On Not Carrying a Camera – Cultivating memories instead of snapshots

Yeah, I was one of those "live in the moment" type people, still kind of am. But my girlfriend meticulously photographs everything. Google photos will every now and then give me a notification along the lines of "Merzouga 3 years ago". I don't remember the exact wording, every time it's different and about a different location/topic. I get to relive all those moments and keep them "fresh" in my memory.

If she didn't take those photos, it's very likely those moments would fade and eventually I would forget everything apart from "Oh yeah, I was there one time".

I do hate the trend of AI editing photographs. If we took a selfie and I closed my eyes, or if there a whole bunch of people in the background, I want that to be captured. Removing the imperfections will change the memory. It's why I don't mind her recreating the same photograph that hundreds of other people have done, because it will still be different. It's what that "thing" was like when we were there, which will most likely be slightly different from everyone elses photo.

Completely disagree; photographs are just another kind of symbol, whether they be with others or not. I rarely travel with other people, and I despise having my own picture taken. All my photographs are of landscapes or objects; they're not terribly pretty but they do have meaning to me.

There one of of a non descript mountain turn with a small gravel pullout. There's a million prettier pictures but that one means the most meaning to me.

I almost died there; crashed on my motorcycle. Took the turn just a little too fast, panicked and just went over the edge trying desperately to stop. I don't remember much of the crash itself; just green, brown, and blue. Just that when I finally managed to get myself together, my leg crushed under the bike on on dirt that felt like concrete. No chance of pushing the bike off. No chance of digging or wriggling free. No chance of being seen from the road. My only hope was 911.

Except... I couldn't bring myself to call. There was nothing technically stopping me; good signal strength, modern phone with enhanced positional reporting. Just one little button press and help would be on the way. But why?

Why should I call for help?

Why did I want to keep living?

Why do I deserve to live?

Damned questions that I had been asking myself nearly every day for almost 26 years of my life by then. And here, finally at that mountain road I couldn't run from it any more. But it was also the first real chance I had to put myself to the test; to know myself one way or the other. So I turned my phone off. And left my mortality to the hands of fate.

For 7 hours I just lay there, nothing else to do but watch sun and cloud drift in the sky with waiting for an end. And yet there was a stillness there that I had never experienced before in my life. No more voices demanding that I meet their expectations. No more fear. No more uncertainty. Just a blessed silence with a light at the end of the road that I had no seen in a long time.

It seemed almost cruel when motorist looking to relieve himself found me. Part of my wished he hadn't but there was not much else that could be done then. Him and his buddy played the rescuers, and I played the victim; freed me from my entrapment, got my bike on the road, kindly offered to call for help or stay with me, and I declined as graciously as I could and limped both myself and bike home.

But after so long, I had an answer.

I don't want to live.

I don't deserve to live.

My life has no meaning.

But it also means that I don't have to care anymore either. Not about trying to maximize my career. No more forcing myself to fake smiles to make friends I can't find any connection with. No worry about finding a partner. Not about measuring myself or trying to improve or anything.

That photograph on my phone is meaningless to everyone else.

To me, it was where I finally found peace. And nothing can ever replace that.

Mine was "I want to be experiencing life, not recording it", and recently when a large group of acquaintances were sharing memories of a particular period, I had nothing to share.

I too wish there were some more photos from my late teens/early 20s.

Of course this was all before smart phones, and now perhaps one may be justified complaining more about ubiquitous surveillance and incessant sharing online.

Same thing happened to me when I went to the two most beautiful places I have been. In the second place I should have taken more fotos becausei was aware of this fact from losing all memorable memories of the first trip. In all don't look for fotos but whatever good things u see MUST be captured otherwise you will forget in 6 months

Like any tech nerds, I went through "camera phase" and carried canon 350d, 50d then 6d everywhere i go with my 50mm and 135mm ... but they were indeed bulky, it was a hassle to get people to pose for photos while i run 100m back so my 135mm can capture them perfectly... i couldn't enjoy the moment, i was that "camera friend" that would fly around everyone like fly, capturing them doing things and feeling proud that i got a good photo for them... But coming back from these trips, i realized i didnt spend enough time strolling the street with friends, talking about life, enjoying the moment so i stopped... especially now with kids.

If only people are not so against camera recording them, i think a rayban meta idea would have been cool but it needs to constantly recording like those car dash cam and when you just shared a perfect funny moment, you can immediately hit save to preserve that moment for later. So many times i wished i recorded the moment my childrens do things or being funny but it was too late.

I love taking photo with phone still and when my wife dress in her favourite coat and the setting is right, i would go back to being the "camera dude" using my best framing technique i learnt to capture the moment, at least the experience from those years did not go to waste.

Last but not least, one of the best purchase i ever done was the insta link wide bluetooth printer... it let me print, sign the date and gift my friends who visit something to take home and put on their fridge to remember the time we spent together.