Polyamory doesn't liberate; monogamy doesn't protect

Post by subjectsigma » Fri, Dec 20, 2024, 2:43 PM UTC

amanaplanacanal wrote: post #121

subjectsigma wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For our ancestors, not being choosy about sex had very serious consequences. (It still might.) It’s “wild” to you that 3 million years of evolution is working as intended?

I assume you are talking about our Hunter-gatherer ancestors based on the timeframe, but I'm not sure what you mean by serious consequences. Could you expand on that a bit? I suspect monogamy as we know it is a response to the invention of agriculture, and we have closer relatives (the bonobos) who have sex much more freely than some of our other closer relatives.

Post by potato3732842 » Fri, Dec 20, 2024, 2:59 PM UTC

bluefirebrand wrote: post #53

123yawaworht456 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

the more I glimpse American culture, the happier I am that I was not born there. >I wasn't terribly happy with that response, and she broke up with me a week later my brother in Christ, you should've broken up with her on the spot.

> my brother in Christ, you should've broken up with her on the spot After she told me she wanted to be with me for life? I had hoped the poly issue was going to be in the past I was in my early 20s, I was in love, she was my second girlfriend, who happened to be my high school crush, "the one that got away" but I got a second shot with her and took it, I was living the dream How that relationship ended screwed me up…

Post by coldtea » Fri, Dec 20, 2024, 3:03 PM UTC

valval wrote: post #102

krupan wrote: post #54

It's wild that we can't differentiate lust and love, committed relationship and meaningless sex. That's the main thing I get from the confusion in the article and the confusion in the comments here about what even defines polyamory. It sounds to me like who you have sex with is the main and only thing that defines a relationship? Can people that wait to have sex until marriage ever be considered polyamorous while unm…

Many would argue that there is no such thing as meaningless sex. I’m of the opinion that arguing for the existence of such thing is naive and idiotic.

Post by trogdor » Fri, Dec 20, 2024, 3:08 PM UTC

e40 wrote: post #129

nerdjon wrote: post #13

There is one issue that I have with this article and most discussions around polyamory. That is mixing in open relationships and poly. There is a massive difference between, you can do whatever sexually you want and dating other people. There is an emotional difference. Myself, I am in an open relationship but I know that what I consider poly is a line I do not wish to cross. I know that just it is not for me. I don'…

What does “door ajar” mean? I have seen several references to it but no definition.

Post by paulryanrogers » Fri, Dec 20, 2024, 3:41 PM UTC

portaouflop wrote: post #140

big-green-man wrote: post #72

I think people who like ideas like polyamory have misconstrued notions about what monogamy is, which is a general cultural problem in western societies these days. I don't own my partner and she doesn't own me. I give myself freely to her and she does the same. It's not about expectation, but commitment. I promise her she's the only one for me, despite my very human desires, and she promises me the same thing. This i…

Where I am from marriage is forever and there is no way to dissolve it without burning in eternal fire - it’s very much about ownership. Kudos on you to having a modern marriage but marriage in the past (and also now) also is about ownership. It’s a literal contract between two people and you are legally obligated to take care of the other person.