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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#151

Post by cloverich »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

It does limit your options, but also helps you focus and teaches you to be patient and less self centered. It opens your eyes to a world that’s hard to otherwise appreciate. It’s not a panacea of meaning but for me, i’ve found myself able to achieve more growth now (two kids) because it’s forced me to confront and attack the thing that was holding me back: lack of focus and most importantly being very selective in what i choose to do.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#152

Post by garrickvanburen »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

Hard disagree.

I wasted a lot of time before kids.

All of the things I’m most proud of I’ve done since having kids.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#153

Post by jokethrowaway »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

There is no meaning in life except what you make of it.

You can argue those goals are just external influences that got imprinted in you in a period of your life in which you were prone to start dreaming.

Still, why not follow the goals you feel you should pursue?

Do what makes you happy, do what you can look back and say "that was cool", write a book you would read with your life actions.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#154

Post by [deleted] »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

[deleted]

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#155

Post by webmobdev »

arethuza wrote: post #90
pmoriarty wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…

I'm in my 50s and I like to think I've had a reasonable career so far. However, by far the most fulfilling thing I've done for a long long time is helping out in a foodbank in a nearby town. So my biggest regret at the moment is actually realising that, at least for me, helping other people actually can be rather more fulfilling than achieving purely personal goals - I wish I'd realised this sooner.

It's true that sometimes we find something fulfilling late in life. But we should also factor that our mind (and thus perspective) biologically change as we age. So what you find fulfilling now at 50 may not be something you may have enjoyed in your 20's or 30's. I remember as a teenager I used to consider kids below 10 dumb pain-in-the-asses. Today, as an adult, I mostly enjoy interacting with them and find their perspective and curiosity really interesting.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#156

Post by paulcole »

JKCalhoun wrote: post #137
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

No kids, huh?

If that’s how a person without kids feels, isn’t having kids just creating another person who has to have kids to find meaning in their life (and on and on and on)?

With the certainty of climate change, it feels like adoption is the only moral/ethical way to do this.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#157

Post by Draiken »

JKCalhoun wrote: post #137
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

No kids, huh?

(GP) I actually have a 21 year old. When I married he was 7, so I probably lost the craziness of the early years. However I raised him as my son the best way I could.

I don't particularly like the idea of having more kids though. Put them on this world?

Ugh... I know, I'm a bit too pessimistic

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#158

Post by JKCalhoun »

rkagerer wrote: post #23

The beginning of the article mentions a few examples of distractions. So much of the modern web is developed by people who've made a scientific study out of gaming your emotions and vying for your attention. Focus is a priceless resource. When I need to put my head down and concentrate, I try to shut off distractions. Like many developers I know, sometimes it means I gravitate to working late at night when the rest o…

> So much of the modern web is developed by people who've made a scientific study out of gaming your emotions and vying for your attention.

I just figured it was an evolutionary (sort of Darwinian) march to where we are now. Throw enough stuff at the wall and you'll quickly find what sticks.

But to be sure, when I saw I was wasting away flipping through the 100 or so cable TV channels (around about the year 1999 or so) I cut the cord.

Of course, the web was not nearly as intoxicating then. I have the new cord around my neck now.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#159

Post by meigwilym »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

My children are now over the age of ten. I find myself in a great place to start doing other things. I can do much more in the evenings, as long as I'm available for their taxi service. And me being out of the house has little to no impact on my wife.

The thing about having kids is that it's increased my drive. I had a few years where I failed to do things in the little time I had, so learned to push myself to do them. That's still there, in addition to having more free time.

So it's great! It only took...ooh...fifteen years?

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#160

Post by Derelicts »

JKCalhoun wrote: post #149
marinappi wrote: post #134

It's not just that I thought of accomplishing more, but I also believed the world would be stable and things wouldnt change too much. How foolish that was. A stable world is a dream and at any moment something somewhere might impact us so hard that it changes everything. My parents lived through that, had their jobs replaced with automated systems halting most of their dreams. And now we went through a pandemic and a…

It's true that the pace of change appears to have accelerated. I grew up under the threat that the USSR would nuke the U.S. and 70's culture was beginning to wake up to problems of oil shortages (embargoes), over-population, pollution. I am not sure I perceived the world as a stable, predictable thing even then. But the Boomers had the rug pulled out from under them when the Summer of Love rolled in and suddenly the…

I agree with all this. Times are changing and its happening so fast that not everyone can catch up. All the problems we had in the 70's did not get fully resolved, but seem to be getting worse, just look at global warming or oil and gas prices jumping sky high. Not to mention housing prices.

Will see where the world goes in the next decade.. I sure hope it gets better.

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