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Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

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Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it really interesting that psychedelic drug users frame their experiences in Freudian terms, using terms like 'ego' and its struggle against other entities within the mind.

What's so really interesting about it? Well, what other term would be so readily understood by people? Also, I guess with LSD/mushrooms there's usually a lot going on , and you can either go with it or try to resist. Going with it is advisable, but it can get scary - e.g. horrific death/maggot/slime-based imagery. You have to trust in the experience, which is so huge the self disappears. I guess a similar thing happe…

>what other term would be so readily understood by people?

Exactly the right question. Language is clumsy and imperfect. For many hard science topics and simple descriptions, it is precise. But for everything else, prominent thinkers among us have built a collective mythos as a society constructed of these abstractions and models. We can only use the models that others have ready access to, being participants in society, even if they are imperfect to describe the phenomenon, to communicate effectively. To take it ad absurdum, we can say that reinventing a whole new language for each conversation partner based on the most efficient way to transmit concepts would just be too clumsy for timescales on which humans operate.

> quickly learnt just to be a tool for the music

Case in point: this is a meme that recurs when talking about creative pursuits, and it's a useful and succinct way to think about and discuss this phenomenon. It's clear though that there are powerful mental processes that simply never bubble up to the level of conscious awareness, because to allow such would slow down the process too much to be useful. The artist acts as if "my mind is empty" even though the most important word is not "empty" but rather "my": that is, the ego sees nothing happening and runs on the basis that its experience is truth, when a rational examination disproves that assumption readily.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#152

For me, it was reading “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” — one small part of it especially. Long before Pirsig begins asking fundamental questions like, “What can we know?”, and “What is the meaning of Quality?”, he mentions the seed of his destruction — his realization when studying biochemistry that there were an infinite number of possible theories that he could propose to explain any observation, and th…

“Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

I agree objectivity is difficult if nigh impossible to achieve.

But I'd argue ~80% of the way there is good enough to leave an impact- take your pick of discoveries across the sciences.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#154
post #80

Burning out and quitting my job with no plan. Through word of mouth / networking I got a few consulting gigs and things snowballed and I've been doing that for 18 years. When dealing with short-term clients you learn how to swallow your ego and get things things. While I can guide/direct on the best approach or technology, the final decision isn't always mine, and I morph to the demands of the person signing my check…

This! Except without the burn out, and I'd move "sales" from last to first. Looking back, being more involved in B2B sales (aka straight on the battle lines) has been absolutely instrumental for my growth. There's this stereotype (true for me) that us techies need to get better at listening to people, spotting and reconciling conflicting interests, motives and objections. Finding common grounds. An increase in empath…

I want to try this sometime (working in sales) for the same reason

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#155
post #30

Not 100% convinced about it, but I wanted to say: that I stopped smoking pot. Told myself well in advance that I'd quit 11 months in to my girlfriend's pregnancy (EDIT - obviously the residual effects are still there. I quit 8 months in to her pregnancy. This is what drugs do, kids.) Since then (now almost a year later) my ability to comprehend and concentrate on technical things has improved a lot. I've learn things…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#157

Luck. I was going to reply with a personality trait, but let's be honest, 90%+ of every success story is plain luck.

But the question was about personal growth. Bad luck more usually triggers/catalyzes personal growth, doesn't it? Makes you think, reassess.. So maybe it's luck to have so much bad luck. (Read the stories of the wisest, greatest, most.. personally-grown - the most embiggened - they've had more than their share of bad luck.)

You're suffering from survivorship bias. When you think about "bad luck", you seem to be thinking about minor mishaps (along the lines of "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger"). However, consider the huge number of people which are literally killed by bad luck (along the lines of "being born in a poor country with ongoing civil war/without potable water/without enough food"). Or, less drastically, think about those who are born into relatively poor families, are thus never properly nurtured (because their parents are too busy earning money to feed them etc.) and fail to realize their potential.

For example, going back to the original question, one huge factor of my early personal growth was that I had relatively wealthy and caring parents who could afford to send me to a good school, to music lessons etc., and who pushed me to realize my potential. Being born to such parents is sheer luck. All the other important people that I met in my life, that's luck, too. (At least by Occam's Razor. I obviously cannot know how my life would've looked if I had taken a different path.)

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#158

For me, it was reading “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” — one small part of it especially. Long before Pirsig begins asking fundamental questions like, “What can we know?”, and “What is the meaning of Quality?”, he mentions the seed of his destruction — his realization when studying biochemistry that there were an infinite number of possible theories that he could propose to explain any observation, and th…

This is a silly false dichotomy that many of "zen" teachings keep repeating.

"I want to know the perfect complete truth + human beings can not know perfect complete truth = therefore truth is unknowable and we should give up trying."

This is dumb. Just because you don't get to be perfect, doesn't mean it's pointless to try to do better.

We are all flawed, but we are less flawed than we were 2000 years ago, and that kind of progress is worth striving for, even if we'll never know the ultimate truth.

Also striving to be better and knowing as much of "the truth" as possible is valuable for it's own sake, "gaining stuff" and being "beloved" is not what makes truth worth pursuing.

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#159

Not too long ago, I read a piece indicating that growth is held back by our strengths, not our weaknesses. I have consistently been willing to abandon my strengths and put myself in situations outside my comfort zone. This has been a tremendous source of personal growth. For example, I lived in the same house from age 3 to adulthood. I graduated high school with some of the same people I had gone to kindergarten with…

> Not too long ago, I read a piece indicating that growth is held back by our strengths, not our weaknesses.

Can you share us that article?

Re: Ask HN: What influenced your personal growth the most?

#160

Not too long ago, I read a piece indicating that growth is held back by our strengths, not our weaknesses. I have consistently been willing to abandon my strengths and put myself in situations outside my comfort zone. This has been a tremendous source of personal growth. For example, I lived in the same house from age 3 to adulthood. I graduated high school with some of the same people I had gone to kindergarten with…

> Not too long ago, I read a piece indicating that growth is held back by our strengths, not our weaknesses. Can you share us that article?

https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-...

Specifically this section:

https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2010/04/14/the-gervais-principle-...

Your development is arrested by your strengths, not your weaknesses.

Arrested-development behavior is caused by a strength-based addiction

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