Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

newyorker.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

141–150 of 464 posts

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#141

Post by alexonaci »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

Agree, and this is definetly not a popular opinion nowadays. But you could try having kids. You’ll find the meaning like a fire under the arse

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#142

Post by benibela »

WJW wrote: post #96
dagw wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I'm 43 and I'm feeling that I'm only now just hitting my stride, career wise, with good idea what I'm actually good at, want to do and can contribute. 20-40 was basically floundering around, trying things, learning things and working out what I wanted to do when I 'grew up'. And looking back, I wouldn't want to have had it any other way.

For sure. When I was 15, I looked back on my 10-year old self as someone who didn't know anything but now I had learned a lot. When I was 20, I looked back on my 15-year old self as someone who knew nothing but now I was an adult. At 25, I looked at my 20-year old self in the same way. Repeat for the next few steps. I'm now 35, pretty happy with how it is going life- and career-wise and I look back on my 30-year old…

On the other hand, now I am 32, and when I look at back at my 15-year old self, I just knew everything back then. I am only regressing since then in all ways

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#143

Post by jeffreygoesto »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

Try to love yourself and enjoy some moments while they are there. Your expectations come to quite some part from the society trying to make you function. Don't let them get you down too much. Go outside on a sunny day, stop, look, close your eyes and like something you saw, or just the air you breathe. There are more people that have cheerful moments because you are there than you think right now.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#144

Post by leetrout »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

I am not being trite:

Thats the point! There is no single point except to exist and from that to try to exist peacefully with your fellow people.

You are right, we are here briefly. No different than a flower blooming for a time. Whats the point to blooming just to die? Thats the point.

As alan watts said... the journey itself is the point.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#145

Post by xwdv »

JKCalhoun wrote: post #137
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#146

Post by randomsearch »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

> What's the point of it?

Live for others.

You (and I) are incredibly fortunate. We have our basic needs taken care of. We have more than that. There are many, many, people in the world who have problems that you can help solve. That could be - spending time with a lonely elderly person, volunteering with the homeless, building a website for a charity that can't afford to pay for a great one, building a startup that solves a problem for people... teach someone a skill. It can be anything.

Live to help other people. They need you. If you don't get much out of it - don't worry, they will. So if you're not particularly bothered about what you do, go help them. The world is full of important problems and people that need help, there's a vast number of things to work on that will make a difference to other people.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#147

Post by randomsearch »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

Maybe that's true.

It's certainly true that many parents spend 8 hours a day _not_ looking after their kids, but working on something. We have an enormous power of choice in what we work on, so choose something meaningful and your life will "not be over".

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#148

Post by biren34 »

xwdv wrote: post #145
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

Having kids is the last straw that breaks your dreams. By that point you’ve committed to the parent lifestyle and your life as it has been is over. You now spend the rest of your days providing for your family and viewing everything through the lens of a parent.

This doesn't have to be true, though it is for many.

If you can find a version of your dreams that pays the rent and puts food on the table, you can still chase them.

Your financial metabolism does go up though, and the total universe of options shrinks. Ramen profitable doesn't mean actual ramen when you've got a spouse and kids.

I found that I've gotten much further in pursuing my dreams after having kids than before. Maybe it's just coincidence, but I feel a lot of the skills I had to learn to be the kind of parent I wanted to be translated almost 1 for 1 to improving my business outcomes.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#149

Post by JKCalhoun »

marinappi wrote: post #134

It's not just that I thought of accomplishing more, but I also believed the world would be stable and things wouldnt change too much. How foolish that was. A stable world is a dream and at any moment something somewhere might impact us so hard that it changes everything. My parents lived through that, had their jobs replaced with automated systems halting most of their dreams. And now we went through a pandemic and a…

It's true that the pace of change appears to have accelerated.

I grew up under the threat that the USSR would nuke the U.S. and 70's culture was beginning to wake up to problems of oil shortages (embargoes), over-population, pollution. I am not sure I perceived the world as a stable, predictable thing even then.

But the Boomers had the rug pulled out from under them when the Summer of Love rolled in and suddenly the gender roles and marriage contracts of their parents generation "Ozzie and Harriet" lifestyle were shattered. Women entered the workplace, the decline of the blue-collar living wage, automation...

And I suppose the generation before began with the Great Depression followed up by the rise of fascism and WWII...

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#150

Post by SnowHill9902 »

xvector wrote: post #39
cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

If you want to be happy you’ll never be happy.
Post reply on HN