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How to get the most out of your 1:1s

erik.wiffin.com

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Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#141

Post by fernandotakai »

cebert wrote: post #81

How often do you all have 1:1’s with manager. I’ve been in industry 15+ years and meet with my manager once or maybe twice a month, which seems reasonable. I’m fairly self sufficient and don’t need a lot assistance. Some of my peers at the same company and are also quite experienced have to meet with their manager weekly for 1:1’s. They remark to me that they don’t get a lot of value out of them being that frequent.

every week, but i think it's too much on both my schedule and on my manager's schedule.

i would say every other week should be perfect.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#142

Post by adolph »

spadros wrote: post #64

Yeah, I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently, and this article seems to have some more useless “wisdom” here summed up in a nice package. Kind of annoying to me that the writer implies the one on one is for me to fill his valuable time. I’m loving my work, don’t have any issues with my coworkers, and like my current position. I really don’t have critical feedback to bring to the table every one on one. To…

> I’ve been finding my one on ones useless recently

It sounds like you have a good problem to have. Given your described state you have space for relationship building. Many humans enjoy different kinds of chitchat. If one is able to create a positive expected emotional outcome from interactions, it acts as a thumb on the scales in your favor in other areas.

Cialdini's book "Pre-suasion" has good information about different techniques to operationalize. Below is a podcast in which he discusses the ethical use of such.

https://fs.blog/knowledge-project-podcast/robert-cialdini/

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#143

Post by SloopJon »

cebert wrote: post #81

How often do you all have 1:1’s with manager. I’ve been in industry 15+ years and meet with my manager once or maybe twice a month, which seems reasonable. I’m fairly self sufficient and don’t need a lot assistance. Some of my peers at the same company and are also quite experienced have to meet with their manager weekly for 1:1’s. They remark to me that they don’t get a lot of value out of them being that frequent.

I've had regularly scheduled biweekly meetings for the last several years. If we miss a meeting due to PTO or something, we don't reschedule, so meetings are sometimes a month apart.

One of my previous managers would just drop by my office on Friday afternoon to check in. This was shorter and shallower, more of a status update. My 1:1s tend to have a longer term focus: handing off responsibility for a project, and discussing which upcoming projects sound interesting.

As a soon-to-be manager myself, I will probably start with weekly 1:1s until I get to know the team well enough, then drop back to biweekly.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#144

Post by nickd2001 »

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

Sounds like you're working somewhere with an "up or out" culture? I've been there, done that, then moved on to a much nicer job. IMHO its a ridiculous way for a company to run. There are loads of people, like you or I or other commenters here, who will do a hard day's work, but don't want the extra stress and instead want enough time with our spouse and kid(s). We are nevertheless super useful to our employers. In fact, we're excellent value, because we don't chase the big bucks and we stick around gaining knowledge. My advice is GTFO from there. ;)

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#145

Post by DerArzt »

mym1990 wrote: post #135
scarface74 wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is very valuable until that employee needs to find another job and find their skills aren’t marketable.

Its up to the employee to continue to build marketable skills, not the employer. If the employee is content in their position, then that's that.

I have seen the thought "employers are responsible for skills growth of their employees" and I am with you on this.

Employees need to take responsibility for their career and growth. I am responsible for continuing my learning and maintaining my skill set. To that end though, I choose to work places that encourage and support that since it's in their own interest.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#146

Post by nickd2001 »

mym1990 wrote: post #135
scarface74 wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is very valuable until that employee needs to find another job and find their skills aren’t marketable.

Its up to the employee to continue to build marketable skills, not the employer. If the employee is content in their position, then that's that.

Exactly and while the employee may appear from the untrained eye, to be "going nowhere" they may well be quietly gaining skills of highly marketable long term value, in fact having time to learn stuff properly due to lower pressure. So everyone wins...

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#147

Post by danparsonson »

jcims wrote: post #8
kqr wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with you that if the worker wants to turn it into a status update, they should be allowed to. However... why do they feel like turning it into a status update? Is it because the manager isn't sufficiently looped in to what's happening on a daily basis?

I have 30 minute 1:1’s every week with my team (8 engineers). I’m in weekly backlog grooming sessions, semi-weekly demos, retros and sprint planning and of course daily standups. I’m in weekly status calls with two separate customers and weekly prioritization calls with product. I’m in constant dozer mode trying to clear a path for my team to eliminate blockers, execute bullshit corp process and help them resolve iss…

I would venture to suggest that they give you status updates instead of what you're really looking for because you have these meetings every week - how much is happening in the space of four and a half days since the last 1:1 that they can't deal with themselves or raise in the stand ups? Probably not a lot. And if you're looking for complaints, suggestions, etc., in 1:1s, then what are the retrospectives for? A former manager once asked me how frequently I wanted to have 1:1s with him, and my reply was never, but he insisted so I offered once a month and we ended up doing it fortnightly. I never felt like it was helpful.

Not to mention that as engineers, they probably value extended blocks of uninterrupted time to focus on being productive;

> 30 minute 1:1’s every week with my team (8 engineers). I’m in weekly backlog grooming sessions, semi-weekly demos, retros and sprint planning and of course daily standups

With respect, this sounds like hell to me. The only thing I would be complaining about is that you were tying me up in meetings so much that I couldn't get any actual work done.

And however friendly you are with your team members, you're still their manager and they probably don't feel close enough to freely share much of their personal lives with you - that's generally the nature of the relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#148

Post by gilbetron »

faangiq wrote: post #23

They’re basically kabuki nonsense like most of corporate America. No one benefits but everyone goes through the motions.

1-on-1s are one of my most valuable meetings. You have a direct line to your manager (and often "skip level" where you talking to their boss). That's phenomenal time to push your agenda, build consensus, stuff like that. But if you are just a Jira ticket finisher (and you like it, which is cool!) then I can see how it is less useful.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#150

Post by mym1990 »

DerArzt wrote: post #145
mym1990 wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its up to the employee to continue to build marketable skills, not the employer. If the employee is content in their position, then that's that.

I have seen the thought "employers are responsible for skills growth of their employees" and I am with you on this. Employees need to take responsibility for their career and growth. I am responsible for continuing my learning and maintaining my skill set. To that end though, I choose to work places that encourage and support that since it's in their own interest.

Agreed, I think companies that foster an environment of growth and learning ultimately become more competitive in the market and have an easier time innovating, so its a big plus from the shareholder equity side, but certainly not their responsibility to elevate each and every employee.
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