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What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

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Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#141

Post by mseebach »

jlgaddis wrote: post #138
weland wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment ! OP isn't stupid. He has no problem comprehending the wrath of your imaginary friend, nor the imaginary nature of the aforementioned wrath. He lost a dear friend and mentor. The one who has trouble understanding reality is you.

A few months ago, I was on the losing end of a head-on motorcycle versus Jeep Cherokee crash and spent several days in the hospital. I had some pretty severe injuries but somehow managed to not smash my head in -- I don't wear a helmet and, although I had several broken bones, I somehow escaped with only had a few cuts and scrapes to my head. Several of the doctors and nurses said (words to the effect of) "someone up…

> "Oh!? Well why the fk wasn't he looking out for me a few seconds earlier? He could have stopped that Jeep from turning in front of me -- but he didn't, did he? Get out of here with your religious bullsh*t!"

So supposedly you were the rational party to the exchange, yet you failed to see that people (although you don't share their exact worldview) were just trying to be nice and went full-on asshole in return. No wonder the word spread quickly.

I'm not religious, but I have enough empathy to understand that when someone says "god bless" or similar, it's meant sincerely, and I care much more about a world in which strangers are sincere to each other than one where everybody understands there is no god.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#142

Post by theorique »

ekianjo wrote: post #49
theorique wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Japan it happens so often they have their own word for it: karoshi . Sararimen fall over dead at their desks, and others simply avert their eyes and focus on their work while a manager urgently calls for white-gloved personnel to spirit the corpse away to the undertaker. Nobody even misses a beat. The work must go on.

What the hell are you talking about? People don't die from work exhaustion at their desks in Japan. I live in Japan and I've never even remotely heard of anything like that through my years here. And Karoshi is not even used the way you pretend it's used. You obviously have no idea what you are talking about.

Artistic license. I read the word karoshi years ago in some panicked news article in the USA.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#143

Post by theorique »

aaron695 wrote: post #106

I'm assuming this story is a Facebook generation thing. Not sure if it's a disassociation of the difference between/loss of real friendships and acquaintances or perhaps the constant need to get attention which people are starting to use the death of others to get (amongst other things) I can't tell if this story is true or not, it's certainly well written and of literary value. But it is not normal to light candles,…

But it is not normal to light candles, create movies and put people who have passed away's photos up in the workplace.

Not normal for whom? It seems like a respectful thing to do.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#144

Post by theorique »

scrrr wrote: post #98

Two friends died when I was a student. A guy from the company I was working at died on the Air France flight from Brazil. They were all very young. It's entirely possible this happens to other people I know, or to me. FWIW, I think it's good and healthy to think about death, perhaps even to think about it often. There used to be a time when people put skulls on their desks to be reminded.

There used to be a time when people put skulls on their desks to be reminded.

Now we have twitter accounts for that https://twitter.com/mementomorrow

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#145

Post by theorique »

pgrote wrote: post #4

Great writing. I worked with a business analyst once who dropped off his laptop for me to take a look at on a Friday afternoon. Odd, because we did regularly scheduled maintenance and he brought his external monitor in. On Monday morning his mother called to report he had killed himself. It was so abrupt and took the group by surprise. I do remember thinking that it would change everything. Life went on, though.

What happened to the laptop?

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#146

Post by ansimionescu »

weland wrote: post #116
jigneshg wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hi Steven, Sorry to hear your horrible experience loosing good friend and after reading your reply, i feel that the person like him did not deserve such death :( Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment !

> Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment ! OP isn't stupid. He has no problem comprehending the wrath of your imaginary friend, nor the imaginary nature of the aforementioned wrath. He lost a dear friend and mentor. The one who has trouble understanding reality is you.

Bashing someone for their religious beliefs. Really enlightened behaviour, right there.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#147

Post by ramblerman »

ansimionescu wrote: post #146
weland wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Sometime it is very difficult for human to understand GOD and his punishment ! OP isn't stupid. He has no problem comprehending the wrath of your imaginary friend, nor the imaginary nature of the aforementioned wrath. He lost a dear friend and mentor. The one who has trouble understanding reality is you.

Bashing someone for their religious beliefs. Really enlightened behaviour, right there.

preying on grieving people with your religious beliefs is worse.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#148

Post by mistercow »

judk wrote: post #68
kabdib wrote: post #60

When we were doing the Apple Newton, Ko Isono (who was working on the tablet sensor code) committed suicide. Our manager got us into a common area, then told us the news. We were pretty shocked. Many of us went to the funeral in the east bay. I remember it was very cold and rainy, and that I didn't mind. We put Ko's name in the "About Newton" page. Nobody in management objected to that.

I wonder if we'd have fewer suicides if we publicly acknowledged the contributions of people before they died.

The factors that lead to suicide are generally a lot more complicated than that. If you get to really know someone who is suicidal, you'll realize that there doesn't tend to be all that much connection between reality and the urge to kill oneself.

If we want to reduce the number of suicides, we need to do a much better job at addressing of mental illness. Anything else is just window dressing.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#149

Post by zacinbusiness »

I've not had a coworker die but I've experienced immediate family loss (my mother when I was 10) and I know that being around things that reminds you of that person can be very difficult. I chose to move away (obviously not when I was 10, but as soon as I was 17 I moved a few towns over, now I live at the other end of the state, and as soon as possible I'll be leaving the country, but it seems that sometimes you can never go far enough).

It's interesting though, the way a conversation like this will turn in a community like HN. It goes into religion, but sort of the opposite of how it turns out in RL (or at least here in the bible belt of the U.S.) - most people will say "I'm praying for you and your family." and it's usually received with a "thank you" or similar, here on HN though (and in a lot of communities, such as at a university) these sorts of comments will be met with anger that someone believes something differently.

Personally, I've never had much use for religion. Most of my family is highly religious, and it's never seemed to do them much good though it does help them cope when bad things happen. And that's where I see the value in it. I know it's unhealthy to try to runaway from past pain, but that's how I cope. And when my family says things like "Well, God works in mysterious ways." I know that they are just trying to cope as well, and I have no right to judge them for that.

Empathy is a very important thing, I think, and people who get all defensive when religion comes up should take a step back and think about their own beliefs. The majority of these people (myself included) will talk about science, how we believe in things we can prove. But the simple fact is that isn't really true, is it? I believe, for instance, in the speed of light, and that highly gravitational objects can bend light and even space itself. However, I personally have not measured light or the effect that gravity has on it. I've read papers about it, and I've watched documentaries. But it's still just faith.

Re: What Happens When One of Your Coworkers Dies

#150

Post by mpclark »

I was at a start-up that was essentially a bunch of young lads who had all been close friends since school. Without going into too much detail or focussing on the human tragedy, one of us died in an accident and, looking back, I think it really delayed the growth and progress of the company by a year (or maybe two) while everyone came to terms with loss, death and their place in the universe.

I think the company was quite lucky to get through the experience intact, and it was probably only the presence of a couple of older, more detached execs that made that happen.

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