yes, you are not alone man... me too, still had family but no friends, but it's okay :)
Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
151–160 of 326 posts
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#152This year, after a tumultuous breakup (that quite literally plunged me into my deepest crisis to day), I’m practicing being alone. Mostly because what lead to said breakup in the first place, was me being a relationship-addict, which at this point in my self-awareness journey I understand to be a transgenerational issue. Thus being with family does not help at all (even though I did my fair share of being with them y…
I went through a breakup this year, which was (objectively looking) not too bad, because we managed to end on good terms, but left me personally very very sad and full of regrets.
I'm also going through therapy right now, and these two things combined made me realise that I'm completely unprepared for being alone and that I very much resent it and think of being alone as a failure.
And while in general I think that it's great and fulfilling to have good relationships with people, in my specific case I think I was similar to you - I have completely linked my personal happiness to being with someone and I paid too much attention to approval from other people. So I think I can partially relate.
Right now I'm trying to find what I actually want from life and learn how to be alone and at peace. And I agree that hiking or simply wandering around the city alone is a great meditative experience that brings me some joy at least.
I just wanted to say that I believe that with time it gets better, and trying to dig up from the lowest points of our lives is a big and rewarding challenge to have. I wish you peace and love; sending virtual hugs. You are not alone.
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#153Earlier quoted context omitted.
Christmas is ancient . As long as there has been winter, people have had a festival during its deepest depths, to remind them that the spring will come.
Much of the Christmas tradition is pagan/roman: https://www.britannica.com/story/why-is-christmas-in-decembe... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia
haha, reminded me of one of the best scenes(IMHO) of BBT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38x6kWB-xD4&ab_channel=JoshG
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#154I ve lost my love and my mental health is deteriorating I really hope things get better
it feels like its getting worse
and its all my fault!!!
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#155Thank you. I just want to add that there's nothing wrong about being alone. You can be happy, and you can have an interesting life, without having to be always in company of other people.
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#156Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.
Stay strong. I don't know your circumstances, but it's never too late to forgive or to ask for forgiveness. It's never too late to accept or redeem yourself.
Merry Christmas, bro/sis.
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#157I think this whole christmas thing makes a lot of people feel alone and depressed. I hate that. Posts like these make me think this even more. I am alone, and I like it. I can play Warzone and code some stuff I wanted to finish. I can do things I like. I know this may sound stupid, but if you feel alone, don't. There is no reason to. It's just a day like many others. There is really nothing to it. And we don't need "…
People can be "alone" but not feel "lonely".
But you can definitely still feel "lonely" both while being alone and around others
I think this post addresses the feeling of loneliness rather than any specific alone/not alone situation. And feelings are really hard to get rid of, so it's not actually that easy to just "not feel" something.
Feelings like this should be analysed, understood and maybe slowly accepted as part of life, and then people usually can find some kind of peace and happiness.
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#158Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hang in there! I also had a dark period some years back. Such things can sure mess with your ego and make you feel like a loser. On the other hand, when you hit rock bottom, there is not much left to lose. You can start building up your life again the way you want.
If you're nobody, you can be anything you want to.
You aren’t nobody! Randos on Hacker News love you!
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#159There are also those who have lost many loved ones...
For those, Christmas is a mix of happiness and sadness. Happiness if there is someone left with who to share our life with, sadness for missing those who left...
You're not alone either!
Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas
#160We're actually running a virtual party right now for people who happen to be in front of their screens this xmas. Feel free to join, say hi and have a coffee with us! - https://flat.social/f/hn-virtual-xmas