i
want to
scream
when
someone
types
their
thoughts
as several
separate
messages
and seems
unaware
that
every
message
is another
notification
Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
141–150 of 391 posts
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#142Hello
...?
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#143Just add hello before whatever you have to say! also, no “have a minute” or anything like that, the beauty of text communication is that I can respond to it whenever I want!
If you want my undivided attention schedule a call. Send me a couple of preferred times before asking mine. You will get what you want faster.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#144IMO, it depends what kind of communication you’re trying to initiate. Chat can be used for both “one-shot” asynchronous queries or notifications (the example in the link) and for synchronous, interactive discussions—chats!
If we could reach cultural consensus, it’d be great if a bare “Hello” / “Hi” / “Hey” let me know you’re attempting to initiate the latter.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#145I often just ignore and wait for a follow up.
With you here, the weirdest part is that about 25% of the time the person doesn't say anything else if you just leave it.
Yeah. They're waiting for you to confirm that your avatar status is actually correct and that you do in fact exist and can respond now. Which is like... "if I can't respond, you saying 'hi' won't change that, and if I can, then you may as well give me something to respond to beyond 'hi' anyway."
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#146I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?"
This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone)
I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from most people I work with and also far from most people I communicate with socially online (such as family). I find this approach of "just send a question and they can answer asynchronously" to be one of the reasons that working from home can be damaging to mental health. Natural human interactions, where there can be a real time back and forth, are positive things. Not necessarily always, but especially if I haven't communicated with a person in weeks, I'd much prefer this sort of thing.
If there is a specific topic I want to talk about, that can be expressed in a few words, sure, I'll say that. And if it really is just a simple question that can be answered directly, I'll just ask. But the point is that those are not always the case, and depending on the job each of us has and our relationship, it might be unlikely for that to be the case.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#147In terms of IM etiquette this feels so far down the list of my complaints, way behind "stop sending me screenshots to things that are available live on URLs or UNC shares". Or like "it would be literally less work for you to copy/paste the hyperlink to the ticket than it was for you to type in the ticket ID manually".
Yes! I'm with you there. I didn't see it much in IM services, but Reddit is a pro in terms of "Let me post the screenshot of the Tweet instead of linking to it".
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#148seems kind of dumb - the author is presupposing what the intent was. Not to mention that it's important to have the other person actually acknowledge a conversation is happening.
how about:
A: Hi!
B: What's up...?
A: Nothing just wanted to say hi!
B: Oh, haha. How's it going?
A: I was just realizing we haven't spoke in forever. Where are you these days?
=====================================================
Let's say people didn't say hi.
A: Hey we haven't spoken in forever! Where are you these days?
>
No conversation happens.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#149Either one is fine. I wish that people messaging me "hello" and their inquiry together vs separately were one of my top 500 problems.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#150Are people building these single serving sites (there’s also https://dontasktoask.com/ on the HN front page right now) as part of some SEO backlink scheme? Get a couple URLs linked a bunch of places then start linking out to sites from them?