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Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

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Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#141

Post by [deleted] »

_pius wrote: post #125
banned_man wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Asking "aren't women allowed to prefer an alpha male without being accused of wanting to be degraded?" is like "aren't red octagons allowed to have 'STOP' written on them without being accused of being stop signs?" No one is accusing anything. You don't see the red sign and "accuse" it of being a stop sign. You realize immediately that it is a stop sign (pattern recognition) and behave accordingly. Behaving according…

I wonder if we're using the same phrase but meaning two different things. If what you're calling an "alpha male" is a domineering asshole, I actually agree with you 100%. There are definitely dysfunctional women who like that kind of guy and I've learned to steer clear. If we're talking about "alpha male" in the evolutionary psychology sense (i.e. conveying confidence, virility, and leadership), though, I think you'r…

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Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#142

Post by ajuc »

I've always been shy and had troubles with relations with other people. I've met my wife by chance, and it was miracle that she didn't put me down when I've told her repeatedly "I'm so boring, really, let's speak about you" on our first "date" :).

I was expecting women will appreciate that I'm so humble etc. It turns out they just thought I'm really boring, if I say so myself. So this is lesson number one - don't assume women will appreciate that you are humble.

Still - my wife somewhat endured my "I'm so humble and nice etc" talk, and we're married now, so there is a chance to everybody :)

So - lesson number 2 is - when you meet right kind of person at right moment in life, it is really difficult to screw things up. So be yourself and don't worry - your time will come.

Just remember to be open to new people and new experiences.

PS when you are shy it helps a lot when you think about everything you do in terms of "what would be the worst outcome of this if I screw up?" It is often the case that the worst outcome is exactly the same that if you don't do anything. So expected value is higher than 0 :). For me it helped a lot.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#144

Post by pavel_lishin »

ajuc wrote: post #142

I've always been shy and had troubles with relations with other people. I've met my wife by chance, and it was miracle that she didn't put me down when I've told her repeatedly "I'm so boring, really, let's speak about you" on our first "date" :). I was expecting women will appreciate that I'm so humble etc. It turns out they just thought I'm really boring, if I say so myself. So this is lesson number one - don't ass…

when you are shy it helps a lot when you think about everything you do in terms of "what would be the worst outcome of this if I screw up?"

Sounds like a quick trip to panic attack city.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#145

Post by pavel_lishin »

bokonist wrote: post #130
HSO wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This "leader of the pack" thing is overrated IMO. Being the leader of a bunch of boisterous pussymen doesn't make you attractive, quite the opposite. Depending on the environment, you may appear more attractive being the strong, silent type minding his own business.

I agree, my use of the term "leader of the pack" was imprecise. Women are attracted to a mix of strength, status, command, and dominance. If you are a leader of a low-status pack, or a pack that appears desperate and trying to hard, it's not going to help you very much.

"Alpha Male" would be a better term. It doesn't imply that you should be constantly trailed by a bunch of frat breauxs, but it does mean that you're capable of leadership.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#147

Post by pavel_lishin »

Tsagadai wrote: post #78
nopassrecover wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd imagine there's probably a completely different set of rules for homosexual attraction though.

There are actually no rules for homosexual or heterosexual attraction. People are far too complex for that sort of categorisation.

And global weather patterns are too complex to predict.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#148

Post by c00p3r »

davidw wrote: post #80

One thing that helped me a lot: investing some money in some salsa dancing lessons. First of all, I actually enjoy it, it's fun (if you don't like it you wont' get far). Second, it's sort of cool, compared to, say, talking about startups and computers with someone who is potentially not interested in either one. Also, it's something where practice does pay off, and where you can't fake it, so investing some time will…

YES! Dancing lessons and vocal training! Your movement and your tone of voice is the most inportant parts of your nonverbal language! Each thing alone could be very useful. Take a look at those ballet boys! Even heir casual movements is an artisty, like movements of beast. The voice has an enormous power when developed well. You know all those famous BBC announcers, and of course, famous singers. But together it will be stunning. And of course, such experience will add +1000 to your self-confidence! Practice is the best teacher!

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#149

Post by c00p3r »

Rod wrote: post #20
vaksel wrote: post #4

simply earn a ton of money, and your prospects to get laid will suddenly increase

That's a loser's game. Sure, a ton of money will get you laid... with precisely the kind of women one should avoid in the first place. Money does not increase one's attractiveness per se , it only attracts scavengers commonly known as gold-diggers. Better use the money to improve oneself...

Money without intelligence is a much worse problem than poverty! You should use your money smart way.

First of all, distrust all claims like 'money is not everything'. Without money you simply cannot stay physically attractive. You need fresh, organic, mostly veg. food, because a healthy diet is the most important part of your nonverbal value. The skin, the hair, even the teeth - they all depends of food. Then banal clothes. They must be clean, they must be of appropriate size, they must be new. They could be not expensive, but new. Then body. You must look young even if you not. So, fitness is the must. Without fitness it is almost impossible to attract people who are younger than you. That is obvious - everyone can see anything. Swimming (look at the bodies of professional swimmers) running, biking, rollerblading, and as mentioned above - active dancing.

So, fresh, organic food, dress code (I'm personally trying to follow anime-inspired style. I love that feeling) and serious training of the body - all these tasks requires great amount of money.

I didn't mention so-called verbal part which is the second side of the coin. In simple words - you must be selfless, interesting, useful - which requires even more effort and daily practice than all these physical activities described above. You need great deal of time, which is money.

So, if you do not have enough money, invest your time in seeking for knowledge and, as result, money. Girls then will find you themselves.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#150

Post by mojuba »

By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect.

Dear Nature, I would like to eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect by virtue or vice of me being smart. Thank you.

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