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Becoming the person who does the thing

fredrivett.com

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Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#151

Post by nasmorn »

jamestimmins wrote: post #126
tempodox wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> realizing that there was no future "grown up" version of me Should you get older (which is probable), you’ll be amazed at how wrong that is. Development doesn’t stop at 30, it just gets a little slower.

That's very exciting to hear! I'd be delighted to be wrong about that. Edit: Although, just to clarify, I didn't really mean that I think I won't change as I get older. Moreso that if growing a mustache or getting involved in international diplomacy was going to be in my future, I'd likely have some indication of that by now.

Wrong. I never ran more than 5 times a year until I was 30 and now I have run ultra marathons. It is my spiritual calling and I didn’t know about it until 34. Now I am 44 and probably in the best shape of my life.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#153

Post by nachox999 »

huhkerrf wrote: post #20

I found the article anodyne enough, so this is not a knock on it, but something I've noticed as I've gotten older that I find a bit amusing and curious. What is it that makes people in tech in their late 20s and 30s write about life lessons like an old sage? I don't notice 32 year old farmers or roughnecks doing this.

old farmers do the same, they just don't blog

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#154

Post by nachox999 »

dbdr wrote: post #15
olau wrote: post #6

Some years ago I bought a little pamphlet with a few mental exercises by Rudolf Steiner, known for the Waldorf school system. One of them was about building a habit. You find a small meaningless thing to do, it must have no purpose at all, and then you do it once every day for as long as it takes to become a habit, probably a month or two. E.g. you could fill a glass with water and throw it out. I did the exercise (I…

What's the benefit of building a useless habit instead of a useful one?

learn for a fact that you can change

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#155

Post by carlosjobim »

the_af wrote: post #111
carlosjobim wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why not? Experience and maturity is not very dependent on age. Getting those depends on doing it, not just waiting on time passing by. I'm much older than the article author, but it would be foolish of me to think that I couldn't learn things from 20 year olds – including important and profound teachings and advice.

I would say experience is correlated with age. You need to live to gain experience. Someone in their 20s simply hasn't lived long enough to be giving life lessons. (Give or take some extraordinary exceptions of people who accumulate a lot of hard-earned experience very early in their lives; but the general rule applies).

You need to do things to gain experience. Doing time is not enough. A 20 year old can in many cases have done and experienced much more already in life than some 40 year olds. The large majority of today's mass population have identical lives that are staked out for them from the cradle to the grave, and it is true that most only gain experience by accidents which accumulate over the years. But many people live real lives already from a young age, and have the experience which that gives.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#156

Post by noisem4ker »

Hunpeter wrote: post #121
jamestimmins wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always half-joke that I gave up on my hopes of being a child prodigy when I turned 30. That was a major milestone not just for realizing that there was no future "grown up" version of me, but also seeing how much time had passed and how little was left. So I accepted that who I am is who I'm going to be, for the most part, and I might as well make the best of it. That opened up a lot of doors for personal interest…

A somewhat more depressing take: "There comes a time in everyone's life when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you'll ever be. And you accept that fact - or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors." (Babylon 5, quoted from memory, so probably not 100% correct) As I'm nearing 30, still in the "I can be anything I want" phase, I wonder when this time will arrive. And whether…

That first "or" coordinate was really uncalled for.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#157

Post by the_af »

carlosjobim wrote: post #155
the_af wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say experience is correlated with age. You need to live to gain experience. Someone in their 20s simply hasn't lived long enough to be giving life lessons. (Give or take some extraordinary exceptions of people who accumulate a lot of hard-earned experience very early in their lives; but the general rule applies).

You need to do things to gain experience. Doing time is not enough. A 20 year old can in many cases have done and experienced much more already in life than some 40 year olds. The large majority of today's mass population have identical lives that are staked out for them from the cradle to the grave, and it is true that most only gain experience by accidents which accumulate over the years. But many people live real…

The implication goes the other way: someone who has done a lot of things and learned many lessons has lived a longer time. Not that people who have lived longer necessarily drew valuable lessons.

It's less likely that a 20 year old has done as many things, faced as many challenges, and drawn as many lessons, as someone who doubles them in age. They simply haven't lived long enough to be able to tell if their lessons validate or generalize well.

Even the perspective of someone who has most of their life ahead vs someone who has a few decades more is wildly different. Someone with most of their lives ahead can course-correct more easily. Someone who hasn't had their mid-life crisis yet, etc, etc -- you get the idea.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#158

Post by HankStallone »

cloverich wrote: post #82
flippyhead wrote: post #45

The trick to getting results in the gym, and establishing a sustainable practice (which is key in both exercise and diet), is to just go regularly but allow yourself to leave at any point. Say you decide four days a week is your long-term goal. On that first day, if you want, leave after 5m. But return the next day. Keep doing this and eventually, I promise, you'll average the 45m you need four days a week forever. I…

I've gotten into and out of regular exercise over time. And, i actually did that 5 minute trick in my apartment gym in my 30s. I literally went to the gym i think.... 3 or 4 times consecutively and stayed literally five minutes. Did one pushup. Five minutes in elliptical. etc. ... it totally worked. before long i was staying ten, casually doing more while listening to podcasts. It actually changed my mindset; i was s…

I've been doing that lately with cleaning my barn, which is partly disorganized and partly too much junk, both mine and the previous owner's. I'd been telling myself to set aside a day or two to tear into it and get it all done, and it never happened. So lately I go out every day on my lunch break and work at it for 15 minutes.

It's not as efficient as doing it all at once, since it takes a minute to look around and pick something to do next. But I'm making progress, which I wasn't at all before.

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#159

Post by FearNotDaniel »

Hunpeter wrote: post #121
jamestimmins wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always half-joke that I gave up on my hopes of being a child prodigy when I turned 30. That was a major milestone not just for realizing that there was no future "grown up" version of me, but also seeing how much time had passed and how little was left. So I accepted that who I am is who I'm going to be, for the most part, and I might as well make the best of it. That opened up a lot of doors for personal interest…

A somewhat more depressing take: "There comes a time in everyone's life when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you'll ever be. And you accept that fact - or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors." (Babylon 5, quoted from memory, so probably not 100% correct) As I'm nearing 30, still in the "I can be anything I want" phase, I wonder when this time will arrive. And whether…

"It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself: 'I shall never play the Dane.'"

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2013/mar/29/richard-grif...

Re: Becoming the person who does the thing

#160

Post by carlosjobim »

the_af wrote: post #157
carlosjobim wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You need to do things to gain experience. Doing time is not enough. A 20 year old can in many cases have done and experienced much more already in life than some 40 year olds. The large majority of today's mass population have identical lives that are staked out for them from the cradle to the grave, and it is true that most only gain experience by accidents which accumulate over the years. But many people live real…

The implication goes the other way: someone who has done a lot of things and learned many lessons has lived a longer time. Not that people who have lived longer necessarily drew valuable lessons. It's less likely that a 20 year old has done as many things, faced as many challenges, and drawn as many lessons, as someone who doubles them in age. They simply haven't lived long enough to be able to tell if their lessons…

What kind of knowledge can you get from old age that you cannot get from experience?
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