Highly recommend reading 'The Courage to be Disliked' it may not revolve around 'privacy' but makes you think a lot about the 'self-validation' feedback we are trained to think we need... it helped me cement a decision to leave social media and other things in general within my personality.
I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
141–150 of 272 posts
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#142I never had facebook, irc and some forum was everything I wanted, exchange of knowlidge and ideas. In term of "beeing nobody" I never cared. I am 42, highly valued in technical circles. Lots of friends, paragliding, mountain biking. Never had a car. Didnt need it. Lots of friends to go for a beer with. I use phone, sms, email to communicate with real, physical friends. Never been unemployed. There is just nothing "social media" can offer to me.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#143The people who have successfully quit online social media aren't going to be the ones posting and discussing it online - whether on NYT, Hacker News, Reddit or anywhere else.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#144I quit social media for a long time too. And then I noticed how disconnected I was from all my old school friends and contacts. Even close family that still uses Facebook but I otherwise don’t talk to much directly (brother’s wives posting about their kids and stuff like that, maybe even more extended than that). Really, I’m starting to think that opting out of social media altogether is a bit like opting to be a her…
>I quit social media for a long time too. And then I noticed how disconnected I was from all my old school friends and contacts.
As opposed to faux-connected through FB though?
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#145Fame and success is still valued by society writ large. This is deeper than this most recent social media layer. I also left social media but I feel just as much pressure as before because the people who I hang around with (who themselves are on social media, but that's not the only reason they act that way) directly or indirectly put pressure on incentive levers which all in all culminate in me preferring to be a "somebody" rather than a "nobody".
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#146I quit social media for a long time too. And then I noticed how disconnected I was from all my old school friends and contacts. Even close family that still uses Facebook but I otherwise don’t talk to much directly (brother’s wives posting about their kids and stuff like that, maybe even more extended than that). Really, I’m starting to think that opting out of social media altogether is a bit like opting to be a her…
Don't conflate the medium with the quality of interaction. Not on FB != hermit, that's just what Facebook wants you to believe. I prefer deep personal relationships with few over hyper connectivity. Others may want a broader, shallower network; neither is wrong just define happiness for yourself.
yeah, I've never understood myspace or FB. I remember when myspace was first blowing up, people were talking about having 100 friends, which always blew me away. I couldn't imagine trying to keep up with that many friends.
I had a brief 1-2 year stint on FB where someone finally convinced me to get on it, and I had 13 friends on there. All of them people I know and hang out with regularly in real life. All I ever did was post funny things I came across, and I eventually got pushed off during the election cycle because I got REALLY sick of seeing all the misinformation about hilary and trump (both sides were doing it).
I just don't understand FB.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#147Many years ago someone told me that we should care about our mental hygiene as much as we care about the hygiene of the food that we consume. I quit FB two years ago after 11 years of active use. For a few weeks after deleting my account, I had these temptations to go back but after two months, I totally forgot about it and after two years, I'm very happy about leaving the platform. I also realized that it wasn't jus…
I feel similar. Years ago, I used to be very into YouTube. I followed the channels I loved closely and loved discovering new channels. It felt like I could search for any topic I was interested in and find a small, cool channel about it.
Then yesterday for example I was reading an article about tornado alley and wanted to watch some storm chasing videos on Youtube. My searches just turned up page after page of "Family Vlog" clickbait, with people using their frightened kids as the thumbnail picture. Was so off-putting that it killed my interest.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#148I do get the point of the author and I share it's thoughts and values, but for me it went quite different.
I have never been a really social person. I have never had many friends. No one really asks me ever where I have been or what I have been doing or whatever. I used facebook to shitpost. To shitpost a lot and MAYBE get a few likes. It worked. It worked for way too long. Then someday i literally fell on my head, my depression got way worse and I finally started working on it.
I then realized that I had no values at all. I always felt like facebook is bad, but i never acted accordingly. So I quit that. I thought 'yeah, maybe i will feel better now.' and i do. I feel great. But now, I don't even have anyone to contact and ask if there is something going on on the weekend or if people want to go out. I don't really have anyones number either (because i deleted A LOT of my private stuff in a furious rage). Now I am alone and I don't know how to get out of it. Social media is no option though, I don't want to be that attention seeking person anymore. I want to be the person i am and find people who like me for that exact reason. I just don't know how.
End of story: Quitting social media made me a better person, but if I add everything together i don't feel better (yet)
Woops. Went a bit offtopic, but whatever. Thanks for reading.
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#149I've got around 20 "friends" on FB (mostly family, and not really posting anymore), but subscribed to many feeds (mostly bands I like)
If they ever add RSS to their own websites, I will have no more reason to be on FB.
Please make RSS a thing again !
On the other hand, I was reading a tweeter feed an hour ago, and I was so disgusted by the hatred of the exchange that I told myself (again...) "Why are you inflicting this on your sanity ?"
Re: I used to fear being a nobody, then I left social media
#150The people who have successfully quit online social media aren't going to be the ones posting and discussing it online - whether on NYT, Hacker News, Reddit or anywhere else.
It's a bit like englightment isn't it? Not in terms of rarity of course, but the ones who reach it don't preach it about it.