I find the gender distribution of kids in my friends circle is lately hugely skewed towards female. Any one else?
Three boys and two girls here.
If you count my brother as friend then it changes to four boys
Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
151–160 of 262 posts
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#152Earlier quoted context omitted.
Every child is a whole new world, a whole new potential, and a whole new problem. 1. My first child couldn't be calmed easily, although I found a song that somehow worked. [0] 2. Second child could be soothed by slowly rubbing from his temple down past his eye to his cheek. 3. Third child hated that, but loved having her forehead rubbed slowly in a horizontal manner. 4. Fourth child just wanted a firm pressure on the…
Yeah, I always find it funny when someone who has themselves only been a parent for 3 months feels they can now dispense sage advice. Sorta like someone going through bootcamp giving advice about programming.
10/12 years in and sometimes I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. One thing I know is that what works for one of my children probably doesn't work for the others let alone for other people's children.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#153Earlier quoted context omitted.
Every child is a whole new world, a whole new potential, and a whole new problem. 1. My first child couldn't be calmed easily, although I found a song that somehow worked. [0] 2. Second child could be soothed by slowly rubbing from his temple down past his eye to his cheek. 3. Third child hated that, but loved having her forehead rubbed slowly in a horizontal manner. 4. Fourth child just wanted a firm pressure on the…
Beautiful advice Edward :)
Thanks mate :) Children are the ultimate expression of "the more I learn, the more I realise how little I know".
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#154Earlier quoted context omitted.
My daughter had 3 different cries that I learned when I was left alone with her for 1 week when she was 3 weeks old. Hungry. Wet. Tired. When I learned these she was easy to take care of. The night terrors tho. That phase is soooo hard. 3 weeks walking up in the middle of the night screaming for no reason. Hours to get her back to sleep. Then just stops…
> 3 weeks walking up in the middle of the night screaming for no reason Only 3 weeks is not so bad. I woke up every three hours for the first 14 months. And then he just started sleeping well. It’s very random.
Our 10 month old son is still waking up every 1-2 hours at night screaming at the top of his lungs, for absolutely no reason at all. Not hungry, no wet nappy, sometimes hugging and talking/singing helps, sometimes it doesn't. Me and my wife are just 100% exhausted and I can't wait for this to end - but at 6 month mark everyone was telling us "oh this will only last another few weeks, don't worry" - it's 4 months later and he still does it. I'm losing hope slowly.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#155I find the gender distribution of kids in my friends circle is lately hugely skewed towards female. Any one else?
All of my friends and ourselves have boys. Random distribution is random.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#156Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…
You're absolutely right. Nevertheless it helps to have a finite list of priorities: If it's not cold,heat,hunger, discomfort,illness,tiredness (in no particular order) it's good to know that you didn't forget anything important and your baby is crying for no reason you are responsible for.
Btw. What the author calls "wicked hour" we used to call "brain pain" - like aching muscles after training, just with the developing brain. One kid wouldn't calm down after being held very tightly for minutes in a dark room and having a screaming tantrum. Once this was over, she was absolutely peaceful again. Other kid didn't need to scream to cope with the day, but had difficulties at the same time of day.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#157Earlier quoted context omitted.
Every child is a whole new world, a whole new potential, and a whole new problem. 1. My first child couldn't be calmed easily, although I found a song that somehow worked. [0] 2. Second child could be soothed by slowly rubbing from his temple down past his eye to his cheek. 3. Third child hated that, but loved having her forehead rubbed slowly in a horizontal manner. 4. Fourth child just wanted a firm pressure on the…
Yeah, I always find it funny when someone who has themselves only been a parent for 3 months feels they can now dispense sage advice. Sorta like someone going through bootcamp giving advice about programming.
The best time to give advice about the first 3 months is when your kids are 3 months old. After that, the kids change and parenting changes too and you're likely to forget what worked at age 3 months. Someone with 10 year old kids has probably forgotten a lot of what they figured out when the kids were babies.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#158I’m somewhat fresh from this so my only advice is: There’s no magic tricks. Try everything. Don’t stop trying things. Something might work for you.
Well, I don't think people need to try every random trick in the hopes that one magically works, but all the basic options, yea, especially holding them against your body. The main aim should be to prevent lifelong emotional damage, not to help the parents get some sleep. Some parents try to train them not to cry by leaving them alone! That apparently even works but it's pretty horrifying since if it's done wrong, it…
Sounds like you have bought into "attachment parenting". There is no real evidence that attachment parenting actually makes a difference.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#159Earlier quoted context omitted.
Well, I don't think people need to try every random trick in the hopes that one magically works, but all the basic options, yea, especially holding them against your body. The main aim should be to prevent lifelong emotional damage, not to help the parents get some sleep. Some parents try to train them not to cry by leaving them alone! That apparently even works but it's pretty horrifying since if it's done wrong, it…
> That apparently even works but it's pretty horrifying since if it's done wrong, it also trains them to be incapable of maintaining secure adult relationships later in life. do you have any data or clinical trials to substantiate this? Seems pretty bold claim.
No, sorry. It's something I read about while researching insecure attachment styles of adults. They attribute it to neglectful or inconsistently caring parenting. Research might be poor quality because it's social science but it's probably there somewhere if you look for it.
Though this isn't convincing, on a common sense level, I imagine if you locked up an adult in solitary confinement every time he expressed some emotion like anger or sadness, you wouldn't be surprised to find that he developed some kind of lasting psychological problems.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#160Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…
My own "technique that always works" (your mileage may vary) was "The hold". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2C8MkY7Co8 In my experience the baby will often resume crying as soon as you stop doing it, but we used this whenever we needed a couple minutes of relief.
We endlessly tried the hold.
Maybe actually worked 75% of situations, but as you said majority of time they would resume when we stopped.
Helps to try quickly distract them in that moment they pause doing the hold, atleast wth my child