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How I regained concentration and focus

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Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#141

Post by sethammons »

1-6 wrote: post #97
synergy20 wrote: post #65

Block websites will help definitely. another "threat" is when you have a few kids, your daily life is cut into pieces with random and sometimes strong background noises 24x7x365, not much you can do there. personally, that impacts my focus the most and there is no cure, and it usually lasts for about 20 years when kids are finally into colleges. obviously there are many good stuff out of raising kids, and I enjoyed i…

I’m curious because I’ve had kids early. Will I ever be able to catch up with peers who’ve decided their focus would be on their job and forego having children later in life?

I had my first kid at 15; are you that early? It was a rough start. Mom and I are still together 24 years later. We played life on hard mode and I don't recommend it. I got a near full academic ride to a university but had trouble getting books and supplies. My wife worked mostly as a waitress at first. After several attempts at different jobs, I landed as a software developer. I was in my 30s before we could save a penny. I make a couple hundred grand a year now and can buy my (now three) kids what they need and want and my retirement account is healthy

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#142

Post by muffinman26 »

KindAndFriendly wrote: post #95

"...I cancelled my subscription to my formerly favourite online news portal (the German “Spiegel-Online”)..." Very good. Spiegel Online - unfortunately - became terribly bad over the last years, with click-bait headlines, sensational reporting as well as pushing fear & anxiety throughout their articles.

Do you have a different German newspaper you would recommend now? I used to read der Spiegel regularly to keep my German from getting too rusty.

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#143

Post by ge96 »

VyseofArcadia wrote: post #29
tenebrisalietum wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Work for money.

My experience is that the more politics and BS and organization has, the more you can coast. Individual performance can get lost in the noise. Even in orgs that have their stuff together, I see a preference for internal transfer over termination. I think it's some sort of HR sunk cost fallacy.

I'm kind of coasting myself (not being a leader/taking anything big on). What I like it about it is, I can leave work at work after work and focus on my own things that are more challenging.

At the moment I burned money/got into a lot of debt trying to get a start up going. When that failed I just grabbed the first job/company that gave me an offer. I'm not that pumped about what I do but I can deal with it for now. Pay is still good for my level (low six figs) and it's 100% remote.

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#144

Post by haswell »

lampshades wrote: post #122
AzureShill420 wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you feel like there is really anything to "catch up" on? I'm in my mid 30s with no kids - while I can see that my career happens to be more advanced than close friends who had kids early, the signal to noise ratio is pretty high. I'd think about it this way: enjoy the path you've set yourself on and savour the years where you have both your kids and your health. When they become less dependent on you, the option t…

Tip: don’t give advice to people with kids when you don’t have them yourself. We don’t want it because you all have zero idea what we go through.

Nothing about their advice is specific to the role of parenting itself, but more about perspective on life choices in general. If they were telling you how to be a parent, sure, but there's nothing wrong with trying to learn from each other's experiences.

Not having kids may afford some advantages in some circumstances, but in my experience, the decision is often made for reasons that most people don't see, and not just because of career goals. I know plenty of parents and non-parents, and if there's one thing I can say about non-parents, rarely is career progression a sufficient form of purpose / satisfaction in life. Most parents I know would never trade their decision to have kids for a slightly faster trip up a career ladder, but that faster trip isn't necessarily real either.

I'm in my mid 30s, and I personally will never have kids. I made this choice partially because of the environment I grew up in, where I was a defacto parent for younger siblings for most of my formative years. I love my siblings, but simply put, I'm done parenting, and have enough of my own baggage I'm still dealing with after that experience. This baggage is heavy enough that work is still a struggle. I may appear unencumbered to those around me, but that doesn't automatically equate to more bandwidth to advance my career.

I've found career success, yes, but not because I don't have kids. If anything, my career focus impeded my personal growth, so I'm working on that in my 30s.

Ultimately it's a tradeoff, and while some people may occasionally find themselves at an advantage in some way, it's unclear if this is an advantage to aspire to, or if it leads to any improvement in life satisfaction.

If there's one thing I can say, it's that work and career progression isn't really what it's cracked up to be, and isn't "enough" for long.

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#145

Post by bishopsmother »

121789 wrote: post #104

Does anyone know how to block websites at something like the router level? I find myself able to get around normal browser-level blockers fairly easily. I'd love to use some parental controls against myself from like 6-5pm on weekdays

If you're willing to be a beta tester - I'll set you up with a free account (see about[0]); I'm open to suggestions/implementing new features based on user demand (e.g. Slowdown as a Service).

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=bishopsmother

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#147

Post by j7ake »

1-6 wrote: post #97
synergy20 wrote: post #65

Block websites will help definitely. another "threat" is when you have a few kids, your daily life is cut into pieces with random and sometimes strong background noises 24x7x365, not much you can do there. personally, that impacts my focus the most and there is no cure, and it usually lasts for about 20 years when kids are finally into colleges. obviously there are many good stuff out of raising kids, and I enjoyed i…

I’m curious because I’ve had kids early. Will I ever be able to catch up with peers who’ve decided their focus would be on their job and forego having children later in life?

You won’t beat them by absolute number of hours. However, you can surpass your peers by having more focus, being more organized, and thinking outside the box.

Anecdotal evidence: PhDs with children often are just as productive if not more than those without. Most PhD students are inefficient due to not focusing and thinking they infinite time.

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#148

Post by ge96 »

kzrdude wrote: post #70
TimTheTinker wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes there really is - for people who want to focus but find it frustratingly difficult because of their brain chemistry (ADHD or whatever). For me, it's sleeping enough, nicotine patches, green tea, L-Tyrosine, Avmacol, and no coffee. This regimen has helped me improve my work performance significantly. It doesn't "fix" everything, but it sure makes it so much easier to function and to focus what I want to focu…

That sounds great, I've certainly too gone through a better sleep period where I focused on better sleep - no coffee for two years and lots of other measures like that. And it works. That's not a silver bullet, that's hard work. :)

For the last couple of years my sleep pattern has been crazy. Sometimes I would stay up two days in a row to rest my sleep pattern back to 9-5 schedule. I preferred to be sleep deprived as it made my job more interesting.

But lately (since a month ago) I have been thankfully able to maintain a 12/1-8:30 range sleep pattern.

I do a 15 min workout 5 days a week. I have been fasting so I eat a big meal a couple hours before sleeping. Read a book half an hour before sleep.

So far it's been working. Fasting is weight loss reasons. Also helps me personally focus since if I eat too much I get lazy/tired.

Other thing I'll comment on is regarding personal projects. I lay out a plan, when the day begins (weekend) I don't open anything (social media) I just immediately work on this project. Thankfully I can dump the most of the weekend days toward the project.

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#149

Post by giantg2 »

bumby wrote: post #116
giantg2 wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"It's just been my experience that the people who take that mindset tend to slack off once they realize they can get the same paycheck to provide for their family while also doing less work." I think it's mostly the people who realized the company has deceived them, either in the company values/mission or the "pay for performance" scheme being BS. There shouldn't be anything wrong with someone just doing their job fo…

I think you hit on some very important points, but there's a couple issues. For one, not every singular duty can clearly defined. That's why many job descriptions will have a clause like "and other duties as assigned." Ultimately, we're hiring teammates in order to solve problems. I want to work with people who try to solve those problems irrespective if it adds to their personal identity or was meticulously defined…

"If people are actively seeking out and solving problems, that's not the same as the transactional mindset I'm talking about."

At least at my company, there's no differentiation. I do look for problems to solve. I have volunteered for extra roles and responsibilities that others didn't want. So why do the the people that are too smart to take on the role of application security champion for the team get promoted, while those security champions are passed over?

It seems you're describing that engagement is better than transactional mindset. That's true from the employer's perspective. That's only true from the employee's perspective if the employer is rewarding that.

The promotion I was talking about was brought up because I was already performing at the next level and was engaged- filling the lead role for the team the prior year and volunteering for additional projects. So yeah, the problems and work that I did would have gone undone or the team's work would be uncoordinated.

'That time-transaction mindset leads to exactly what you alluded to. "If I spend 13% more time here, I should get 13% more pay."'

To be real, that's the company's mindset that they should require you to work an extra 13% for a 7% raise, a rate decrease. The defined expectations for that next level are demonstratably higher. Arguably those higher expectations should be matched with a higher rate not a lower one. This concept is critical to understand

Re: How I regained concentration and focus

#150

Post by ChrisPebble »

koheripbal wrote: post #87
synergy20 wrote: post #65

Block websites will help definitely. another "threat" is when you have a few kids, your daily life is cut into pieces with random and sometimes strong background noises 24x7x365, not much you can do there. personally, that impacts my focus the most and there is no cure, and it usually lasts for about 20 years when kids are finally into colleges. obviously there are many good stuff out of raising kids, and I enjoyed i…

This is why many people with kids want to physically return to the office - fewer distractions.

Anecdotally all but one of the parents I know (including myself) prefer working remotely. I tried to find if there were any survey results and found a survey by Harris Poll on behalf of Zapier that said that "56 percent of parents want the option to work remotely" [1].

I have a private office in our home and know that's not a luxury for many others, but the quality of life as a parent working from home vs being in the office is dramatic. With the kids home during the summer the noise and distraction levels do go up, but honestly are still less bothersome then the open office floor plan I was in previously. I think it really depends on your home situation as well as how your office was setup, but my guess is that a majority of parents would prefer remote positions if available.

[1] https://zapier.com/blog/remote-work-report-by-zapier/

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