151–160 of 817 posts
> I knew I was the only poor person at my tech startup because I had gotten married younger than any of my coworkers.
Do I understand correctly it means they got married in order to lower the cost of life rather than wait for the person they would truly love?
Pay attention to those last three words. This is very important. I've been on both sides too, and to me those words are like a slap in the face: stark reality.
If you're poor enough (relative to the costs of your life) you are at a constant exhausting deficit because you CANNOT stop calculating and recalculating the mechanisms of your basic survival. Even if you're not juggling bills and having to gauge what will blow up worst, you're projecting worst-case scenarios and trying to plan against adverse situations, which will come up more often for you (example: old car problems)
"which never stop"
Consider those words seriously. You can improve the quality and performance of a person a great deal by allowing them to function as they 'normally' would, rather than in constant emergency mode.
To me, this reads more as a list of "from outside the valley bubble" signifiers than it does as a list of things that people who've grown up in poverty might do, even if the former was a result of the latter. There are some exceptions - not noticing missed paychecks is the biggest - but most of it is just stuff that happens every day in other offices. Making your lunch at the office and not bringing Advil from home?…
"Making your lunch at the office and not bringing Advil from home? I know generationally wealthy investment bankers who do these things" Generally they don't like to waste money. That's part of how they stay rich for generations (as opposed to someone who hits the lottery and the next generation is basically back to where they started in many cases).
This post is accurate in that it chronicles their feelings, and feelings happen regardless of external factors, there's not a whole lot correctness one needs to ask for. I applaud the author for their bluntness in communicating how these interactions made them feel. No need for them to alter their tone to come across differently, it's their blog, not mine. I have to manage an international team of very diverse backgrounds. This post is a great reminder that even those small interactions can contribute to someone belonging. And I've noticed that belonging directly correlates to software velocity.
To me the takeaway is not that any of other people in these scenarios needs to change or correct behavior, but that as a manager if you're aware of an employee coming from a different background, you should make efforts in 1:1's to ensure they're feeling like they belong. Also shame on their hiring manager for letting them come on at such a low salary compared to others. Where's that peron's sense of human solidarity? If someone comes on to my team in a role, they are paid commensurate with others. If I'm worried about their performance they come in at the role that we both agree is suitable, and at all times there's honesty and transparency in what we feel works. Any hiring manager or company trying to "get a deal" on an employee has no business managing.
Some interesting culture differences in there. For example, one of the reasons that soccer/football is popular worldwide is because it's very cheap. Is it not so in the US? Also the assumption that everyone takes painkillers?
Can someone explain the Advil argument?
The phrasing was a bit complicated. She realized, she was the only one taking Advil and it was never refilled because only she took from it and she did not empty it.