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Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

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Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#141

Post by tome »

onion2k wrote: post #90
Traubenfuchs wrote: post #54

Stop treating being an impostor as something bad. See yourself as con artist who succeeds in senior developer, architect and management jobs without the required skills.

Impostor syndrome is bad because you fear being fired for not being able to do your job, or being dropped as a speaker because you're not worth listening to, or your career stalling because you can't compete with other people who seem to be better than you. Suggesting that sufferers accept that might actually be true is not helpful.

But even people who are good at their job can be fired for not being (perceived as) able to do their job, or for any number of other reasons. Imposter Syndrome must be bad for reasons other than "I fear I might get fired".

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#142

Post by titzer »

buserror wrote: post #139
eeZah7Ux wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "am I the only one who sees what a load of shit this is?" Disillusionment.

Not really. Experience induced clarity. I'm like OP. I've been in the tech industry for a stupid amount of years, and I swear I can improvise a CEO grade speech for any circumstance.

> I swear I can improvise a CEO grade speech for any circumstance.

Ouch, watch out with that attitude. CEOs are full of bluster and no action, so you might be risking becoming what you hate.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#143

Post by scandox »

philbarr wrote: post #122

Does anyone else get that feeling like, "am I the only one who sees what a load of shit this is?" I don't think it's imposter syndrome per se, but it's related. It's like, "I'm the only one who can see the truth." An example: years ago my old crooked boss brought everyone in to his huge office to tell us why he couldn't afford to give people the pay rise they'd been asking for. With a straight face and with his Aston…

Seems to me this is kind of the opposite of impostor syndrome which is a kind of anxious humility in which we fear that everyone else is smarter and wiser than ourselves.

In the case you describe, you are divided between a suspicion that everyone else is an idiot (and you are wise) or that everybody is equally aware, but you've all learned to live the lie.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#144

Post by jonnybgood »

nambit wrote: post #133

What's the opposite? I feel like I'm smarter than everybody else here (big 5 tech). Including Principal engineers, CEOs and VPs. I'll talk to some random engineer who might impress me once in a while but for the most part, there's a lot of smart people but there's a lot of dumb people. I consider myself near the top. I know this might feel like /r/iamverysmart but I'm self aware enough to know that what I feel is not…

> How do I combat this feeling of superiority?

Whether you think it’s the truth or not, nobody cares. People care about results. If you’re not producing superior results relative to your peers, then you’re not superior to anything. This should go without saying.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#145

Post by onion2k »

ramblerman wrote: post #125
onion2k wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Impostor syndrome is bad because you fear being fired for not being able to do your job, or being dropped as a speaker because you're not worth listening to, or your career stalling because you can't compete with other people who seem to be better than you. Suggesting that sufferers accept that might actually be true is not helpful.

> Suggesting that sufferers accept that might actually be true is not helpful. On what are you basing that? It's an interesting insight. Thinking of the world as one big pool of impostors might be equally relieving.

Thinking of the world as one big pool of impostors might be equally relieving.

He said "See yourself as con artist...", not "See everyone as con artist..". Believing that most people feel this way may well be helpful. Believing that you're not good at what you do but you've successfully faked it definitely isn't.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#146

Post by buserror »

I've been trying to coach my wife out of this for years and years. She's very smart, dedicated, hard working, talented, analytical and you name it -- she's a fantastic person...

And she has perma-doubts. She recently refused to apply to a directorship position in her job, because she didn't think she could do it.... even tho we both agreed that she'd do a better job than the last 3 in that same position... And still, she doubts... I keep repeating her that the only thing preventing her from doing anything is herself and that I have zero doubt she'd grow to be excellent at that job as well...

Oh well, it'll take time :-)

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#147

Post by baby »

taneq wrote: post #81

I think imposter syndrome can come from 'fronting', trying to always appear perfect, always have all the answers, etc. which leads to ever-increasing fear that people will 'find you out'. Be humble and honest. Don't present yourself as "the expert". Ask questions. Listen to people. Say "I don't know" if you don't know. You'll be surprised how often the response is "me neither!"

> Don't present yourself as "the expert"

This is a requirement for some jobs, like being a consultant :)

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#148

Post by justatdotin »

throwaway84742 wrote: post #30

Why is this article about women? Men suffer from it just the same. There seems to be this perception that men are somehow immune to the various work related shit. That’s not the case at all. The best fix I’ve been able to find is to note and recall significant achievements: delivering projects, getting promoted, getting hired by top companies in the field, graduating with honors from one of the top schools. Think rat…

why not be about women? The article also has a paragraph asserting that men also share this experience.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#149

Post by mseebach »

nambit wrote: post #133

What's the opposite? I feel like I'm smarter than everybody else here (big 5 tech). Including Principal engineers, CEOs and VPs. I'll talk to some random engineer who might impress me once in a while but for the most part, there's a lot of smart people but there's a lot of dumb people. I consider myself near the top. I know this might feel like /r/iamverysmart but I'm self aware enough to know that what I feel is not…

"Smart" isn't a single-dimensional space where you're either smarter or dumber than someone else. You're probably a lot smarter about your domain than anyone else, including top brass. The trick is that those other people operate in different domains in which "smart" looks a bit different.

The antidote is humility. Genuinely and in good faith assume that other people can teach you something. Get out of the habit of asking yes/no questions where you define the premise (except transactional interactions), ask how, what etc. You'll quickly meet people who are smart in domains you barely knew existed.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#150

Post by justatdotin »

cup-of-tea wrote: post #105
throwaway84742 wrote: post #30

Why is this article about women? Men suffer from it just the same. There seems to be this perception that men are somehow immune to the various work related shit. That’s not the case at all. The best fix I’ve been able to find is to note and recall significant achievements: delivering projects, getting promoted, getting hired by top companies in the field, graduating with honors from one of the top schools. Think rat…

This is a good question. Downvoted because it's unfashionably gender neutral, of course. This post should be titled "Is there a fix for impostor syndrome for women?" If you're a man just deal with it, as usual.

the article acknowledges that it is also an issue for men. There is no reason to imagine the 'fix' only applies to women.
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