A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life • Hacker News Board

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#141

Post by WalterBright » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:37 AM UTC

greggman2 wrote: post #136

WalterBright wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every day, every year, every one of the six decades past 1944 was a cherry on top gift. My father, B-17 navigator, said he accepted that he was going to die in combat. The odds at the time of surviving were terrible (about 80% casualties). He did survive (hence my existence), and told me th…

This seems trivally easy to counter. Should the starving homeless person look at every day as a blessing? How about the sex traded slaves? "They were going to live another day, what did they have to be concerned about?" I'm not trying to discount your point that you should have some gratitude or put things in perspective but happiness requires much more than just not dying. If nothing else your father had a wife and…

Starvation and rape aren't everyday life concerns for Americans. Everyday life concerns are my car won't start, my date stood me up, will I get that promotion, I haven't got a thing to wear, the cabbie overcharged me, etc.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#142

Post by sabas123 » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:38 AM UTC

chillwaves wrote: post #124

starpilot wrote: post #103

This is why people make fun of HN. How to be a billionaire: Work hard! How to start a business: Start working, believe in yourself! Now that I've read OP article, I realize what I've been doing wrong all my life. I had disabled my "fun" switch. Glad someone finally pointed it out. Everything is so much better now, wow! Thank you!

I value this comment. I find the original article akin to associating a good "soul" or a condemned "soul". It is hand waving simplicity against the complex reality of biological limitations. Some people simply have more endurance for the suffering of life, better motivation or better opportunity and environment. I want everyone to live to seek their potential, but there is no answer to finding peace (or happiness) in…

> It is hand waving simplicity against the complex reality of biological limitations. Some people simply have more endurance for the suffering of life, better motivation or better opportunity and environment.

I expected the general population of HN to be well trained enough to instantly realize this. I guess it was my fault for tricking myself in believing I could find such a place.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#143

Post by Ntrails » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:42 AM UTC

chillwaves wrote: post #123

Diederich wrote: post #23

I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most of his buddies in Guadalcanal and Burma during World War II, and, in his own words, fully expected to become worm food himself. He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every da…

I find this a cavalier attitude. I'm glad that your grandpa seems to have life a life fulfilled, but that's not the reality for many folks. If his biology allows him to trudge on, to always see the silver lining, how can you call this wisdom? Some people have a lower tolerance for suffering. Some people do not find life worth living, maybe for biological reasons. The reason I don't call this wisdom is because for man…

To quote a slightly off beat song...

    How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood
    And then just be in a good mood?
    That's all I have to say because it's a straight up fact
    You control your emotions it's as simple as that

That's the core of the argument in basically all these things. I'm not saying it's true, but it is a perspective on life. :)

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#144

Post by WalterBright » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:46 AM UTC

ido wrote: post #130

m463 wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've learned the most about life from "character building experiences". They are usually unpleasant. They could be as simple as somone telling you not to be stupid, or as complicated as finding lessons out the hard way. The experiences give you the resolve or clues or whatever to avoid bad choices, or appreciate good ones. Or help others understand (if they're receptive).

It could! And it can also fuck you up for life. My grandfather was a teenager during WW2. He was a Polish Jew and lucky to have seen the writing on the wall and fled eastwards when the Nazis invaded (almost the entire rest of his large family died in the holocaust - his only living relative was his brother, who died as a soldier in 1948 in the Israeli war of independence). He had a horrible time during the war but ev…

I tentatively agree that character isn't built by extreme hardships. But I do suspect that being shot at would determine what kind of a man you are, and there's no way to know that in advance.

For example, being a navigator, my father sat up front behind the bombardier. There's a plexiglass hemisphere in the nose. The Me-109's favorite attack plan was the head on attack (because the B-17's had a gap in coverage in the front). He said you can see the cannon flash as they fired at him (usually aiming for the pilots, who were right behind my father's position, thinking "how can they miss".

What would you do in such a situation? Nobody can tell in advance.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#145

Post by saiya-jin » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:47 AM UTC

chillwaves wrote: post #123

Diederich wrote: post #23

I was raised by my grandparents. They were born in the 1910s, and grew up in the midwest during the dust bowl and great depression. My grandfather lost most of his buddies in Guadalcanal and Burma during World War II, and, in his own words, fully expected to become worm food himself. He said little, but one phrase he did repeat more than any other was simple: "Any day you're breathing is a good day." To him, every da…

I find this a cavalier attitude. I'm glad that your grandpa seems to have life a life fulfilled, but that's not the reality for many folks. If his biology allows him to trudge on, to always see the silver lining, how can you call this wisdom? Some people have a lower tolerance for suffering. Some people do not find life worth living, maybe for biological reasons. The reason I don't call this wisdom is because for man…

To give far from proper 100% analogy: I don't need somebody to tell me to start exercising to lose weight, I need a goddamn pill to make it happen!

The path to happiness can be complex one, but there are myriads of possible, non-guaranteed routes - exercise, meditation, yoga, drugs legal or not, backpacking in 3rd world, fulfilling jobs, good relationships, kids, etc. Even trying will take you on a path to be a better, more balanced human being.

Nobody will ever 'give you ability to be happy'. Either you will reach it yourself, in your own unique way, or you won't.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#146

Post by sabas123 » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:49 AM UTC

toephu2 wrote: post #65

Haven't seen anyone talk about it but I believe happiness is partly hereditary. It's genetic (not totally, but it must play a big part, since depression is heredity[1]). Just think about yourself and your own natural happiness level. For my siblings and I, it seems very similar to our parents. Of course not everyone is this way but I definitely believe some people are born a lot happier than others. [1]actually the j…

If bad genes are sufficient to make you depressed, then that doesn't imply they are also sufficient for making you any more happy in any point in time.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#147

Post by Shorel » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:50 AM UTC

outworlder wrote: post #84

david-gpu wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And if God doesn't exist, then nothing matters anyways, so why worry? I'm not trying to start a pointless debate, your comment really made me curious. Let's imagine the Christian god doesnt't exist. How does that logically lead to nothing mattering? As a lifelong atheist there are plenty of things that matter to me: the well-being of people (particularly those around me), peace, justice, climate change, etc. Are th…

> And if God doesn't exist, then nothing matters anyways, so why worry? I would argue the opposite: if god does exist, then nothing really matters anymore, except the whims of a powerful entity. Not having a supernatural power meddling in our affairs liberates us to do great things.

I like your idea, and I will add a bit to it.

If we could have a potentially infinite afterlife, or potentially infinite reincarnations, then just one life doesn't matter much.

But if there's no such thing, if there's only this life and nothing after, then every single second being alive is the most valuable thing ever.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#148

Post by Shorel » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 10:55 AM UTC

chillwaves wrote: post #126

coldtea wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> As a lifelong atheist there are plenty of things that matter to me: the well-being of people (particularly those around me), peace, justice, climate change, etc. Are these goals not valuable in themselves? Well, they can be valuable subjectively. Then again, useless things can also be valuable subjectively (e.g. a person obsessing about hoarding BS at their home). But objectively, and in the long scheme of things,…

The point is that life has value, that good experiences have value and that you should build a future for the life to come and not be so self centered. Thank the ones who came before you to make your life possible.

And challenge the political ways of these who came before you.

I inherited and wear my grandfather's hat, I remember him, I drink tea in his honour, but I fight against some of the things he believed and fought for.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#149

Post by tonyedgecombe » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 11:12 AM UTC

UnpossibleJim wrote: post #90

Weirdly enough, I was having a chat with my mom about this sort of thing last night (she's 69, not 70, so I'm not sure she's old enough for her opinion to count, yet). Both of us were chatting about our tendency to be solitary and only see family and a couple of core friends. Past that, we'll hide away in books and study for days and not notice, perfectly happy but when we have to come out of our houses we are out of…

which is supposed to be the key to long life and happiness

I often wonder about that. I'm sure if someone is gregarious and outgoing then they would suffer if they were deprived of social contact. Is this the same for introverts? I wonder if any of the studies on this control for introversion/extroversion.

Re: A 70-year-old's secret to a full and happy life

#150

Post by Shorel » Thu, Nov 21, 2019, 11:14 AM UTC

yters wrote: post #36

m0zg wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

An atheist myself, but I imagine this has to do with the lack of eternal life after death in that case. Religious people find the idea of life after death comforting, and it's easy to understand why: most people fear death and can't comprehend their consciousness ending at some point, for the same reasons why we can't comprehend things like the big bang or infinity. There is, by definition, no example that we could p…

No, I mean something more practical, not based in religious reasoning. If you think about it, if God does not exist, then death has no threat, since once you are dead you cease to exist and no longer care about anything. I believe this was pointed out by Epicurus.

Yes, but this reasoning seems to put too much value on the last moments of your life and the actual act of dying.

I would say it's all the other moments that make life valuable, not its end.