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How to get the most out of your 1:1s

erik.wiffin.com

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Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#151

Post by jrmiii »

terryf wrote: post #138
songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

I will add that these types tend to amass deep expertise in what they do as well, because they're not just "passing through" the responsibilities - it's their craft.

They are incredible teammates and, in my experience, contribute more than "their share" to the mission.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#152

Post by incanus77 »

> At Devetry, we run pretty flat, so I have a lot of direct reports, and we only meet once a month.

Aside from the elsewhere-mentioned “once a month is basically being unmanaged”, the idea that a lot of direct reports is “flat” and not “managers stretched way too thin” is kind of glaring.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#154

Post by fknorangesite »

throwaway889900 wrote: post #153

The problem I have with 1:1s is that I don't trust my manager so I never have them. Previous attempts to get things resolved with management have always gone poorly for me so I don't even bother to try anymore.

This sounds like a problem you have with your manager (probably a justified one!), not with 1:1s.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#155

Post by alligatorplum »

faangiq wrote: post #23

They’re basically kabuki nonsense like most of corporate America. No one benefits but everyone goes through the motions.

I would disagree, but it comes down to what kind of manager you have. I have seen plenty of people here on HN say that their 1:1 are basically just a manager going through the motion but there are still many 1:1 who are highly effective.

1:1s between me and my manager are usually very productive. Our project had non existent tests and through 1:1s I was able to advocate for tests and TDD to my manager. 6 months later our entire team is all-in on TDD. There were other gaps that I noticed on my team too that I would bring up in our 1:1 and we have a discussion about it. Are all my suggestions going to be implemented? No, but it's still worth having a discussion.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#156

Post by avgcorrection »

jghn wrote: post #100
sdevonoes wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, my 1:1s go like that actually. My point is: if you suddenly remove your 1:1s, would the business or you get impacted? In my case the answer is: no. The 1:1s are not terrible nor bad, I just feel that they are just superflous.

As a manager, 1:1s are primarily for you. Not the manager. If you’re getting nothing out of them, suggest changes to cadence and/or frequency. I won’t let my staff ditch them 100% as there’s also a component where I’m using them to spot problems I might not see otherwise. But for the most part, I treat it as their time

This is a recurring problem in hierarchical relationships. The subordinates have a good reason to assume that these tete-a-tetes can be used against them; they are acting in their own rational interest because of the power imbalance. So they hold back and give superficial feedback.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#158

Post by andruby »

XorNot wrote: post #76
hurflmurfl wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I don't have anything work-related to report, there are no concerns on either side, and there are no situational changes, we just chat with my manager for the whole half-hour about various life topics. Sometimes it may bring to memory something related to work, which we can discuss. Sometimes it will be completely unrelated to work for the whole meeting, but I think there is still value in that. It helps us buil…

I hate when this happens. It's been a recent revelation of mine that I'm happiest when my personal business remains personal. I hate having to scrape through my life sanitizing topics into conversational safe spaces just to get paid.

I personally like talking about life-stuff with certain people, but not with all. In practice there's a handful of people where we do share those things, and a bunch where we don't.

And imo that's totally fine.

We usually start 1:1's with a little smalltalk, then list the agenda points that both participants have prepared. We cover those, and if there's time left we either talk about life, freestyle into broad work topics or end the meeting early.

There are times when I feel like a meeting wasn't valuable, but by far most are valuable. Especially in a fully remote team (even pre-covid), it is a moment to talk and get to know one another (again, only if both parties want to)

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#159

Post by alligatorplum »

cebert wrote: post #81

How often do you all have 1:1’s with manager. I’ve been in industry 15+ years and meet with my manager once or maybe twice a month, which seems reasonable. I’m fairly self sufficient and don’t need a lot assistance. Some of my peers at the same company and are also quite experienced have to meet with their manager weekly for 1:1’s. They remark to me that they don’t get a lot of value out of them being that frequent.

My manager technically has a "one on one" (30 mins) meeting every week with me. But the type/purpose of this meeting alternates.

One week its an "Alignment" meeting between me and my manager. This is a time where the manager can talk to me about my current tasks and if I need any assistance from him. We also go over our yearly goals on a regular basis here, just so we can make sure that I am on the right track.

The next week we have our 1:1 meeting. These are lead by me and gives me dedicated time to discuss anything I would like.

What I described above is the only structure to the meetings. If manager doesn't have much to discuss in our alignment meetings he opens the floor for any 1:1 type of discussion and on the flip side, if I wanted to talk about my current blockers during my 1:1 meeting that is also fine.

So to answer your question, our 1:1 are biweekly.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#160

Post by mutatio »

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

Have you considered contracting / consultancy engagements?

I find things like 1:1's infantile / patronising / condescending, I'm sure some employees are convinced about their benefit, however I'm unable to come to that conclusion myself when thinking about it.

For me contracting is a more honest exchange of my time and expertise, for money.

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