. That seems to be a requirement to compete, for some reason. I waited at a cafe last year while my partner was at a meeting, and when I left (after about 90 minutes) my ears were ringing very loudly and that continued overnight. Not really a place for meditative thinking. The next time I had to go there, I brought noise cancelling headphones. I wonder what this does to the baristas who are there for many hours.
That's why it was so nice when I recently found a nice little mom-and-pop cafe that was quiet. I can't remember if there was music, but if there was, it was very quiet. Again, my partner was at a meeting, but this time I just sat and enjoyed my latte with no damage to my ears. I probably did look at my phone a few times. :)
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#153Earlier quoted context omitted.
Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.
I think it depends on what counts as doing nothing. Every time I cut my hair, I sit in a chair for ~30minutes silently without doing anything. My barber knows I don't like small talk so he just cuts my hair and that's it, there is no conversation. I would say it is very enjoyable 30 minutes every time I do it. I don't think anyone would describe that kind of experience as hard to do?
You're still being stimulated by the act of the barber cutting your hair. Sitting in a chair doing nothing alone in a silent room is a different story.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#154Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Some of the negativity is because many people out there were used to this slower way of living only for capitalist techbros to optimize every waking moment everything and hasten the rat race. So now the only people who can sit idly at a cafe would be those who've already have a few million in the bank. It'…
I have 500€ in my bank account, 3k debt and 30 years of work left ahead of me and I take a lot of idle time in cafes or trains or the park. I don't see the issue. The sooner one realizes that working hard isn't the key to life the sooner one realizes you'll have plenty more time. If you get something out of working hard, like joy, sure go ahead. But dont lie to yourself and think that working hard will actually ever…
>I take a lot of idle time in cafes or trains or the park. I don't see the issue.
Well, it sounds like you're not american. You have trains to use and clean parks, for one. That's nice.
>The sooner one realizes that working hard isn't the key to life the sooner one realizes you'll have plenty more time.
We're given decreasingly less choices, sadly. Work hard and cheap or be unable to pay rent and be kicked to the streets. The Social network over here is so broken that many have zero safety net, in terms of both government and community. Let alone a new book and a shower (well, maybe you get a gym subscription. I've heard that as a "life hack" for homeless people).
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#155Not that I want to be necessarily contrarian, but just a few months ago I decided to stop worrying about using my phone, and it honestly feels like the most liberating decision of my life.
There is nothing wrong with it.
I think that many people feel like their lives suck in some way that they can't define or explain, and they want something to blame it on, and their phone is an excellent target. It's relatively new. Of course it's the source of recent problems. It's CONVENIENT. You can do something about it by simply not looking at it.
Your phone is not the source of any of your problems.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#156You have to realize, that some folks were born in the age of super-information and immediacy.
When I take a picture, I get the luxury of immediately see what I got. When I wanted to hear some music, I can search it up, and hear an entire album in a question of seconds.
It's an incredible privilege to do that, but at the same time, we got so used to speed, that pausing can be new for us.
This year I had the opportunity to travel to Europe and just sit in a café, sipping coffee, just observing, and it also felt new and different for me.
I shot with an analogue camera because I enjoy the feeling of waiting for the results, not being able to see the results at the split of a second.
This blog resonates with me because I've been feeling I want to pause more, to create more memories, to be in the moment. I should go to a café without phones and a notepad.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#157Lately I've found that cafes (and also some very popular restaurants) blast music at rock concert levels of volume. That seems to be a requirement to compete, for some reason. I waited at a cafe last year while my partner was at a meeting, and when I left (after about 90 minutes) my ears were ringing very loudly and that continued overnight. Not really a place for meditative thinking. The next time I had to go there,…
That's sad to hear. Unless the place is explicitly brining in live music, I consider cafes to be relatively quiet in general. Almost as a way to explicitly avoid that "bar culture" where i can barely hear my own thoughts.
And most thankfully are in my area (just don't go to the one near schools on weekdays). Really hope it stays that way.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#158You have to realize, that some folks were born in the age of super-information and immediacy. When I take a picture, I get the luxury of immediately see what I got. When I wanted to hear some music, I can search it up, and hear an entire album in a question of seconds. It's an incredible privilege to do that, but at the same time, we got so used to speed, that pausing can be new for us. This year I had the opportunit…
How did you get on top of the cafe?
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#159It literally changed my life. A decade ago I was working a boring job paying the bills in a small company. I honestly felt that despite being financially safe I was wasting my life. I didn't believe in the company mission and I wasn't gaining new skills. I was bored out. I went to a cafe every morning for 30min BEFORE my actual job. I did whatever I wanted, meaning reading, writing, jolting down ideas, being producti…
[deleted]
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#160Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why?
you do not need a gym to work out so it is just a waste of money. I used to have membership at Bally’s when I was single but that was for meeting girls, not for working out. I don’t understand people paying money to go to gyms these days for the purposes of working out
Not that I've ever belonged to one but I understand people wanting access to various equipment or even a swimming pool.
Personally, I prefer to walk/hike but I understand that isn't enough for everyone.