Such diagnostics raises troubling ethical concerns. I certainly know many on the spectrum that are perfectly fine with who they are, but if prospective parents had the ability to terminate based on some x% probability an unborn child might be 'mildly'/'moderately'/'severely' autistic...
In my attempts to discover the secret behind perfect social interaction, people I've spoken to have been unable to explain exactly how they do it. It seems reasonable to assume that the brains of social animals are specially tuned to learn social interaction quickly, as such individuals would more quickly form a cohesive group with better survival potential (historically speaking). The question of authenticity, thoug…
Well unfortunately there are people that can perfectly conceal their true feelings and intentions. Perhaps they are the ones that you need to interview. Though I suppose by definition they won't be very forthcoming.
There are far more people who effortlessly self-modify to believe and feel what is most socially helpful, without conscious consideration. We call them “normal”.
In my attempts to discover the secret behind perfect social interaction, people I've spoken to have been unable to explain exactly how they do it. It seems reasonable to assume that the brains of social animals are specially tuned to learn social interaction quickly, as such individuals would more quickly form a cohesive group with better survival potential (historically speaking). The question of authenticity, thoug…
Just drink a couple beers and you'll discover the secret...not caring.
I can’t really recommend it because of how likely you are to do something stupid but lots and lots of alcohol fueled socializing is how I leveled up my social skills over the course of one summer. It also caused an audible change in the prosody of my speech, going from unusually monotone to more expressive.
Well unfortunately there are people that can perfectly conceal their true feelings and intentions. Perhaps they are the ones that you need to interview. Though I suppose by definition they won't be very forthcoming.
I think it's very interesting. I, like I suppose many people in this thread, am virtually always consciously masking in interactions with people. I'm also happy to explain this to folks who are interested, and I haven't ever been called out on it, so you could say that I'm "perfect" in that regard. I doubt whether I adhere perfectly to "normal" behavior, but people don't ask about it, at least. I think it's just a ma…
> The biggest thing I've learned is that I don't really like myself when I'm in full-facsimile mode, and so I consciously try to lower the facade whenever possible, but it's difficult after a lifetime of training by social sanctions
Care to elaborate on this? What is the facsimile mode? My intuition tells me it’s the mirroring of the social interaction. If that’s what you mean I might have similar feelings towards it, I sometimes find some interactions awkward if I am too aware. If im lost in the flow it all goes much better
In my attempts to discover the secret behind perfect social interaction, people I've spoken to have been unable to explain exactly how they do it. It seems reasonable to assume that the brains of social animals are specially tuned to learn social interaction quickly, as such individuals would more quickly form a cohesive group with better survival potential (historically speaking). The question of authenticity, thoug…
Just drink a couple beers and you'll discover the secret...not caring.
Caring is a big one. And for that I may just tell them Im socially handicapped jokingly and then immediately I stop caring and become more social. Sure, there are some limits, I still have a hard time being at large parties where the noise is disorienting and find myself stepping out for some fresh air more frequently. These interactions drain my batteries but are sometimes necessary.
What if all children start off as autistic and gradually develop situational and emotional awareness? Some never do.
I would find that hard to believe given how severely autism impacts some people. Things like being non-verbal, or extremely sensitive to noise, don't seem to be things you can just learn as a child to avoid.
And if the only difference was in childhood learning, you would expect that people with asbergers would be able to learn at least some of that situational awareness later in life. Based on people I know with asbergers, for many of them that is not the case - they never get even close to having intuition about social situations, they just end up memorizing rules and applying them when they seem to fit. Rather than intuitively knowing someone is angry/sad/etc. they use the rules they have memorized to make that determination. It is a completely different way of thinking. Of course this doesn't apply to everyone with autism (it is an extremely diverse disorder) but I think it shows that there is a significant difference outside of just what was learned in childhood.
> Just so you know, this is not an uncommon complaint in any romantic relationship. It's worth so much to be able to just ask, and the other party examines the issue and their feelings and simply tells you.
Until your partner gets tired of asking or being asked...
My wife asks all the time, and I don't get tired of it. In fact, it's refreshing, because everyone else has always just assumed the worst in a given situation and decided to "get back" at me for whatever they perceive. To this day there are many people who outright refuse to talk to me over a grudge from something I have no idea about ("you know what's wrong!"). Hell, I've even lost jobs over this kind of thing.
That's sort of the problem. I don't have a solid baseline to work against. I observe certain behaviors like facial expressions (smiling convincingly is especially difficult), discussions about irrelevant things (except that they serve a social function), looking into someone's eyes (very difficult), certain postures that have meaning (you're bored, you're angry, you're... something) . It's a lot to keep straight in y…
Eyes! Eyes! Is what I tell my 13 year old daughter. But she is far more comfortable looking away while in conversation. The theory that has resonated most with me is that both facial interpretations and language processing are very cerebral processor intensive. Turning off your facial tracking algorithm by looking away frees more brain nodes to help with processing and thinking about what you are hearing and saying.…
Im 40 and still have this problem. I remember my father saying “look into my eyes”, doing it then my mind going immediately blank. Now I don’t care, I just look away when I need to. It’s a quirk that I don’t care how it’s interpreted. And I noticed that it matters where one looks away: up slightly to right for accessing some type of thoughts, down for a deeper thinking mode, etc. I’ve been pondering for a while whether Im on the spectrum or not. I have the empathy, too much of it. I don’t have the social scripts and always have to improvise and that is tiring after a while. I often wondered how come nobody told me what to do in certain situations and I wished i was educated by someone on this. But the truth is that this is simply picked up naturally and never taught. Yes, my father suspected I may be on the spectrum but back then a lot less was known.
In my attempts to discover the secret behind perfect social interaction, people I've spoken to have been unable to explain exactly how they do it. It seems reasonable to assume that the brains of social animals are specially tuned to learn social interaction quickly, as such individuals would more quickly form a cohesive group with better survival potential (historically speaking). The question of authenticity, thoug…
I would advice to get a hold on the book "The inner game of tennis", which is, exactly like it sounds, a book on tennis training. Except when it's not. It hold advices that can be generalized to improve your ability to learn without using analysis and develop natural actions in a given field. Apply it to social interactions. Those are much better for everyone involved when you mostly instinctively react, yet subtly a…
I spent my early 20s doing this, and stopped after a few caring people pulled me aside and told me to stop doing strange things X, Y, Z.
I have high-functioning autism. Does anyone have some suggestions for making and keeping friends? When I meet a friend, things seem to go really well at first, and then my friend seems to slowly get bored of the interactions we have, and after a couple months I just don't hear from them again. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Is there a scientific way to find out?
I have an aspergers son and run a 120-member social group for autistic adults and I can say that the #1 issue for the autistic wrt social interaction skills is that they care too much about the audience. I wrote a blogpost about it: https://ericlifeadvise.blogspot.com/2020/02/caring-what-othe...