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Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

blog.chaddickerson.com

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Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#141

Post by wasdfff »

zapzupnz wrote: post #131
ahje wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I tried, and ended up losing contact with pretty much all of my family. Facebook is so deeply integrated with their daily lives that they consider e-mails, phone calls and SMS'es to be an unneccesary hassle. After a while I had to get a new Facebook account, because people kept messaging my wife over messenger, asking her to forward the messages to me.

This. When you try to tell people this, especially here on HN, they say "well, people should just change to suit you or they're not worth contacting". The arrogance of the technically minded can be astounding; it took ten years to get our acquaintances on Facebook, they're not going to change just because we say so.

Sure, you won’t get passively invited to things, but if you regularly are keeping in touch with people they will invite you to things anyway.

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#142

Post by stephencweiss »

wyattpeak wrote: post #61

There's one aspect of Facebook which seems to always be ignored by these "deleting Facebook" posts and it confuses me. I've never really scrolled through the frontpage, I don't look at people's posts and photos, happy to message them through text or WhatsApp, but I absolutely need the events. Without them, I'd lose so much touch with all but my closest friends. People tend to respond to this concern with "if they don…

Agree that it's the biggest hurdle to overcome. I did delete facebook and I'm sure I miss out on some events as a result.

To your specific concern about meeting up with folks who "aren't that great a friend" - my solution has been the one-on-one coffees and it forces me to be much more mindful about who/how I reach out to.

I think catching up can be fun though. It doesn't need to be pressure filled if you're genuinely curious about what's happening in someone else's life, because we are all trying to do our best and that looks really different for different people.

Getting together with folks allows you to see how other people approach it if you ask questions.

This just got a lot more meta than Facebook, but hopefully there's something here that's helpful :)

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#143

Post by tammer »

I’ve been banging this drum for a while, but to me it’s clear as day: the company that cracks this and makes the process described within easier and monetizable will be the next unicorn.

People are starving for ownership of a one-to-many communication address (which email is designed for, but has not been well executed by email clients since email has been seen first as business/office tech).

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#144

Post by timbit42 »

troquerre wrote: post #65

I made a chrome extension that blocks my Facebook news feed but still allows me to use messenger and see notifications. I'd estimate that I use FB ~90% less now. News feed was the biggest distraction — their algorithm is incredibly optimized to suck you into the rabbit hole. My chrome extension in case anyone is interested: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/marathon/nkhecjgkf...

Another good FB plug-in is FBPurity. You can disable all kinds of things including the newsfeed.

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#145

Post by NoPicklez »

bigbugbag wrote: post #78
NoPicklez wrote: post #55

Lesson 2: Email is more intimate and leads to better conversations. Lesson 3: You control the narrative completely in email which provides a much better opportunity for story-telling. Facebook Messenger? Facebook isn't just a place to post publicly on your wall. Arguably the reason why Facebook messenger exists on the platform is provide intimacy.

Anything that exists on facebook is there to profit facebook not the user. if facebook messenger exists, it is not to provide intimacy but for some reasons aligned with facebook interests such as getting the people online on facebook longer to peek further in their life and social links to feed the investor storytime narrative that facebook will collect more data to eventually be able to target people efficiently eno…

That's not what I or the user was referring to.

The user and I are referring to the difference in posting and discussing as a public post rather than talking through Messenger or email which is a more intimate service because its not broadcast publicly.

Not the information and data privacy behind what Facebook might do or not do with that information behind the scenes.

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#147

Post by eeeeeeeeeeeee »

wyattpeak wrote: post #61

There's one aspect of Facebook which seems to always be ignored by these "deleting Facebook" posts and it confuses me. I've never really scrolled through the frontpage, I don't look at people's posts and photos, happy to message them through text or WhatsApp, but I absolutely need the events. Without them, I'd lose so much touch with all but my closest friends. People tend to respond to this concern with "if they don…

It’s a valid concern, but I couldn’t contribute to that unethical company any longer. I held on for a while but deactivated last month. It will be deleted beginning of February.

Also, if anything, I had noticed fewer people using Facebook for anything over the past few years, including events.

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#148

Post by eeeeeeeeeeeee »

gnicholas wrote: post #4

> My email list is broadcast-only but any replies go directly to me. This sort of mass-email is weirdly impersonal because it tells the recipient that you want them to know what you're up to, but you don't want to write a message just to them. Also, it would be very awkward to opt-out ("hey dude, um please don't send me your mass-email updates anymore."), unlike company emails which there's no awkwardness around unsu…

Why not ask people to opt-in to your list? That’s how I would do it. I definitely have close friends and family that would be interested and it would eliminate 80% of the “friends” from Facebook I have no interest in conversing with at all.

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#149

Post by eeeeeeeeeeeee »

gnicholas wrote: post #15
Gys wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> weirdly impersonal because it tells the recipient that you want them to know what you're up to, but you don't want to write a message just to them. Also, it would be very awkward to opt-out ("hey dude, um please don't send me your mass-email updates anymore.") You mean, like a post on FB ? Or Tweeting ? Readable for all ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ ? Who very likely are not really interested in your message ?

If you follow someone on Twitter, that means you want to get their updates. And it's trivially easy to mute people on Twitter/FB so that you can stop seeing people's messages without risking offending them or hurting their feelings. Another reply mentions having people who don't want to read your email newsletter set up filters to get rid of them. This is possible, but more work than a two-click mute on social media…

I think it’s interesting this point that keeps coming up about “offending” people.

If someone posts a heartfelt post on Facebook and not a single person likes or comments, isn’t there the same outcome?

Re: Going old school: how I replaced Facebook with email

#150

Post by ahje »

wasdfff wrote: post #141
zapzupnz wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. When you try to tell people this, especially here on HN, they say "well, people should just change to suit you or they're not worth contacting". The arrogance of the technically minded can be astounding; it took ten years to get our acquaintances on Facebook, they're not going to change just because we say so.

Sure, you won’t get passively invited to things, but if you regularly are keeping in touch with people they will invite you to things anyway.

That's the problem: pretty much everyone I know -- including my mother, who started claiming I was hard to get hold of when I asked her to call instead of messaging my wife on Facebook -- stopped keeping in touch. Most people I know simply don't want to talk over the phone, send SMS'es, or use emails ("email is for signing up to various services and resetting passwords").
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