It is noticeable the resentment in this thread of the arbitrary BS you have to go through when you change classes to not seem awkward. But we should remind ourselves there is a whole bunch of arbitrary BS we common folk are just used to. It isn't that the higher classes have more BS, it is just that it is not ingrained to your experience, so it is frustrating that your habits for interaction do not work. I would prefer we get rid of lots of arbitrary BS at every level, but unfortunately you can't fight the system.
How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
141–150 of 355 posts
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
I highly recommend this book, which is dated but holds up pretty well. I found it funny, sad, but overall just brutal in its characterizations of class in America. It's only available in print too: https://www.amazon.com/Class-Through-American-Status-System/... My overall takeaways from the book were: 1. Class is correlated with income, but not identical. 2. Class is so ingrained in so many areas of our lives that it…
> and upper class people have nothing to prove to anyone. Well, except for each other. And very much so.
Oh god, yes. The upper class can take one-upmanship to absolutely absurd levels.
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#143I spent a summer in NYC a few years ago. While living in NYC I did get a flavor of higher class living with some roommates of mine. It really is true that there are unspoken codes and mores to follow, and it was uncomfortable when I didn't. However, this is one issue that's hard to put solely on the foot of the rich or a broader system. Passing in many avenues, not just by class, is really deciding you want to be the…
> It really is true that there are unspoken codes and mores to follow, and it was uncomfortable when I didn't Any examples spring to mind?
Here are some examples: This entire comments section is extremely middle class. Including my own comment. But particularly all the questions.
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#144As someone who's navigated their way from poor->middle class->upper middle class I can give a bit of perspective that I rarely see mentioned in these articles... One of the biggest barriers to moving up in class is the people in your starter class. Family, friends, neighbors... almost all of them will start to get very aggressive with you if you seriously try to better yourself. I remember being accused of using too…
I am always accused of "trying to be better than everyone" to the point of "stop putting me down, you think you are better than me?!" when I try to drag them along on things like going to the gym or learning to program.
PS, not claiming to be anybody.
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#145As someone who's navigated their way from poor->middle class->upper middle class I can give a bit of perspective that I rarely see mentioned in these articles... One of the biggest barriers to moving up in class is the people in your starter class. Family, friends, neighbors... almost all of them will start to get very aggressive with you if you seriously try to better yourself. I remember being accused of using too…
birth limits you to upper middle class. you can be fabulously wealthy, but if you did not have the upbringing, you can not claim it. however, if you are wealthy, you can buy an upper class lifestyle, and your children will be upper class, while you will not be. in other words, their peers that they grew up with will accept them as upper class (meaning they had an upper-class upbringing), while their parents still con…
I don't understand the appeal of trying to impress a bunch of spoiled *ts. Except when trying to get them to invest.
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#146Earlier quoted context omitted.
Its very difficult to convince people who are immersed in a certain way of living and a certain social order that there exists alternatives.
Class distinction and hierarchy are precisely the sort of social mechanisms that convince people that there exists alternatives to certain modes of living (class aspiration).
What they are going to create a new class? Move up to the next one? Class mobility is a fallacy that was invented to support the hierarchy. Its not an alternative system in any sense.
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#147This article resonates with me on many levels. I went from below $10/hr to 5x that and never experienced anything in between. The struggle is huge, and I keep having to look inside myself to figure out what "my people" is supposed to mean. A huge different that's obvious to me is the language we use. I often wonder why no one's mother didn't fill the these people's mouth with dawn liquid soap and slap the child silly…
> it took me many years to realize that the posters who upvote and share these articles are not only aware of the heavy fog, but are able to read though the fog
Follow the money.
I'm always asking myself "what does this author have to gain from writing this, or holding that position?" It can happen that there is absolutely no financial motive, many times it's pure greed but often it's on a continuum that's a mix of both profit and helping people out.
As an example it's common to find articles about technical problem and how {{top-organization}} solved it with {{state-of-the-art}} solution. The last paragraph is "oh by the way, we're hiring". While there's a profit motive in this form of content marketing, there's also genuine help being passed along.
Business recommendations tend to be a bit more skewed towards the profit side, and financial recommendations… well those are a class of their own.
A health dose of suspicion goes a long way to sort out the BS.
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
Being English is a minefield. Here's an old list but some of it still definitely applies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_non-U_English
Reading all the above comments makes it seem that being British is supremely easy compared to navigating American class.
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Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#149It is noticeable the resentment in this thread of the arbitrary BS you have to go through when you change classes to not seem awkward. But we should remind ourselves there is a whole bunch of arbitrary BS we common folk are just used to . It isn't that the higher classes have more BS, it is just that it is not ingrained to your experience, so it is frustrating that your habits for interaction do not work. I would pre…
> "you cant fight the system"
but we can die trying : ).
Re: How does ‘class-passing’ actually work?
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I often wonder why no one's mother didn't fill the these people's mouth with dawn liquid soap and slap the child silly, but then I realize that honesty wasn't a life or death situation for them. What? This is just child abuse. Please expand on what circumstances in which this considered OK?
In my mind child abuse is hurting a child for selfish reasons and discipline is punishment to cause behavioral changes. Some cultures allow for different severity of punishments. However the intent of the parent is very important when labeling child abuse.
Intent is important, but if there is intent to inflict pain, either as a means or an ends, it is abuse.
Now, it's true that there are further meaningful intent-based distinctions you can make within the broad category of abuse, but that's somewhat beside the point.