Those brothers are lucky this stalker was so meek. Things could have easily ended horribly.
Well it could also ended horribly in a different way if they didn't act.
Sounds like Minority Report. Great movie btw.
How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
151–160 of 225 posts
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#152Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, but like... they didn't even "let the police handle it." They just went straight to "late-night stakeout." > Cops can’t do much if you’re worried someone will harm you or a loved one. You're right, and that would be a scary situation... if they didn't have more than enough evidence for the police to get involved. Repeated, late-night visits to leave threatening messages would be plenty for a restraining order i…
> Repeated, late-night visits to leave threatening messages would be plenty for a restraining order in the U.S., or at the very least to spur further police investigation. Restraining order against whom exactly? The masked man? Also, what tactical protection do you think a restraining order provides against someone with actual intent to harm? > In this case, her brothers could have taken turns driving home from work…
Also, in "this situation", they already have camera footage of it being one guy coming on his own.
3 burly overprotective brothers vs some creepy stalker dude who shows up late at night like a coward? Those are odds that I'd totally put on the brother's side. Since the cops had already "Sorry, not much we can do"ed the sister, I'd happily be big brothering up and taking that confrontational risk.
(I'd also happily do it with barley plausibly denial "sporting equipment" in hand as well - 3 burly Scottish brothers carrying cricket bats vs one cowardly late night creepy stalker? And if ever needed I'd try on the "Why yes officer, we were all on our way back to our sister's house from a late night cricket practice when we discovered a man interfering with our sister's car!" line.)
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#153Nice that he plugged his de-anonymizing service in the store. "We take away your privacy, so that you sisters won't be stalked"
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#154Earlier quoted context omitted.
The practical mechanisms to handle stalking like this are restraining orders and trespassing laws. Trespassing is the easier of the two to utilize. If it's your land, you can tell the police who's allowed on it. Once either of those things has been set up, the police can arrest the offender the next time he shows up. Beyond that, move somewhere with a strong castle doctrine, where you can own a firearm. This isn't a…
>> If you can't shoot intruders in your house without consequence, you are living in a failing state. What nonsense. I live in Japan, where it is practically impossible to obtain a firearm. The same would be true for the OP in Scotland. Neither should be considered a failing state except under your ridiculous definition.
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Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#155Maybe obvious, but uh: don’t fucking do this! I get it, I'm an older brother, I would wanna go ballistic too. But the fact that these guys skipped over "notify the police" and went straight to "seek out in-person confrontation" is insane! Stalkers are not people in their right mind. Staking out and planning to “citizen’s arrest”(???) someone who has repeatedly visited late at night to threaten and harass is NOT SAFE…
This is highly context dependent. The police are not reliable in many (probably most) places in the world. In many places you're much better off with a direct confrontation.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#156Firstly there’s zero chance this was the guy’s first rodeo. Second, without a custodial sentence it wont be his last. When these stories end in tragedy there’s always the part of the story that goes something like “…X had previously been reported on no fewer than Y occasions for similar behaviour.”
My thoughts exactly. If this guy was going through so much trouble to stalk someone over six months, a fine isn't going to stop him. He probably considers it to be a worthy cost for his obsession.
A part of me feels that this guy should be humiliated and beat to within inches of his own life. His behavior certainly deserves that, in a karmic sense. But that probably isn't the best way to protect the victim here. Probably the best way is some sort of custodial sentence, house arrest/monitoring, and compulsory therapy and/or medication.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#157Earlier quoted context omitted.
I thought this too. But you can feel incredibly powerless if all you do is “let the police handle it.” Even in this instance, nothing would have come of it had they not traced the guy. Prosecution of crime happens after a crime is committed. Cops can’t do much if you’re worried someone will harm you or a loved one. Even if stalking is illegal, cops won’t / can’t feasibly spend the resources investigating and punishin…
> nothing would have come of it had they not traced the guy Notify the cops. Track the guy down. Go to the station and request someone come out with you. This takes cops off the desk, which they’re rarely against unless you’re a nutter.
>This takes cops off the desk, which they’re rarely against unless you’re a nutter.
Is this something you have actual experience with? Because it doesn't sound plausible to me. Of course, I don't know where you live so it could be different there.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#158Maybe obvious, but uh: don’t fucking do this! I get it, I'm an older brother, I would wanna go ballistic too. But the fact that these guys skipped over "notify the police" and went straight to "seek out in-person confrontation" is insane! Stalkers are not people in their right mind. Staking out and planning to “citizen’s arrest”(???) someone who has repeatedly visited late at night to threaten and harass is NOT SAFE…
Hi, this is my article. I know it's a long read, but I presume you didn't read the whole article.
We certainly didn't skip notifying the police. The whole point of the article is that we did the opposite - gathered enough evidence so that the police could do their job.
The police were never going to do a stake out like we did.
Citizen's arrest is not such a unusual thing to do. We would not have messed with him if he produced a knife.
I note that when I published this article a week or two ago, much of the feedback (mostly from Americans I think) was that they would have skipped the police and just kicked the guy in! I would say we were quite sensible overall.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#159Earlier quoted context omitted.
I understand that. But you cannot assume they won't help. These guys didn't even try contacting the police before hatching a late-night scheme. For what it's worth, in my (regrettably several) experiences with stalkers/harassers, this situation would have been taken extremely seriously. "Masked guy repeatedly visits at night to write threatening messages on car of single woman living alone" is... about as explicit as…
Except they did: >Now it was time to call 999. My sister had already had a couple of police visits about the previous incidents, so they knew there was a problem linked to her flat and came round pretty quickly.
Thank you.
Re: How we turned the tables to catch my sister’s Bumble stalker
#160Earlier quoted context omitted.
I understand that. But you cannot assume they won't help. These guys didn't even try contacting the police before hatching a late-night scheme. For what it's worth, in my (regrettably several) experiences with stalkers/harassers, this situation would have been taken extremely seriously. "Masked guy repeatedly visits at night to write threatening messages on car of single woman living alone" is... about as explicit as…
Please stop repeating this falsehood. "My sister had already had a couple of police visits about the previous incidents."
Exactly.