141–150 of 178 posts
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This works well for women, not so well for men. For men, typically making a visible effort will cause your spouse to perceive you as weak and low value. This will only make things worse.
You sound young and/or divorced. No amount of effort will make up for a bad match.
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I recommend The Red Queen if you want to start learning about this. The short answer: men largely choose mates based on looks; women choose based more on social status. Signalling low social status reduces male attractiveness; signalling high social status raises it. n = 1, but this has worked for me. Deliberately act like you can take it or leave it, and you're unlikely to be left. (And note that women initiate the…
Both you and yummyfajitas are making the classic error of espousing an unpopular opinion amongst people who tend to irrationally believe magical romantic things about evolved bags of meat. It's a fairly well established biological fact( caveat - there are of course exceptions )that female primates, including humans, respond sexually favorably toward high status behavior on the part of males. The Red Queen is a good b…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I recommend The Red Queen if you want to start learning about this. The short answer: men largely choose mates based on looks; women choose based more on social status. Signalling low social status reduces male attractiveness; signalling high social status raises it. n = 1, but this has worked for me. Deliberately act like you can take it or leave it, and you're unlikely to be left. (And note that women initiate the…
Both you and yummyfajitas are making the classic error of espousing an unpopular opinion amongst people who tend to irrationally believe magical romantic things about evolved bags of meat. It's a fairly well established biological fact( caveat - there are of course exceptions )that female primates, including humans, respond sexually favorably toward high status behavior on the part of males. The Red Queen is a good b…
I find it a little odd to be given advice by people that sound like they never even have been near an "evolved bag of meat" of the female kind --much less maintained a successful relation.
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I always found this very scary. If I'm not the largest influencer (positive/negative) then I have bigger problems to worry about.
There was an article in the NYTimes called "Are your Friends Making you Fat?" that's surprisingly relevant to that comment: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/magazine/13contagion-t.htm...
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It's the difference between "do" and "should". He's saying the book claims to explain human behavior; it doesn't recommend or justify that behavior.
Yet others are using it to recommend and justify the behavior.
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This works well for women, not so well for men. For men, typically making a visible effort will cause your spouse to perceive you as weak and low value. This will only make things worse.
What!? You can be thoughtful and accommodating without being a doormat which is what you appear to be alluding to. Breaking this down to an evolutionary biology standpoint, what advantage would that sort of psychology provide the woman? It has the opposite effect on the intended outcomes, that of security and stability from which to raise offspring. The whole treat em mean, keep them keen mentality might work in the…
It leads her to believe your genetic material is of a higher quality than she could normally gain access to.
Eventually the woman is going to go elsewhere to obtain the security and stability a healthy relationship provides.
Sometimes. But that's a better outcome than if she stays with you and goes elsewhere for higher quality genetic material, which is far more common than most people believe.
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This works well for women, not so well for men. For men, typically making a visible effort will cause your spouse to perceive you as weak and low value. This will only make things worse.
You overlook the fact that making effort (and most importantly following through) gets you sex. Happy wife = happy life. It's not beneath you to try to make your partner happy. And if she responds the way you're implying - I'm sorry, something is probably wrong with her.
Not in my experience.
As for your "happy wife = happy life" theory, I'd strongly suggest running very fast away from women who implement this theory. You don't want people in your life who will drag you down to their level.
if she responds the way you're implying - I'm sorry, something is probably wrong with her.
In that case, something is probably wrong with most women.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?_r=1&#...
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Both you and yummyfajitas are making the classic error of espousing an unpopular opinion amongst people who tend to irrationally believe magical romantic things about evolved bags of meat. It's a fairly well established biological fact( caveat - there are of course exceptions )that female primates, including humans, respond sexually favorably toward high status behavior on the part of males. The Red Queen is a good b…
Both you and yummyfajitas are making the classic error of falling for cynical pop-science just so stories. This evolutionary psychology and biology stuff applied to humans is still pretty new and pretty far from "well established biological fact", and it comes with all the caveats of human behavioral research plus the added trappings of being a scientific fad. In particular, there is plenty of room in evo-psych for p…