> Looking back at it I knew my time was up a long time ago but I didn't have the courage to jump.
This is the crux of the problem. A job is a job, just move on.
Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
141–150 of 224 posts
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#142Thank you for sharing. I can relate. This is my first “real” full time job, and I’ve now been there 10 years with little to show for it, and not for lack of trying. Software engineer for a small company, report directly to the owners. Repeatedly, I pour my heart and soul into a project that I believe in, only for ownership to trash the project for superficial reasons. I’ll do small things and get overly patronizing p…
Over 10 years how much have your wages increased?
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#143I had a job at Apple for two years, which paid very well and had very good stock grants, but I absolutely hated. I hated most (not all) of my managers, I didn't really enjoy the work, and my team in particular would routinely have meetings until 9pm, multiple times a week. I would sign off from my computer, and lie down on my bed nearly catatonic because I was so unhappy, to a point where my wife was getting a bit worried.
Eventually I got in yet another argument with my manager's manager, and decided enough was enough, and put in my notice, and two weeks later I was gone. The first day after I woke up and realized that I didn't have to work for Apple anymore, this wave of relief swept over me. I was so happy that I didn't even care that I had to give up several hundred thousand dollars of stock.
You only have one life, and you get maybe 100 years to live it. Don't waste it in a job that makes you miserable.
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#144I've discovered this with many things. I left my previous job before a year was up in large part because I wasn't happy with it, and later discovered that other people jumped ship for similar reasons. At the time, all the corporate positivity-speak made it feel as if I was being a rogue, but others were actually dissatisfied as well.
As far as being paid to "do nothing", I think the core issue with that is it's never actually doing nothing. When you're doing nothing at work, your job is actually to _appear_ busy and to seem relevant. Not only is it difficult, but it's unpleasant, dissatisfying, and demoralizing. There are times when I've been effectively paid to do nothing, and it sucked because I could almost never work on anything that was interesting or mattered.
On the other hand, if I were paid to truly just "do whatever", that might be a different story. I can always identify interesting and even important problems to work on. In the "do nothing" paradigm, usually I'm told not to do such things but instead work only on anything that comes across my desk, and those things may not arrive regularly. That's what sucks.
Just a thought.
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#145Thanks for sharing. > Just doing nothing sounds awesome. It's not. It's crap. Yeah, this is something people don't realize until they're it in. It's not fun. Humans long to be needed. > but I didn't have the courage to jump This is one of those things I personally have trouble wrapping my head around, but I know it happens. Kudos for getting it done.
I do not have that problem. Last time it happened to me, I started learning medicine seriously, entire day on the job. Now I am pretty good, I can handle myself and my family, and I managed to fix several chronic problems of myown and several nasty things in others. Before that, when it happened again, I was developing big framework in arcane programming language. All the things I did due to the 'not having anything…
I'm interested in medicine for basically the reason you mentioned, understanding some of my chronic problems.
What are good sources for learning more about how my body works and how to fine tune it?
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#146Thanks for sharing. > Just doing nothing sounds awesome. It's not. It's crap. Yeah, this is something people don't realize until they're it in. It's not fun. Humans long to be needed. > but I didn't have the courage to jump This is one of those things I personally have trouble wrapping my head around, but I know it happens. Kudos for getting it done.
Sorry for sidetracking, but is "... until they're it in" idiomatic? Because I love the phrase, but I'm not a native speaker, and unable to coax google into clearing this up. Would you use this in written form only or when speaking too? (third opinions are also very welcome!)
I think a more appropriate idiom would be "in the thick of it", adapted here to be "until they're in the thick of it."
It communicates that you're in the middle of something chaotic/stressful like a jungle. The phrase is very natural for native speakers.
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#147This is 100% why we need a strong social safety net and/or UBI in the USA. Imagine if you could just quit a job like this, take a few months off, and start looking for a new job, without worrying about becoming bankrupt or homeless? The economy would thrive as individuals were free to move about the labor market, take time off to re-skill periodically, etc. I was in a bad situation in a job, completely burned out. It…
Totally this. I moved away from the US many years ago, and having the luxury to go a few months without work and not have to worry about things like health insurance is phenomenal. You can find a new job at your own pace, when you're actually genuinely excited about it.
Also, there are enough other people around you who are taking their time that you don't feel like garbage for not having a job (somehow in the US, even when I was more than financially secure, I felt like it was 'not ok' to not be working)
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
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This entire thread is a cry for help and yet the thing that would probably actually treat the problem is being dismissed. Just say you don't wanna do the work and stop making excuses. It's like complaining that going running could cause you to sprain your ankle when a doctor tells you to run for the health of your heart. Until you try it you have no idea what's gonna happen. Instead you do nothing paralyzed by inacti…
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Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#149I feel that. I had one job for years. CEO threatened to disparage me if I quit, and they were very well connected. I was pretty miserable and do not even realize how miserable I was. I figured I had just started losing my hair at a young age.
I had a pretty large incident that lead to a broken knee, ribs, and hand. The team was mostly distributed and the C-suite was all in town. CEO insisted on holding a meeting at my house because everyone was in town. I remember none of it, I was catatonic in bed. I’m told everyone found the scenario one of the most uncomfortable professional experiences ever.
About a year after leaving I went from 6 hours of sleep to 8-9. My hair regrew. Took a couple years more to get over the anxiety that came with NOT working on holidays.
It’s wild how miserable I was and bore through it. It makes me enormously grateful to be working at a great company that actually disabled your GitHub if you’re working too much.
Re: Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
This entire thread is a cry for help and yet the thing that would probably actually treat the problem is being dismissed. Just say you don't wanna do the work and stop making excuses. It's like complaining that going running could cause you to sprain your ankle when a doctor tells you to run for the health of your heart. Until you try it you have no idea what's gonna happen. Instead you do nothing paralyzed by inacti…
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I just went through a a devastating break up and the pain was so intense I finally had the motivation to find a therapist and actually show up to an appointment. I've never done therapy before. No one's gonna help you until you help yourself. If you desperately want help you'd actually find some. Otherwise all I'm seeing is excuses.