I think this is probably an autistic take on this, but I think we care way to much about exposing kids to mean words and mean people. Again, perhaps an autistic take, but being bullied (badly) as a kid was easily the best thing that ever happened to me in terms of mental resilience.
Imagine we got into an argument and I got angry and called you a "smelly poo poo", you'd probably just laugh because despite what I'm saying being mean and profanity it's also such an insignificant insult that it borders on comical. But to a kid that might actually be quite offensive and hurtful and that's because they haven't built a tolerance.
I suspect this might be why a lot people today feel that words can be violent - they simply haven't built up a tolerance for offensive speech. And sometimes in the real world people can be offensive and mean.
Another thing I'll add here is that in the UK working class guys really like to insult each other. Given the types of individuals who browse HN I know most here won't relate to this, but it's actually kinda fun to be a dick to your friend. And further I'd argue that guys actually bond in part by playfighting and teasing each other. I get that what I'm saying here is very context dependent, but some of the best times of my childhood was playing video games with my friends and saying all kinds of horrid stuff to them. If I had to guess 80% of the stuff we'd say to each other on voice chat was insults but it was hilarious.
Kids are way stronger than we tend to think. If you teach a kid they're a victim because someone said something mean then they'll probably believe it and see themselves as a victim. On the other hand, if you act like mean words are no big deal and that sometimes people can be mean then they'll probably grow up much better prepared to handle the real world. At least in my experience / opinion.