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Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

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Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#151

Post by pchristensen »

afavour wrote: post #2

> my husband Tyler and I wanted that sense of community that feels like it’s only possible in the suburbs, but we believed we could achieve this while living in San Francisco. This genuinely threw me because in my experience the suburbs are the antithesis of this, just lots of people occupying neighboring space and rarely talking to each other. Still, a heartwarming story all the same. And yes, this is _exactly_ what…

Suburbs are typically more socially homogenous, with more institutional connections between residents (kids go to the same school, people work for the same local employer, same church, etc) with a physical environment less conducive to connectivity. City neighborhoods (again, typically) have better physical presence with neighbors that are less likely to have things in common. I think that's what the author is trying to say.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#152

Post by acchow »

afavour wrote: post #2

> my husband Tyler and I wanted that sense of community that feels like it’s only possible in the suburbs, but we believed we could achieve this while living in San Francisco. This genuinely threw me because in my experience the suburbs are the antithesis of this, just lots of people occupying neighboring space and rarely talking to each other. Still, a heartwarming story all the same. And yes, this is _exactly_ what…

The running joke is that nobody in NYC knows their neighbors.

In a sense, you no longer need to since you now have thousands of people within about a dozen-suburban-house's distance away.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#153

Post by tyhoff »

mrweasel wrote: post #113

It's interesting how different people can be, and what energizes us. The coffee on the stoop seems incredibly nice, and I love that they acknowledge that the simplest events are some of the best ones. Once they start taking about "watch parties" and potlucks I personally check out completely, that's way too much for me. The less official stuff sound really great though, just sitting down for one cup of coffees time,…

You say the 'watch parties' are too much, but these are actually the events that are the best. They are at 8p, people come over when their kids are in bed, we have 4-10 people show up, everyone's in their sweat pants, and we watch a TV episode. We discuss it for 10-15m afterwards, and we generally part ways.

It's such a low-effort and small event, and it allows people to get into other people's homes in a low-judgement way. It's been one of the more successful events at getting neighbors to become friends with each other.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#154

Post by palijer »

xattt wrote: post #126
jimbokun wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Suburbs often have physical constraints with the way houses are laid out making this "stoop coffee" approach more difficult, if anything. Houses laid out in a way that you're more likely to drink your coffee on your back patio surrounded by a fence or hedges to avoid being seen. And even if you are sitting in front of your house, neighbors are more likely to be driving by instead of walking so not very likely to stop…

This is the entire thesis of Jane Jacobs’ work: urban living works because of friction-by-design. Inadvertent interactions between people you see every day build a sense of community over time — the “sidewalk ballet”. I always wondered what she would have thought about her ideas in the context of COVID.

I think we're a long way off from the communities when Jane Jacobs lived. An except that I frequently think about, I can't even fathom in a large city in the current era, and not because technology has solved the key problem.

>Joe Cornacchia, who keeps the delicatessen, usually has a dozen or so keys at a time for handing out like this. He has a special drawer for them.

>Now why do I, and many others, select Joe as a logical custodian for keys? Because we trust him, first, to be a respon sible custodian, but equally important because we know that he combines a feeling of good will with a feeling of no personal responsibility about our private affairs. Joe considers it no con cern of his whom we choose to permit in our places and why. Around on the other side of our block, people leave their keys at a Spanish grocery. On the other side of Joe's block, people leave them at the candy store. Down a block they leave them at the coffee shop, and a few hundred feet around the corner from that, in a barber shop. Around one corner from two fashionable blocks of town houses and apartments in the Upper East Side, people leave their keys in a butcher shop and a bookshop; around another corner they leave them in a cleaner's and a drug store.

>In unfashionable East Harlem keys are left with at least one florist, in bakeries, in luncheonettes, in Spanish and Italian groceries.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#155

Post by skyyler »

timewizard wrote: post #56
skyyler wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It helps that you self-select for the audience by who can afford the building, just like they've done the same with their neighbourhood. Heavens forbid we have to break bread with one of the poors . Did you mean to imply that you only prefer to associate with people that have around as much money as you?

I believe you missed the OPs point. I believe he's suggesting that this couple has it on "easy mode" because of the affluence of the area they already live in. If they tried this same technique in a more working class neighborhood they would likely have a harder time creating and maintaining this group.

>I believe he's suggesting that this couple has it on "easy mode" because of the affluence of the area they already live in.

That's actually even worse than I thought.

Working class neighborhoods already have stuff like this happening. Cookouts and block parties are pretty common! I'm not sure why it would be more difficult if the people were poor.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#156

Post by skyyler »

apocadam wrote: post #134
timewizard wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe you missed the OPs point. I believe he's suggesting that this couple has it on "easy mode" because of the affluence of the area they already live in. If they tried this same technique in a more working class neighborhood they would likely have a harder time creating and maintaining this group.

If anything I would say it's the opposite - individuals in less affluent communities are more likely to need the help of their neighbors, and thus interact and form relationships

Correct! I've never been to a crab boil in an affluent neighborhood.

But boy howdy have I been to a lot of them in working class areas.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#157

Post by skyyler »

NaOH wrote: post #103
skyyler wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It helps that you self-select for the audience by who can afford the building, just like they've done the same with their neighbourhood. Heavens forbid we have to break bread with one of the poors . Did you mean to imply that you only prefer to associate with people that have around as much money as you?

>Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

What do you think would be a stronger interpretation of that?

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#158

Post by tyhoff »

volkk wrote: post #15

i think there's a really valuable app/site to be made that involves discovering people or handling communications literally on your block (i.e hyper local neighborhood). nextdoor is the 1.0 of this that introduced the concept but poorly, and i'm still waiting for a 2.0 i guess it doesn't have to be an app, since whatsapp can handle most of this, but there's a discovery piece that would be missing that this app can so…

The most important part, no matter if it's email, Nextdoor, WhatsApp, is that we can use it to disperse information quickly, and then get off the platform and meet up in person. Our stoop coffees are broadcasted via WhatsApp, and then some people tell their immediate neighbors via text, and then people show up.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#159

Post by soulofmischief »

czhu12 wrote: post #94

Really heart warming story. My 2 cents: The group is at a critical point now, having ~100 Whatsapp members. From what I've seen this creates a chilling effect where you inevitably end up with cliques and social cooling. No new members will feel like they can actually send a message into a 100+ person group, while the old guard starts to use it as a notification board, rather than a real chat. Eventually, newer member…

This seems unnecessarily harsh toward people who like to travel.

Re: Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood

#160

Post by jll29 »

jimbokun wrote: post #73
happytoexplain wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>just lots of people occupying neighboring space and rarely talking to each other. This is a bitter stereotype that is leveled against both city-dwellers and suburb-dwellers, and, like many stereotypes, has some truth to it in both cases, but amounts to uncalled-for negativity. Some people don't want to interact with their neighbors, regardless of whether they live in a city or a suburb. Others are sociable with thei…

Suburbs often have physical constraints with the way houses are laid out making this "stoop coffee" approach more difficult, if anything. Houses laid out in a way that you're more likely to drink your coffee on your back patio surrounded by a fence or hedges to avoid being seen. And even if you are sitting in front of your house, neighbors are more likely to be driving by instead of walking so not very likely to stop…

San Francisco is a great city for that, because it is very walkable (if you have the energy to manage its steep hills).

There is a close connection between urban architecture and whether or not community building can take place, and sadly, many places are not like it.

Kunstler's TED talk is a fantastic way to become more aware of that topic: https://www.ted.com/talks/james_howard_kunstler_the_ghastly_...

His thesis is some of the US must be torn down to rebuild it in a friendlier community-enabling way.

Curiously, to the OP's "stoop coffee" topic, he already recognized the communicative potential/value of the space in front of houses, and he points out that old European cities "got that right" (and having a central market square, too).

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