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I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

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Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#141

Post by edw519 »

I did quit my full-time job.

So did I. Many times. About half the time it worked out great. The other half, it sucked, just like yours does now. You are not alone.

I'm constantly broke, on the verge of poverty...

Then get a job, any job. It doesn't have to be programming. It'll get you out of the house, get you with other people, and put a few bucks in your pocket. If you love programming enough, you'll find time to keep it going on the side.

I'm deeply depressed and contemplating suicide

Don't. Contact me anytime (see my profile). When things are going well, they're never as good as they seem. When they are going poorly, they're never as bad as they seem.

I have to constantly hear my father shout what an idiot I am for quitting a high-paying job

Fathers are sometimes wrong. Yours is now. Don't listen to him.

My friends make fun of me for making a retarded life decision.

When things get tough, you find out who you're friends really are. I know it's not much consolation, but you just did. Be glad you saved a lot of time and energy. Anyone who makes fun of you was never your friend, just an acquaintence.

I can't really do anything else, since apparently finding a new job, is kind of hard and I have to go through the whole step where I admit my failure and start over and I don't even know what I want anymore.

Don't ever say "can't" because it's not true. You can. Just find any job and go from there. First you crawl, then you walk, then you run. Many of us have already been there. You can do it too.

I thought I would become free, but I've actually become less free as a result of it.

So far. What you don't see now since you are in the midst of this is that this was just one backward (or sideways) step in a long journey forward. I don't know anyone who is successful that had only forward steps. We have all had these backward steps. It sounds like this may have been your first big one. That might be why it hurts so much.

I'm 20, I have no college diploma, no high school diploma, ...

None of that matters. All that really matters is what's inside your head and your heart. Once you decide to start taking positive steps, you'll see.

I'm an idiot, essentially.

Please don't ever say that. You're not, and I have proof: If you were really an idiot, then you wouldn't have posted this here.

It just didn't work out and it feels very painful.

Thanks for the warning. You may have just saved a lot of people a lot of pain with this post.

And thanks for your story. I have been there (several times) as I imagine many others here have as well. It gets better. I promise. But you have to stop feeling miserable and take a positive step. Posting here was your first step. Talking to some of us off-line may be another. And getting out of the house and finding a job, any job, is probably your next best step.

Please give it a shot a keep us posted. We're not going anywhere and we care. Really.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#142

Post by jaypreneur »

Things don't always work out. If it's the first time in your life that things didn't work out, just brush yourself off and try again.

Everyone fails sometimes. It's about getting back at it that counts. You're only 20 and you've already tried something most never attempt. Who cares if you failed. Who cares if you're living with your parents. Who cares what your friends say. As long as you learn from what's happened, it was worthwhile.

You can always find another job. Sure, maybe not one as good as the last, but you can find something. And you can always try again in terms of starting your own business. So, don't worry. You'll be okay. It's all about attitude and perseverance.

You just need to take a step back and assess what happened, why it happened, and what you can do to go from here. You're just 20 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you!

Good luck!

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#144

Post by bzalasky »

Dude, you're only 20. Hang in there. I moved back in with my parents after losing my job in 2009 (at the age of 25). It took me a year of hard work and freelancing to get back on my feet. I moved out and then struggled to keep my head above water for another 8 months doing my own thing... and then I was able to get a job that I wasn't qualified for 2 years earlier. I was on track to be a copywriter for awhile back in 2009, and then things got shaken up. Now I'm a developer and so much happier. Figure out what you're passionate about, and everything else will follow. Even if they aren't always easy, you're fortunate to have a family to turn to. What type of work do you do now/what skills do you have?

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#145

Post by Xurinos »

thaumaturgy wrote: post #59

So, here's my story; I tell it occasionally when stories like yours come up. I had no college experience, but did manage to jump right in to a good I.T. job while I was still in high school, and from there into an even better I.T. job in another state where I made more money than I knew what to do with. (I've never been good with money, and didn't understand what "savings" meant.) I worked there until suddenly one da…

People that never take a risk rarely end up in great places in life. You took a risk, it hasn't worked out so far. But, you didn't know what was going to happen before you did it. An idiotic decision is one that you know is bad when you make it. Unless you have an unusual power of foresight, you're not an idiot for making the decision you made.

This struck a chord with me in two ways. First, it is easy for people to pass judgement in hindsight. Let them wallow in their cesspool of after-the-fact self-righteousness. Second, it is easy to remain in a comfort zone; we do not grow and get to those great places if we remain in that comfort zone.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#146

Post by saluki »

Quitting your job sounds like it was a good move, if you hate what you are doing everyday it's tough to enjoy life.

In the short term it may make things difficult financially.

Get excited about something, what are you passionate about that can pay the bills in the future?

A college degree is good, I would recommend getting some type of technical degree, computer science. Calculus is tough, a lot of people struggle through it, don't get discouraged.

Art appreciation is great, Art as a career or even as a degree not recommended (if you enjoy programming/solving problems).

That said a degree isn't 100% necessary, just nice to have.

If you are creative and enjoy programming and web design. Do not give up on web development/freelancing.

There is so much opportunity in this area.

Stage 1:

Stay at your parents as long as you can short term, thank them for letting your stay, help out around the house.

Find a support network and take care of yourself (Find people who put you in a positive mind set and spend time with them, spend time outdoors, exercise, eat right)

Find a Job any Job (Try to find something that interests you and relates to technology: Computer Repair Store, Apple Store maybe even Barnes and Noble).

Keep Freelancing (Take on every project you can find, approach local businesses and restaurants about creating or updating their websites, Take on difficult projects, that test and improve your skills)

Keep Learning (PHP/mySQL, jQuery, Create a Web App, Create an iOS app, HTML5, CSS3, Ruby on Rails)

Learn more about startups and businesses in general (Listen to David Heinemeier Hansson's startup school talk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CDXJ6bMkMY. Start listening to the interviews at http://mixergy.com.)

Meet Like Minded People (Ditch your friends that aren't supportive, make new friends)

Talk more with your family (Build a better relationship with your parents explain how bad your previous job was, admit that maybe you should have stuck it out, tell them about your new plan, keep them updated)

Money (Use credit sparingly, do not buy things on credit cards unless you can pay off the balance monthly, check out Rich Dad Poor Dad, just take in the overall message don't follow all his advice to the letter and Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover to build good money management habits now while you're young.)

Stage 2:

I would push you to plan on (or at least think about) having your own business (eventually).

Freelancing or working for a company is only going to take you so far. Salary isn't everything but when you have a wife and 2 kids, mortgage, college tuition, etc money won't go as far as you think.

Working for someone else your salary will hit a ceiling, same with freelancing/consulting you only have so many hours to sell and you'll constantly be chasing new projects.

You currently have a job, consulting, and are learning all you can about web development.

Let's add one more item to the mix, your side project.

Your side project will be the start of your company.

Your goal is to create a website, web application that provides reoccurring revenue.

SaaS (recommended) Mobile Apps Affiliate Site Content Site with Ads

Since you are young you can explore all these areas, figure out where your passion is and go from there.

If everything is going ok living at your parents use this time to build your side project(s), along with your job and freelancing/consulting.

If you feel like you need to get your own place then you're going to have to start looking for a better day job.

Basically balance your job, consulting and keep your side project(s) moving forward.

Stage 3:

You are young so you have a lot of time to get a business off the ground if that's the direction you are headed.

There are lots of ways to make money building online businesses.

Business is not easy, you will have failures and successes, stay positive.

Save money to give yourself runway when you decide to quit your day job and depend on your side projects that have turned into your primary business(s).

Keep an open mind, be on the look out for new business/website ideas, keep learning, keep up your support network.

If you aren't passionate about consulting or running your own business, pick a career you like and will enjoy day to day, then look at your starting salary and long term salary ceiling and setup your lifestyle below those levels, including money for savings, travel, kids, college.

Enjoy the ride.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#148

Post by Supermighty »

First and foremost you need to extract yourself from such negative people. If your father is literally calling you and an idiot, and your friends are not supportive, then you need to get them out of your life.

Starting out on your own is hard work, and even harder when you don't have positive and supportive family and friends to help you through the rough times.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#149

Post by Steve0 »

jgrahamc wrote: post #2

I'm deeply depressed and contemplating suicide If you are having suicidal thoughts then please talk to someone about that now. There are lots of people you can talk to. No matter where you are you can visit http://www.befrienders.org/

Also http://bluehackers.org/
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