You should join a startup where generally everyone needs to carry their weight for the company to succeed which creates camaraderie opposite of loneliness.
Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
141–150 of 519 posts
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
There is truth in trying to uplevel people, but first it feels like dialing in on oneself within the global market.
Only till you think it through. What hiring manager doesn't want someone who can demonstrate a track record of leveling up the people around them?
One dimension of this is that if you invent something, then you must uplevel people around you.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#143I think you are not defining the problem broadly enough. Working or coding in general can not provide all the challenge and social belonging in life. Pick something that you are not good at and recapture satisfaction of growth. For example, I took up kickboxing about a year ago and I am still not great at it, but I can see improvement month by month. Or an ultimate 100x - have/adopt a kid or another kid, no more boredom for a decade.
Next, even when it comes to work, you are not replicating your results at scale yet. Can you discover people with great potential and train them until they are able to challenge YOU and suggest improvements to whatever you come up with.
Finally, is there truly no individual challenge left for yourself as an individual contributor? Have you looked at state of the art in 3D graphics, machine learning and quantum computing and expanded your expertise in these areas? Or if you prefer traditional programming, try coding for low end embedded devices where extreme ingenuity is required for production functionality and performance. Don't mean to jump straight into recruitment, but if you want, ping me some ways to contact you and I bet we can keep you challenged for a while.
Or, for non work fun, check out retro computing / demo scene. This cuts down tedium of writing lots of code - can't fit that much in 64K or even 640L - while maximizing fun of making every line count.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#144Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've thought about this. I actually do not think I'm the smartest person in the room, hell two of the people in my direct team are definitely smarter than me. I think I have really good systems that allow me to consistently solve problems and write code. On the loneliness front, I meant in the scope of working. I have four kids, I am everything BUT lonely with them. However, I do agree that aside from work and one of…
Being the big fish at your current job gives you some advantages. I would talk with your manager and explain that you need to work fewer hours so you can take better care of your physical health. Especially if you combine this with coaching your peers, they may not resent the fact that you are getting some perks they don't get. And if they do, well, that's not your problem. I have worked at many jobs where I received…
aside from your 1 hour lunch, you're entitled to at least a couple 15 minute breaks. Make sure you're stepping away every now and then to take care of yourself. Working from home is not the same as working in the office and we all need to adjust.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#145Earlier quoted context omitted.
+1. I had a similar crisis when I was a “big fish in a smallish company”, I wasn’t learning, I wasn’t being stretched and felt like I was going to get stuck in this eddy. Move to a bigger company, be challenged again.
I mostly agree, but I don't think the company necessarily has to be bigger, just more competent and ambitious(?).
The parent meant to communicate "big fish in small pond" but tossed in the word company instead of pond. Ignore that bit.
Big fish in small pond still describes the need for room to grow accurately enough.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#146Change company, felt this way three times already and I started to learn again after changing job for three times. Now I am in like a sort of bridge between code and business so it's more challenging and I actually enjoy to step down, code and solve things that other are not able to ;)
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#147“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” I know saying this is easier than doing it, but; seek upward movement until you no longer feel like you're the smartest person in the room. I would also add, although it's purely personal opinion, that seeking a solution to loneliness through work is a surefire way to feel more lonely. You say you're big on self-improvement, but are you only focus…
> “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”
Easier said than done. I found smarter people only in few teams in FAANGs, but never in other companies.
Unfortunately there are many other aspects that we need to balance out in life other than being in the right room.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
I was more thinking about the kind of guys I've known who've liked throwing around nonsense like "simps". But if it hasn't yet occurred to you that helping other people develop their careers is also a great way to develop your own, I don't suppose I'm all that likely to disabuse you of the oversight.
In my experience, it doesn't help at all. Move to SV and you'll understand.
I did my big tech tour of duty, and most of my later years were all about helping people. Even now, as a retiree, I help people.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#149I am not a top developer or even close to it (I don't or want to have this trait of "relentless pursuit of self-improvement" ), but I have worked with a couple. It seems to me that being controlling is part of the problem. When I worked with a top developer, every and each code that I wrote they would have written it faster, more elegantly, more maintainable, and more bug-proof. But when they reviewed my PR, they wou…
This is an underrated answer.
When your colleagues start treating you as the "go-to guy", I think it's often holding back their own development. Why should they try harder when they know your code review will catch everything they missed? Why bother volunteering for challenging tasks when they know you will do it faster?
Often when you are put in the position of being the "go-to guy" at a company, you start to imagine that the company will fall apart without you. But it turns out that when you leave... the company just keeps going. And sometimes those developers you worked with that you might have seen as mediocre or unmotivated now grasp the opportunity to step up and grow into something better.
I think if you feel like all the pressure is on your shoulders and the company would fail without you, you have a bad relationship with your job. Your work is where you go to get paid. The end. Unless you are literally being paid 10x what your colleagues are being paid, from the company's perspective you are not a 10x developer. The truth is, in most cases, the company doesn't care all that much whether they have in you a 1.5x developer or a 10x developer. They value you exactly as much as they're paying you, no more. So don't feel irreplaceable. The world will keep on spinning long after you are gone.
Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer
#150“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” I know saying this is easier than doing it, but; seek upward movement until you no longer feel like you're the smartest person in the room. I would also add, although it's purely personal opinion, that seeking a solution to loneliness through work is a surefire way to feel more lonely. You say you're big on self-improvement, but are you only focus…
> “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” Easier said than done. I found smarter people only in few teams in FAANGs, but never in other companies. Unfortunately there are many other aspects that we need to balance out in life other than being in the right room.
>Easier said than done.
My next line literally says "I know saying this is easier than doing it,"
>Unfortunately there are many other aspects that we need to balance out in life other than being in the right room.
And then I finish with "work/life balance is so much more than just what hours you work"
So... yes. I agree?