Things I want to say to my boss • Hacker News Board

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#141

Post by no_wizard » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:14 PM UTC

dragonwriter wrote: post #134

nosianu wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Arguably, AI is largely marketed that way because that's what corporate buyers care about Why "arguably", that is exactly what he wrote

No, he wrote that it was marketed that way because that is what the “AI boom is really about”, in opposition to something else, which I also discuss in the post you excerpted this from. Not sure if you didn’t read the whole post and just kneejerk reacted to the first part of the first sentence out of context, or if you just didn’t understand how it sharply differs from the claims in the post it responds to.

What is it really about, in contrast to what I assert? I'm looking at how its being implemented, talked about, thought about, introduced.

I'm happy to re-evaluate my stance in the light of better evidence, but the AI adoption has corresponded to alot of CEOs announcing layoffs with a simultaneous doubling down on AI tools to replace those now displaced workers or those LinkedIn stories from people saying how they will never have to hire X or Y because AI will do it / does it.

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#142

Post by eleveriven » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:15 PM UTC

reallymental wrote: post #3

I think y'all (i.e. who've contributed anonymously to the article), have taken these words too literally. I think we're finally seeing the culmination of around 15+ years (post '08) of leadership mindset finally reap its rewards. Over the last decade (last 3+ decades realistically, I'm around 35, so that's all my personal anecdotal data goes back to), these "leaders" have all thrown away the facade of "mentorship", "…

But I don't think the people in the article "took things too literally." What they're reacting to isn't abstract geopolitics or macroeconomic trends, it's the lived experience of working under managers who claim to care while acting in ways that make it obvious they don't

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#143

Post by hinkley » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:16 PM UTC

> In the end, good leadership is never proven by what you say about yourself. It’s proven by what people say when you’re not in the room.

> And trust me, they’re talking.

Some of the people I’ve had to railroad into things say stuff like, “well this is the first I’ve heard about it.” That’s a You Problem.

The fact that nobody is discussing this with you should tell you that you’ve been cut out of the loop for being impossible to negotiate with. It’s absence of evidence not evidence of absence.

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#144

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:16 PM UTC

phantasmish wrote: post #19

pwillia7 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder if this is related to the agency problem[1] and the rise of short-sightedness from the ruling class. If you're just trying to make as much money as possible this quarter and have no real care about building long-term value, why wouldn't you put agents in that mercilessly generate money at the expense of things like your brand and people? I also wonder how many of the authors of the piece are at public vs pri…

The Professional Managerial Class (college -> management being the norm) gained a lot of steam in the '80s and had basically taken over the entire economy by the end of the '90s. My dad's career spanned the pre- and post-transition eras, with the latter coming as a very sudden shift due to a large merger. His description of the difference was... not flattering to the modern notion. Way, way more wasted time. Way more…

[deleted]

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#145

Post by procaryote » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:17 PM UTC

fisherjeff wrote: post #104

It's insane to me that this even needs to be written – showing you care is just not that hard! And it absolutely doesn't have to come at the expense of business goals. I've had some amount of success running a startup, and honestly the only thing that reliably paid off was hiring great (i.e., smart, thoughtful, kind) people and treating them like family.

Caring and showing you care can be independent. Some people care and don't show it. Some people don't care but pretend to. If you don't care, showing you care is harder, and your acts might betray your true feelings

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#146

Post by eleveriven » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:17 PM UTC

WhyOhWhyQ wrote: post #38

My 'boss' was an absolute pyschopath who was a direct cause in my, let's just say, poor mental health over a period of years. I'd rather say not say anything to them ever again, but horrible interactions with them replay in my mind constantly. Imagine spending thousands of hours doing your best to make someone happy just to be treated like the worst piece of garbage who ever existed. That's what my 'boss' was like.

I hope you're in a place now where you can start untangling their behavior from your sense of self

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#147

Post by pdimitar » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:17 PM UTC

rkomorn wrote: post #136

pdimitar wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How exactly would empathy be a superpower? If I'm empathetic then I'm effectively making excuses for people who don't care that they make my work unbearable. I'm very interested in your response. I have accepted that I have blind spots and I want to remove them.

Not "OP", but I will say that empathy can certainly help you build better things (tools, processes, policies, etc) for the people they affect. It can also help you understand where coworkers or peers are coming from, and work with them better. The problem comes when it's a one way road where the empathetic person is doing all the work.

That's exactly what happened. I tried improving processes and worked so hard that I neglected my wife.

I was removed because the team lead thought I'm going over his head... while I coordinated every move with him. But the moment I disagreed with him -- once, and for the first time -- I was removed. Zero discussion.

I'm quite empathetic. My original message above comes from bitterness because neither extreme is good. I was in the positive extreme for a while. Too sympathetic, always finding excuses for people who only saw me as a tool to advance their own careers and removed me the minute they thought that was no longer true.

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#148

Post by eleveriven » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:18 PM UTC

repeekad wrote: post #4

“Burnout isn’t a sign of commitment, it’s a sign of organizational failure.” Exactly, if you need more bandwidth hire more people, otherwise you’re burning the candle at both ends and everything suffers for it

Yep! It's wild how often companies treat burnout like a motivation problem instead of a math problem

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#149

Post by eleveriven » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:20 PM UTC

stego-tech wrote: post #105

I’m just glad to see more folks realizing the same things I’ve suffered through for much of my career. If anything, I wish my own bosses would read these words (and many more) to understand why I’m so withdrawn, so angry, so tired . Being a leader means a constant confrontation with choosing political or organizational consequences to a decision. If all you’re doing is operating politically, your reward will always b…

Most workers aren't asking for miracles. Just let them do their jobs without turning everything into a political chess match.

Re: Things I want to say to my boss

#150

Post by procaryote » Thu, Dec 11, 2025, 7:26 PM UTC

I don't need my boss to care about me. I need them to care about the team succeeding, and the mission I signed up to.

I need them to show some very baseline decency and honesty so that I can somewhat trust what they say. I need them to not drive their own career at the expense of the company or team.

If the company needs to do layoffs, I want them to pick the right people to stay, to have a good shot at still doing a good job, not pick emotionally.

You don't have to care about people to understand it's better to not burn them out. Staff turnover is expensive and bad for the team performance. Quality and innovation starts suffering long before people implode.