U.S. alcohol-related deaths have doubled, study says

I suspect you're getting downvoted because, while you might be correct, nothing in the article supports this, and it could therefore be considered off topic.

I'm not at all trying to lessen all the stories of alcoholism in the thread. I know everyone's experience is different, and addiction and alcoholism are genuine diseases that become incredibly physiologically difficult to overcome.

But I find it a complicated topic. I've had so many great times drinking - sitting around with friends, late into the night, making real connections, debating things, laughing, and not being in a rush to check my phone or go somewhere else.

Yes you can do this stuff without drinking, and we should probably make more of an effort to as a society just to be more inclusive of those who don't drink. But in my own experience and own social circles, these kinds of interactions seems to happen less or at least in different ways without drinking. When I've hung out with groups of friends that don't drink, maybe they'll play a board game, or have a bbq, usually something that's a bit more of an activity than just sitting there doing nothing. And then when the activity's over people leave. There's something kind of unique about sitting around drinking, it can bring such an intense emphasis on the act of just being present and connecting with the people you're with.

Another aspect is always having somewhere to go. If you're out in a big city with friends there's basically a limitless number of bars you can go to, with fun and inspiring ambiances. I don't think there's really any equivalent without drinking. You can go out to eat but it only lasts an hour or two. Go to coffee shops, but they close at 9 or 10pm.

Obviously you can always do all of this stuff and be the person in the group who's not drinking, and that's totally cool. But once nobody in the group is drinking, the dynamic is a little different. And it's frowned upon to go to a bar with a group and not buy any drinks.

Anyway, not sure what my point is. I still drink regularly, though now I try to limit it to 2-3 drinks at a time and only 1 or 2 days a week. I don't think I have a problem with alcohol, but of course the confusing part about it all is that's exactly what someone who has a problem with alcohol would say. Maybe I should stop drinking just to be safe. But in the right circumstances, having a few drinks can really be a beautiful way to connect with your fellow human beings, and one that I've gotten a lot of genuine enjoyment out of over the years.

It seems very difficult to get reliable information about what constitutes problem drinking.

I think the best answer might be “if it’s interfering with your life in ways that bother you, you have a problem.”

I am what my doctor would term a “heavy drinker” since I probably average 20 units (10g by weight) per week.

That’s two cocktails, or half a bottle of wine, or three beers, every night.

I would say maybe once every two months I will have an additional drink, so I am very consistent at that level. The last time I recall being drunk is probably 18 years ago. I’ve never enjoyed having an excess of alcohol in my system.

Some doctors respond to this level of drinking with shock and horror. Others act as if it’s slightly too much and suggest maybe two nights a week without drinking would solve the problem. Others seem to think that problem drinking is when you get most of your calories from alcohol. I literally had a doctor tell me that this is the definition of alcoholism, and that it always goes hand-in-hand with malnutrition.

The only thing I am certain about from what I have read is that the healthiest quantity of alcohol you can drink is zero. That’s right. The studies that say one glass a wine a day improves your health and longevity - well, they all seem to be flawed in one way or another.

Here’s the thing - I really don’t like feeling very tipsy - that’s why it’s so rare I have more than two cocktails. What I do like is the taste. Of beer, wine, cocktails, straight whisky. I only drink when I eat, and I find it hard to eat dinner without a drink because I like the bitter or sweet taste of the alcohol with the food.

If I need to stop for some reason, eg because of oral surgery, etc, I don’t find it difficult.

But I still wonder whether I am slowly pickling my liver and just need to cut back.

Can anyone relate?

As someone that's tried aa meetings and found sobriety through other means I want to echo that finding people with your story and your struggles is one of the keys to recovery. I didn't find these people in the aa meetings I went. Or on therapists couches. I still haven't really found my people, but I have found that I'm not alone in my struggles and that I cannot escape through substance abuse. This was my turning point in allowing me to reign in my substance use. Did it solve any of the problems I had before? No. But I've got one less problem now.