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How to work with me

davidbauer.ch

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Re: How to work with me

#151

Post by wiz21c »

ahultgren wrote: post #113

Hey, David! I'm surprised by how many people seem to be confused or irritated by you sharing this. I'm imagining that some people are hearing a demand that they have to read it, and then they're obliged to do as you prefer. And I also see you replying with a cheerful "Thanks!" to comments which I find myself judging as discompassionate. That inspires me. So I just wanted to say that it seems to me like you really val…

I'm sure note confused. The message is clear: the guy says: you'll work my way. 'cos you see, there are probably as many "user" manual as they are persons. Putting yours forward, full of imperative is exactly the opposite of mine.

If you want to work with me, never, ever, use the imperative, just ask gently and unless what you're asking is dangerous for me, I'll most of the time help you.

I had a boss who told me he was looking for the manual to work with me. He was actually looking for user manual, to use me (in his word it was not "use", it was "I'll help you to get the best of yourself")

Since then, I'll never RTFM again :-)

Re: How to work with me

#152

Post by _moof »

karmelapple wrote: post #136
escapedmoose wrote: post #109

Aside from the reflexive “yikes, dude” that this gives me, I wouldn’t trust the content itself. A manual written by someone who’s worked with you for years would be far more valuable. But my first impression of a person who hands me something like this is going to be “what past interpersonal disasters have you wrought that led you to put time into something like this?” …case in point is a current coworker of mine, wh…

I think there's an important distinction between this and one post the author mentions he was inspired by, the "How to Rands" post [1]. From How to Rands: > The following is a user guide for me and how I work. It captures what you can expect out of the average week working with me, how I like to work, my north star principles, and some of my, uh, nuance. My intent is to accelerate our working relationship with this d…

> I respond poorly to being told what to do (“Rands, do X.”)

This is a joke, right?

Re: How to work with me

#153

Post by vincentmarle »

I have worked with a few of these "readme" managers, and frankly, they are the worst people to deal with :)

I think it's very telling that this person says they're an introvert because people who have a need to write a manual for themselves are likely lacking in people skills (and probably shouldn't be managers).

Re: How to work with me

#155

Post by bavila »

ellen364 wrote: post #123
uniqueuid wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, I got the same feeling - 4/5 of the text is worded as global imperatives, and almost nothing puts his own weaknesses and peculiarities into context. It seems like a contract required before interaction rather than a helpful guide to understanding him. That's one of the reasons I liked "Working with Claire" [1]: It is full of open subjectivity ("I hope", "I believe"), is very clear yet polite ("please ..."). [1]…

“Working with Claire” is an interesting comparison. I’ve been trying to think through why I reacted better to it than the main article. Ultimately, “Working with Claire” seems more aimed at me, the reader / notional employee. E.g. it starts concrete, talking about meetings we’d have together. And it has helpful info about how she tends to work and the kinds of things she might do. In theory, it means I wouldn’t have…

Without even reading any content, I feel there's a marked distinction just in the titles alone.

"Working with Claire" signals: This is an article about what it's like to work with me.

"How to work with me" signals: This is a set of rules I expect to be followed if we are to get along.

I am just immediately rubbed the wrong way by the latter, while I'd be willing to approach the former with an open mind.

Re: How to work with me

#156

Post by Barrera »

I think a lot of the negative reaction to this article comes from the title, which does sound condescending and at least a little odd. Here are some alternative titles that might not get clicks but also won't prompt a visceral reaction:

- On Work

- Some Thoughts on Work

- Thoughts on Collaboration (then take yourself out of it)

Another idea, just expand one of the points into its own document. I found the part on async communication especially interesting because in some ways it goes against a lot of conventional wisdom. Some anecdotes, details, or sociological research on the topic would make a pretty helpful document.

The content is different in spirit from the implication of the title, IMO. A document with this title is an unusual way to begin a collaboration or working relationship. On the other hand, I can see how it would be useful to know what's inside the document.

And it takes guts to write something like this, knowing that everyone who reads it and knows you will be comparing their own mental notes on how you actually work with how you say you work and view yourself.

Re: How to work with me

#157

Post by jdauriemma »

Thanks for sharing this! I'm sure your team will benefit from the clarity with which you outlined your values and working style. Camille Fournier wrote a piece on "manager READMEs" that, if nothing else, is worth considering. I'm less opinionated about the practice, but I definitely am glad I read her article:

https://skamille.medium.com/i-hate-manager-readmes-20a0dd9a7...

Re: How to work with me

#158

Post by drewcoo »

_moof wrote: post #152
karmelapple wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think there's an important distinction between this and one post the author mentions he was inspired by, the "How to Rands" post [1]. From How to Rands: > The following is a user guide for me and how I work. It captures what you can expect out of the average week working with me, how I like to work, my north star principles, and some of my, uh, nuance. My intent is to accelerate our working relationship with this d…

> I respond poorly to being told what to do (“Rands, do X.”) This is a joke, right?

I don't think Rands often tells people what to do. I think he's more likely to nudge.

https://randsinrepose.com/archives/three-superpowers/

Re: How to work with me

#159

Post by jacquesm »

vhiremath4 wrote: post #144
jacquesm wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given that this is a completely different context, one where someone is still outside the org and trying to get your attention to become their advocate it is a totally different vibe from TFA. I don't see how 'humble, hungry and smart' will go together in most applicants, you'll be lucky to have one out of three, extremely happy to get two and all three is usually a question of broken self assessment. Adding 'hungry'…

Thanks for the feedback on humble, hungry, and smart. Tbh I do find that most people at Loom exhibit all 3 of these traits, but I could definitely be totally off due to people likely changing their behavior whenever I'm in a room or having a conversation with them (e.g. people on their best behavior). > As for humility: you will not find it in most sub 40 year olds, they don't know what they don't know yet This is in…

I don't know the other people at Loom, so I'm modeling you after your typical scale-up with talented young people, the likes of which I see every other week or so on average, but it is definitely possible that Loom is in a different order all by itself.

Also, keep in mind that my viewpoint is Euro-centric and that just that alone could easily qualify to make up the difference.

As for terminology, eager might be a better term than hungry.

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