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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#141

Post by FerretFred »

"So, I took long walks with my dog.

What used to feel like 10 minutes between breakfast and lunch while working became a full-blown day. Even though I was spending two hours walking my dog instead of a 30-40 minute rush, it felt like an eternity"

My dog has a way of slowing down time, although he won't tell me how. I think as humans we know what we expect from this other species, but they have a way of reorganizing the walk to suit themselves. I do it largely to bond with my best bud and get some exercise. He on the other hand goes out to catch up on doggy social media, with endless sniffing and donating further smells. Every walk is different - the route's the same but the sensory part is constantly changing. All this takes place, silently. We go back home satisfied but I know my boi gets the most satisfaction from it!

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#142

Post by doublerabbit »

moooo99 wrote: post #25
delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

If QR codes for menus just ask at the counter.

Ours do the same but I just ask and are normally happy to talk. Personally I think the staff enjoy it as they get a few minutes of talk time rather than rush rush next order.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#143

Post by et-al »

unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

> Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly.

Some of the negativity is because many people out there were used to this slower way of living only for capitalist techbros to optimize every waking moment everything and hasten the rat race.

So now the only people who can sit idly at a cafe would be those who've already have a few million in the bank. It's similar to the CEO goes to a yoga retreat in Bali (or Burning Man) trope to rediscover being part of society.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#145

Post by dahart »

gniv wrote: post #130
munificent wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> americanos are not an American thing Certainly every coffeeshop here in Seattle has them and and I expect most do elsewhere too. Espresso has taken over coffeeshops such that some won't also have drip coffee anymore and if that's what you want, an Americano is approximately how to get it.

I stand corrected then. I don't remember seeing them the last time I was there 4+ years ago.

I’ve been ordering Americanos for 20 years. Espresso drinks became a very common thing around the time when Starbucks took off in the 90s. But it does depend on where you go. Diners and gas stations and some kinds of cafes and restaurants (especially in small towns) often only had drip coffee until recently, but these days you can get an Americano in many gas stations too. Cafes with baristas making espresso drinks is the norm in big cities and has been for some time.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#146

Post by zwnow »

et-al wrote: post #143
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

> Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Some of the negativity is because many people out there were used to this slower way of living only for capitalist techbros to optimize every waking moment everything and hasten the rat race. So now the only people who can sit idly at a cafe would be those who've already have a few million in the bank. It'…

I have 500€ in my bank account, 3k debt and 30 years of work left ahead of me and I take a lot of idle time in cafes or trains or the park. I don't see the issue.

The sooner one realizes that working hard isn't the key to life the sooner one realizes you'll have plenty more time. If you get something out of working hard, like joy, sure go ahead. But dont lie to yourself and think that working hard will actually ever pay off.

I do not earn enough to ever afford a house without going into debt for the rest of my life. As long as I can afford a cheap place, one new book a month and a hot shower in the morning I am content with never owning anything. As thats the world all the "hard working" people shoved us into.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#148

Post by GlacierFox »

VLM wrote: post #46
delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

Its a social class thing. Homeless people sit alone, especially the crazy ones. No brand new iphone or new macbook means poverty which is usually not cool. It blows peoples minds if you read a book. Not a college textbook but something for fun. Homeless people don't read so they get confused. Its like riding the bus. There's nothing wrong with public transit, its just that its somewhere warm for poor homeless people…

What's this hell hole you live in where you can't read a book in a cafe without the world collapsing around you?

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#149

Post by coolThingsFirst »

delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

No, it's a thing everywhere to be honest. People are their with their friends and you are the only one alone.

Without phone it would be too cringe, even with phone its cringe. I behave as if though I'm texting someone. It's the societal weight of being the one who is alone.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#150

Post by ghaff »

dubeye wrote: post #18

I assume there must be a finite amount of anxiety from sole cafe trips. I'm probably an above averagely anxious person, but after a few trips without disaster, it becomes a non issue.

And multiply by dinner eating. Which I have done solo many hundreds of times between business and other travel. Not something I think twice about. In fact, at conferences, I've sometimes been peopled-out by the end of the day and actively avoided going out of my way to setup group dinners unless they came together organically.
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