141–150 of 167 posts
> “Hey, I heard about the news. I don’t have the right words and please don’t feel obligated to reply. Just know that if I can do something, big or small, now or in the future, I’m just a text away.” i like this
"Hey, I heard about the news. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, big or small."
Or for someone I'm close to:
"Heard you got laid off. That fucking sucks. How are you holding up?"
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"empirical evidence" would likely require a breach of research ethics, but I suppose you could randomly borrow your neighbors cats to observe owner behaviors. Just kidding, as being a "jerk" with facts is not a character flaw from my perspective. lol =)
This is a good example of Acceptance!
> “Hey, I heard about the news. I don’t have the right words and please don’t feel obligated to reply. Just know that if I can do something, big or small, now or in the future, I’m just a text away.” i like this
I don't like it personally. I feel it is exaggerated, especially the part "I don't have the right words" I would feel awkward if I were on the receiving end — I lost my job, not someone died. Maybe it is just me, I get awkward easily, for context. It highly depends on the context. Are they 20-something single person working on a high-pay job, or someone older with a family to support and struggling? The response need…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
One thing I learned when my son was born is eating well is really tough to do when your mind is somewhere else. Mealtrains -- friend sourced meal prep -- are popular for people with newborns, but I've taken to dropping off meals (or sending GrubHub gift cards for friends who live out of town) to friends when I know they're going through a tough time.
I've just discovered this firsthand. Meal trains are awesome, but really challenging to have done right if you and/or your partner have serious food allergies. GrubHub is definitely good, but what's worked for us is a prepared foods service that drops off pre-cooked meals twice a week. Our friends and family gave us cash to help allay the cost of the service, but it's really not much more expensive than takeout. We'r…
Maybe someone should create a meal registry. Like meal planning and a meal train combined with the concept of a gift register. I don't think I'd feel comfortable being that direct with what I will and won't eat when it's a service someone is going out of their way to provide, but on the other hand I have received meals I didn't eat so it'd be better for everyone. The idea is simple enough that I'd be surprised if it doesn't already exist.
Edit: ha, a search for "meal train" shows this solution as the first hit, so guess there's a demand after all.
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"Yep, they will never forget humiliation of depending on someone else's charity" Wow. What a horrible way to view the world.
I have friends like this. They fought super hard and sacrificed a lot to get themselves and their families where they are. Super kind and generous people. Getting unsolicited gifts like this feels like a big slap in the face of what they've accomplished. I'm not saying they're right to feel this way. But it's something that needs to be considered.
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It really is frustrating. I commented elsewhere on this post that a very good friend of mine was just laid off and his immigration status is now a question that needs an answer in the coming month(s). His entire family is on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. I'm 3 states removed, so I can't physically help him with anything, either. My own employer is not hiring right now. The best that I can do is reach out to my…
Could a friend hire him for their company for a fictitious salary or something like that to keep their immigration clock going?
Please no one do this.
It won’t help, won’t work, and you’ll both regret it big time.
Some people tried this stuff with their llc’s in 2008 oil crash, lot of h1b’s and E2’s all employer tied.
I testified at several of the hearings.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"empirical evidence" would likely require a breach of research ethics, but I suppose you could randomly borrow your neighbors cats to observe owner behaviors. Just kidding, as being a "jerk" with facts is not a character flaw from my perspective. lol =)
This is a good example of Acceptance!
Like for everything geek related, the IT crowd has the answer: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/96/f0/ab/96f0ab9606a11da037c3...
Someone on a forum I frequent lost their (90 year old) father this morning. I never know what to say in those situations so I tend to hide for a few days. I guess posting that screenshot wouldn't be the best move...
I'll mention one more thing which helps: Concrete offers of help. Depending on the circumstances, those can be practical (e.g. cooking and bringing food, covering part of funeral expenses/logistics) or supportive (e.g. making yourself available to talk through things or just be there for someone). A vague offer of help, many people will never make use of. "If there's anything I can do..." often doesn't quite signal "…