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Overcoming the friendship recession

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Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#141

Post by tkfoss »

dingaling wrote: post #65
tkfoss wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the past 3 years I got married and got a kid. Both mine and my wifes social situation went 180, and now we are one of those couples you saw in the park. The kids and kid problems become new shared interest, you meet bunch of people, with similar shared experience, and you end up connecting on other fronts as well. eg - I m in high rise, parking next to an interesting winter beater every day for 2 years, and now I…

You are very fortunate. When I took a career break to become daddy-day-care for our child I went to "Parents & Toddlers" groups and found them unwelcoming and suspicious. Going back to work was a relief, because I was able to actually talk to adults without feeling that they were judging my reasons for being there.

I m 6'4", bearded, and as my wife says, with "constant bitter brooding face" - most people in every day life are unwelcoming and suspicious towards me xd, and while having very cute daughter for sure helps immensely, just interacting with kiddos the right way ultimately lowers peoples guard, and even if kiddos are not around, you have to win over the trust & respect. To some it comes easy, others have to work for it, but it does get better, and you build the social circle. Don't get left out over initial resistance! Bring your kiddo and bring extra snacks

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#142

Post by unsupp0rted »

germinalphrase wrote: post #7

I would strongly encourage everyone to choose two or three friends and say “hey - I want to chat with you, but it’s hard to schedule calls. I’m just going to try calling you sometime when I have a few minutes free. If you can talk, great! If you can’t, no sweat. Sound OK?” I lowered the stakes for calling/answering/not answering, and I actually catch up with my friends more often.

I hate this. Yes: I want to talk to you. No: I don't want it to interrupt me and I don't want to miss the chance to talk to you either. So it's lose-lose for me.

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#143

Post by unsupp0rted »

lp4v4n wrote: post #47

Society is getting materialistic and cynical to toxic levels as the standards of living and the perspective of future further deteriorate. People feel overworked, tired and out of money. This general malaise spills on almost every type of social interaction, including friendships unfortunately.

Society has never been less materialistic and cynical than it is today

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#145

Post by ThePowerOfFuet »

billfor wrote: post #99
sph wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you ever seen those videos filming London streets in the 1970s? They are absolutely packed with groups of two or three people, not going places, but just standing there, chatting, as if they have nowhere else to be. It is something most of us have never experienced in any form and the change has happened over long enough timescales that we are used to our streets of strangers just going about their lives, the ex…

[flagged]

What fucking racist shit is this?!

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#146

Post by AuthAuth »

everdrive wrote: post #90
Zealotux wrote: post #25

I live in Barcelona, and during last year’s blackout I wandered through the city. As I passed by the Baix Guinardó gardens, I came across something that felt like a "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" brought to life: the park was full of families socialising the old way, children running everywhere, the whole place buzzing with chatter and energy. Later that day, walking home through darkened stree…

>but I went to sleep that night wondering how on earth we get ourselves out of this. I'm sure HN will suggest another layer of technology will fix all of this.

OpenClaw in the park

Parks as a service

An app that simulates being in a park around other humans.

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#147

Post by righthand »

drzaiusx11 wrote: post #124
righthand wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ridiculous how that ticked up in frequency (at least for me) after the last Potus election.

Bill 936 which would have required 1:1 expressly written consent to call was struck down in the 11th circuit court of appeals right before it was set to go into effect in Jan 2025 [1]. Trump flipped the 11th circuit by making a number of judge appointments in Jan 2020 [2]. As you correctly guessed, these two things are not unrelated. 1. https://www.consumerfinancialserviceslawmonitor.com/2025/09/... 2. https://www.wi…

Thank you! I knew it was connected some how. Too coincidental to happen as soon as he was in office again.

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#148

Post by [deleted] »

bluefirebrand wrote: post #74
germinalphrase wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My perspective is very simple: our homes are simply a lot more comfortable than they used to be. We have better heating/air conditioning, endless television/video games/entertainment, large refrigerators, lower density, etc and so on. Back then, home covered a narrower set of needs - so the default option was to spend time elsewhere, even if it was just to escape the noise/heat/smells/smoke of home for a minute.

> our homes are simply a lot more comfortable than they used to be. Yes. And public spaces are significantly less comfortable (and more expensive) than they used to be

[deleted]

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#149

Post by baby »

ikr678 wrote: post #119
majora2007 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

idk about a house party once a week, but I do like the idea of having my friends invite their other friends. As I age, it becomes harder to find new friends just by happenstance. Friends of Friends usually end up becoming friends after meeting them.

It doesn't have to be a whole-ass house party, but a good low effort method is picking a tv series, putting out some snacks and watching an episode at the same time every week with an open door policy.

Or choose a bar, or a park, etc.

Re: Overcoming the friendship recession

#150

Post by HK-NC »

nharada wrote: post #38
obscurette wrote: post #19

Yes, managing relationships needs time, but there is another problem I see nowadays. When I was young (I'm in my sixties), it was normal to have friends who could be very different from you. They might have had qualities you didn't like at all, but you could still be very good friends. If I look my students (highschool and college level) now, they are extremely intolerant for differences compared to what I remember f…

I’m curious if you think viewpoints have also gotten more extreme in this period. It feels like the gap in political ideologies has widened a lot since I was younger.

In my twenties my friend group had a gay jewish law student and an actual nazi, and everything in between. We all had the same sense of humour and didnt take ourselves seriously. The two guys specified would have deep and long conversations (not debates, not arguments) intonthe early hours while the rest of us fell asleep or left due to next day obligations. The only controversy I recall was when I said Conan the Barbarian is better than Lord of the Rings.
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