141–150 of 373 posts
Label your fucking axes!
This data looks interesting but I'm not really sure what I'm looking at.
Has anyone noticed that the histograms have some spikes and valleys that are probably artifacts? My guess is that there's some rounding or floating point shannanigans going on. Yes this is what I have to contribute to the conversation, I cannot speak to the dating dynamics as I am an unexpert on that subject
If it's not an error, perhaps it involves something where once your profile approaches certain cutoffs for liked/viewed ratio, the system changes how (and to whom) it presents your profile... Except the higher and lower outliers are not always adjacent either.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dataclysm
If you're a guy and you want to depress yourself, find a female friend who is signed to a dating app and see all the likes and messages she gets. When I was in this space, an attractive woman was getting on the order of 1000 messages a day. 95% of those messages were one-worders, "hi", "wassup". Basically a total tsunami of garbage.
LLMs are going to change this space enormously as they are going to act as your agent to talk to the other person's agent. The world of online dating is going to be horrible.
I already know people who have dozens of verified female dating app profiles staffed by LLMs and overseas operators that they use to trick men into clicking links to generate revenue.
Enshittification all round.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think most people feel entitled to a romantic relationship in their life, and they're going to do whatever they need to do to attain that, regardless of whether or not you think it's "entitled".
You're not entitled to a relationship is the fact of the matter. It should be treated with respect and not as something you are owed. You know why? Because the man or woman on the other end of it is a person with a whole lived experience, feelings and capacity for love. They deserve better than some bitter resentment at never getting something you were "owed by destiny".
People aren't entitled to a relationship? In what sense? Legally? sure. The fact of the matter is that on a basic level, most people expect to find love in their life. And whatever institution that interrupts most people from achieving normal life goals like having a decent-paying job and having a normal relationship will either be torn down or will tear down society with it, whether it's AI automation of jobs or dating apps or whatever.
I am also a human being with an entire lived experience, and I am done with people like you belittling me. I have my own goals, and I am going to achieve them regardless of what people like you think. Is that entitled? So what? A lot of my difficulty in dating has been building my confidence and overcoming this notion that I don't deserve anything instilled in me by people like you.
I am not resentful or bitter, but I am angry at people like you for misrepresenting my beliefs and presenting your own perspective as "fact", when in fact you are the minority. Most people do feel entitled to a relationship, whether or not they say so.
> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks As someone in that more than 50%, it’s very annoying to constantly get told to get on the apps to meet women. I’m surrounded by men in the top 20% because I’m affluent, well educated, and spend a lot of time at the gym. Sadly, I’m just around these people and wasn’t born into the same kind of family.…
> Women don’t need men anymore in the developed world. Men are luxury goods and women are completely happy to live without. A man isn’t needed but merely wanted and only wanted if he fits a very particular set of criteria. I’m not accusing you of being an incel (I’m really not trying to be sarcastic). But this has some real incel vibes. Are you a 2 only trying to date 10s? And I am not looking down from you from on h…
Women in the west are choosing, quite reasonably, to hook up with the top 20% of men and ignore the rest. I'm not saying that as a blame thing - I don't blame them, I might make the same choice in their position. But the result is that the bottom 80% of men have practically no options - and no, lowering their standards doesn't help, it's not a problem of having potential partners they don't want, it's a problem of not having potential partners at all. I wish we could at least be honest about this rather than victim-blaming.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> For girls you need to lower your standards and force you to go on a date with guys that you dont have the flame for (it is actually very hard to do that for a girl, very very hard) I kind of didn't understand the logic behind how he got there. According to the article women get more matches then they know what to do with. Why would lowering your standards in such an environment be a good strategy?
Lowering your standards will find guys who aren't just interested in sex. The problem is that most women want the same (small proportion of) men. He said that the more matches a man gets, the more likely he'll just want sex and not a relationship. So you go for the less desired men and you find better quality matches, if you are looking for more than casual relations.
My assumption would be someone who changes their mind on what they want based on availability of choices would probably not be a good relationship partner.
So would lowering your standards really get you more "quality" matches, or just get people more willing to lie about what they want because they are more desperate?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're not entitled to a relationship is the fact of the matter. It should be treated with respect and not as something you are owed. You know why? Because the man or woman on the other end of it is a person with a whole lived experience, feelings and capacity for love. They deserve better than some bitter resentment at never getting something you were "owed by destiny".
I think pretty much everyone deserves to be in a relationship for the same reason I think everyone deserves to learn how to ride a bicycle, or read a book, or learn to swim or have a friend or get a job. It is simply an experience that I think everyone should experience at least once in their life. People aren't entitled to a relationship? In what sense? Legally? sure. The fact of the matter is that on a basic level,…
The data here falls in line with the infamous OKcupid study (which got cancelled and taken down because men and women are identical, donchaknow?) The takeaway is that humans best date by meeting people in person through mutual acquaintances. Without the forced direct social interaction, women are only interested in the top 10% of guys, and guys are just aimlessly running at anything that moves regardless of their act…
Equal parts fascinating and dystopian. I'm even more convinced now that online dating has reached a local optima, but eventually someone is going to find a solution that is less shallow and predatory and blow it out of the water.
I’m more cynical. Dating apps are easy, and entertaining. Finding a good person to spend your life (or a prolonged period) with is hard. I’m not sure there is an external solution to this in the world we live in - it’s like getting fit. People need to suck it up and put in the work if they want results.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I didn’t run the numbers but I also quickly figured that the only chance to make progress is to like a lot of profiles. For a while i liked only profiles which i thought are a really good fit but got no responses. Turns out spamming works better. Once a woman likes you back, then you can take a closer look.
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