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My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

themission.co

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Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#151

Post by morgtheborg »

swiley wrote: post #39
_m8fo wrote: post #36

From my friend group there are two types of individuals: 1. Individuals who date many people, breaking up if they find something non-optimal. These include minor things like, not cleaning up on occasion, or not liking something you do. 2. Someone who dates very few (1-3) individuals, sticking with them until a serious, fatal flaw appears, like being racist or physically harming others, etc. If you define a successful…

Group 1 is mostly women and group 2 is mostly men. At least in my experience.

Not in my experience.

Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#152

Post by joshschreuder »

45h34jh53k4j wrote: post #40

I find this creepy and weird. How could you possibly tell the love of your life (if and when you found that person) that they were nothing more than a toy in your little data harvesting exercise.

Glad I'm not the only one... I mean I get the 'hacker' appeal of this, and why it's on HN, but at the same time it's so impersonal and weird to message that many people.

I can't see how almost all of the HUMAN BEINGS on the other end wouldn't find their treatment in this exercise at least a little bit disturbing.

Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#153

Post by notyourday »

He was solving a wrong problem using a wrong set of tools. He clearly stated that what he wanted was a walking womb however what he offered in his profile was something else. No engineering optimization would make someone who wants a steak happy in a place offering omakase.

Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#154

Post by dlevine »

jeffwass wrote: post #52

>"I became an online dating magician who knew how to optimize a profile — A/B testing pictures and message. If I changed my profile picture and got more “likes” as a result, that meant it was better. I was tracking data, which made it easy to see what performed best. >This one worked, probably because it hides the bulging stomach and the balding head." No, your A/B test doesn't mean it's 'better', unless you're count…

+1 million

I've done a lot of dating over the years, and have discovered that the most important thing is finding someone who likes me for who I am. At various points I went on so many dates that I worried that the right person wasn't out there, or that maybe I was meeting her and not knowing it.

The truth is that it's hard to find someone who is a good match, especially by the time you get into your 30s and have a fair bit of life experience. If you meet your partner at 30 vs 20, you have lived 50% longer and had a lot more experiences that have shaped your preferences.

But it definitely can be done. I've noticed that a fair number of people who were perpetually single eventually met the right person and settled down in their 30s or even 40s (I just went to the wedding of a friend who is in his mid-40s).

Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#157

Post by streetdrag »

Here in Paris, many people in their thirties are single like me, and many are on dating sites. I had a lot of dates on a french site called adoptecunmec unlike Tinder. After manual experiences, I started a script which notified me when new girls registered on the website, so I could message them before their inbox would be full. A lot of them were closing their account because of the insane number of lame messages.

I didn't finish this script because I decided to stop all these dating sites and focused on street drag. After work, I visit Paris (which I still don't know well) and talk to girls, as many as I can.

It's successful. I don't have this disapppointment on dates like you have with online dating, people don't cheat with their pictures. Of course, you take rakes, you get phone numbers and girls won't respond to you, but at least they won't next you as fast as online dating people do. Some figures: I would go out for 2 hours and get 2-3 phone numbers, thanks to weeks of practice.

Please stop online dating and get out, you'll get a pleasant time and this will be much less time-consuming.

PS:

- advices on street drag https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/top/

- this youtube guy helped me a lot https://youtu.be/DTDrnasfg_g?t=330

Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#158

Post by belorn »

Jarwain wrote: post #71
belorn wrote: post #42

Interesting article, but in the context of serious process and scientific methods, the rape statistics quoted in the article is the exact opposite. The "1 in 5 US women is estimated to be raped before age 25" comes from a single study where they did a voluntary survey in one US university campus. It reflecting of the set of students during that year on that campus that decided to answer that survey. The national aver…

Not entirely true, from what I understand. The statistic has been replicated in polls and surveys across various college campuses. The OP's representation, and yours, is a little clunky but makes rational sense to me. His quote is "1 in 5 US women are estimated to be raped before the age of 25". This statistic is based on surveys conducted by the graduates of various colleges and universities. My understanding of the…

The Campus Climate Survey Validation Study has on page 18 a summery of the result for undergraduate females during 2014-2015 in the 9 schools:

Estimated sexual assault: Averaged 10.3%, and ranged from 4.2% at School 2 to 20.0% at School 1.

Estimated sexual battery: Average 5.6% , and ranged from 1.7% at School 2 to 13.2% at School 1.

Estimated rape: Average 4.1%, and ranged from 2.2% at School 9 to 7.9% at School 5.

Across the nine participating schools, 4.3% of sexual battery incidents and 12.5% of rape incidents were reported by the victim to any official.

So according to it, the average rape on those 9 schools were 4.1%, but only 0.5% were reported. If we accept those numbers (54% response rate, common location and (likely) background, generational age), we have that out of 150 women that this article talk about, 6 women is estimated to have been raped, in contrast to the initial assertion of 30. The "1 in 5" study was a good signal that further studies was needed. The CCSVS can be seen as a good start of such further studies. The range difference of 400% between school 9 and 5 do say that we need to be careful and bigger studies/meta studies is needed to remove outlines and get averages and median value. In the mean time I suggest the nice and round number 5%, or if the assume that the above numbers are exclusive (uncertain if thats true), 20% that a undergraduate will be victim of some form of sexual misconduct.

Re: My Failed Attempt at Engineering Love

#159

Post by dwaltrip »

mattnewport wrote: post #67
dwaltrip wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unless the majority of people you know are gay, that isn't possible. For each hetero man you know following strategy 2, by definition, there is a corresponding woman (his partner). And vice versa with the women who are using strategy 1.

Not true. It's perfectly possible you have a scenario where for example the top 10% of men date 100s of women, the bottom 50% date 3 or fewer women and women have a much more even distribution and date an average much higher than 3. These numbers are just an example but in reality I think something a bit like this situation does actually exist.

Sorry, forgot about this post. It seems you are likely right... (my brain is feeling a bit foggy on this one right now). I can see what sort of asymmetric distribution you are talking about. This must have been studied at some point -- it would be interesting to see some hard numbers.

Anyways, thanks for the correction.

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