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R U OK?

ruok.org.au

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Re: R U OK?

#141

Post by antepodius »

ARandomerDude wrote: post #120
bradenb wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of course we deserve to be OK. Every species* deserves to be OK and every species fights to be OK. We have a lot of work to do to make sure we don't ruin our "host," but the fact that we are aware of the problem already--to me--says a lot about our desire to give up some comforts for a greater good. I think as a species we're always just doing the best we think we (collectively) can do at any given time. Some individ…

> Every species* deserves to be OK Please don't take this is as contrarian trolling, but as a catalyst for reflection: what makes that statement true? What is the foundation for us deserving to be OK?

I want it to be true, therefore it is.

There doesn't have to be a 'logical' basis for values. You can just declare them, and go from there, and as long as you don't end up with contradictions you're fine. If you do get to contradictions, then work it out there, whatever.

Re: R U OK?

#142

Post by ericmcer »

asdffdsa wrote: post #131
ericmcer wrote: post #96

Something I am struggling with recently is less am I ok, but more do we as humans deserve to be ok? When I look at the freeways full of cars, streets lined with overflowing garbage cans, homeless encampments, grocery stores with row after row of cheap meat under fluorescent light. Am I supposed to feel ok? It many times feels as though we are a virus decimating our host environment. The constant flood of bad news com…

I guess the one thing that holds me back from acting more selflessly than I do is that we don't appreciate the efforts of goodwill of others, and we reward selfishness. I pay 45% of my income in taxes? The message is "pay your fair share". Pick up a piece of trash and put it in the garbage can? More litter will replace it when you walk by it the next time. Work extra hard to make sure a project is completed? "You're…

My favorite example of this comes from my ~10 years working at grocery stores before I made it into the tech industry. An older lady would come in and just clean us out of our cheap ground beef. This was at trader joe's, we sold 1 pound plastic wrapped cubes for $2.99. She would come in and buy ~20 every week. I finally asked her what she was doing with all this ground beef and she explained how it was for her two big dogs and laughed about how spoiled they were.

She was totally oblivious about her actions and their implications, completely content with her lifestyle, probably even felt good about how healthy her dogs were. Viewed through a different lens she is abhorrent, single-handedly undoing the work of 20 vegetarians all because her dogs are too good for regular dog food.

Re: R U OK?

#143

Post by master-litty »

throwaway_ruok wrote: post #42

Not okay. It's a worrying time being a Chinese person. On the one hand, I don't support CCP (hence the throw away); I find the dictatorship very troubling. Furthermore, the growing patriotism and nationalism makes me anxious about the next generation of Chinese. On the other hand, many people outside tend to treat Chinese people and CCP as a whole, and denounce and dismiss everything we do. More and more people sugge…

Quite the opposite, you bring value into all of our lives by sharing your perspective — Insight is one of the most precious gifts. Thank you for that.

There is nothing for you to apologize for.

Re: R U OK?

#144

Post by cmehdy »

hirundo wrote: post #113
cmehdy wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The freeing bit in that is the sense of agency and control. We are very very attached to those things because in the construction blueprints of our minds we anchor a sense of self and a sense of happiness unconditionally with control and agency. Most people don't realize just how much they actually do this because they consider themselves healthy so it's out of their mind, but for people at the edge these words take…

> figuring out how to put an increasing amount ... distance between you and your end. I disagree. Death should be held close, to give value to life: "Death is our eternal companion. It is always to our left, an arm's length behind us. Death is the only wise adviser that a warrior has. Whenever he feels that everything is going wrong and he's about to be annihilated, he can turn to his death and ask if that is so. His…

Death is always close. You can always throw yourself under a train, or a car can hit you while crossing the road. Heart attack. Robbery. Whatever it is.

Keeping some distance between you and a designed act to end yourself comfortably is helpful because when you're in a state of despair you do need to take some perspective before impulsively acting.

Impulses are powerful and very often not something we actually wanted to do in hindsight, and this extends beyond an on/off switch for life (for example into sexuality, or aggressive behaviour).

There's a difference between being present in the flow of the moment and embracing chaos. "Loving-kindness" towards yourself is part of that difference.

Re: R U OK?

#145

Post by hrktb »

anm89 wrote: post #119

Remember, if you are in the US at least, and someone tells you they aren't ok, and you recommend a crisis line, and they mention anything regarding suicide, they are very likely going to be extracted from their living situation by force and end up incarcerated at very high expense to themselves. If their life was going poorly before that, it sure won't be better after. edit: as another poster mentioned, the record of…

It's depressing that The Onion headlines are becomming more and more milder version of reality. There was a skit a while ago about wounded people fleeing ambulances to escape debt hell, what we have here is arguably worse.

Re: R U OK?

#146

Post by mthoms »

josuepeq wrote: post #54

The U.S. needs this day, especially this year. With the unmitigated disaster of 2020, I’m “probably not ok,” but I am not in any danger to myself or others. Quite the opposite - I’m optimistic that things are moving in the right direction. I mean, it can’t get worse: - Shutdown my consulting Business in February because I didn’t feel comfortable with being around new people constantly with a t-cell deficient immune s…

I lost a best friend to suicide so I can sort of relate (especially to the "it's not your fault" talk). I'm so sorry for your losses.

Re: R U OK?

#148

Post by parliament32 »

ericmcer wrote: post #142
asdffdsa wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess the one thing that holds me back from acting more selflessly than I do is that we don't appreciate the efforts of goodwill of others, and we reward selfishness. I pay 45% of my income in taxes? The message is "pay your fair share". Pick up a piece of trash and put it in the garbage can? More litter will replace it when you walk by it the next time. Work extra hard to make sure a project is completed? "You're…

My favorite example of this comes from my ~10 years working at grocery stores before I made it into the tech industry. An older lady would come in and just clean us out of our cheap ground beef. This was at trader joe's, we sold 1 pound plastic wrapped cubes for $2.99. She would come in and buy ~20 every week. I finally asked her what she was doing with all this ground beef and she explained how it was for her two bi…

I don't want this to sound like an attack but what's the issue? Heaven forbid someone feeds their pets the food they're supposed to eat instead of some hyper-processed and unregulated sawdust pellets.

Re: R U OK?

#149

Post by groby_b »

ericmcer wrote: post #96

Something I am struggling with recently is less am I ok, but more do we as humans deserve to be ok? When I look at the freeways full of cars, streets lined with overflowing garbage cans, homeless encampments, grocery stores with row after row of cheap meat under fluorescent light. Am I supposed to feel ok? It many times feels as though we are a virus decimating our host environment. The constant flood of bad news com…

> I guess we do not have the power, we are not responsible for the way the world is, and we do not have to bear the guilt for it.

We are all responsible, and we all have a tiny bit of power we can use. If we abdicate that, yes, we have to bear the guilt for it. That doesn't mean we have to fix it, but we do have to do something to make a fix more likely, even in the small.

If that's depressing, I find solace in Rabbi Tarfon: "It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it". Knowing it is not my duty to finish it makes it more bearable to only be able to act in the small.

Edit: I do not mean to fault you for how you think about the situation, and I'm not sure if this came sufficiently across - I merely mean to point out a different mindset that might help deal with the feeling of powerlessness.

Re: R U OK?

#150

Post by AlwaysRock »

hrktb wrote: post #145
anm89 wrote: post #119

Remember, if you are in the US at least, and someone tells you they aren't ok, and you recommend a crisis line, and they mention anything regarding suicide, they are very likely going to be extracted from their living situation by force and end up incarcerated at very high expense to themselves. If their life was going poorly before that, it sure won't be better after. edit: as another poster mentioned, the record of…

It's depressing that The Onion headlines are becomming more and more milder version of reality. There was a skit a while ago about wounded people fleeing ambulances to escape debt hell, what we have here is arguably worse.

I had an ambulance called for me years ago when I passed out in public (nothing serious) and it was fairly difficult to convince the EMT's that I didn't want to nor needed to go to the hospital.
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