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The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

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Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#141

Post by zaarn »

amag wrote: post #65
xor1 wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>men who aren't threatened by women who are more educated (and possibly higher-paid) than they are Do these people actually exist anymore? What kind of man is really going to pass on an otherwise suitable partner just because she's more educated and makes more money than him? I can't imagine a single person I know thinking something along the lines of "yeah, she's great, but she makes more money than me, it won't wor…

My wife has at times earned more than me but that's never felt threatening. After all, I benefit from her increased income. In fact I would love it if she'd earn enough for me to be a stay home dad without us needing to cut expenses too much.

That's more of an anecdote than any real data.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#142

Post by ionised »

lmcnish14 wrote: post #7

Why is the onus of lowering their standards being pushed on educated women? One of the issues the author states is that men increasingly go for younger women instead of ones their own age. Why do we value youth and beauty instead of education and accomplishments?

> why do we value youth and beauty instead of education and accomplishments?

Simple answer is, it's instinctual.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#143

Post by eighthnate »

Arete3141 wrote: post #108
eighthnate wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Considering that we want to eliminate any gaps between the genders, why are educated women limited to educated men of their own ages? Biologically and evolutionarily speaking, men want younger and more fertile women to mate with. Women want established males ( their age or older ) to mate with. > Why not increase the pool like men do: go for more younger, possibly less educated men (as the article implies for men)?…

1. Many women want the option to stay home and raise their own children, at least for a few years. If a woman marries an otherwise-wonderful man who earns half her salary, she will not be able to easily stay home with her own child while maintaining their former standard of living. So there are some logistical concerns here that just aren't there for men. Perhaps in a country with a lot of paid maternity leave, these…

> Perhaps in a country with a lot of paid maternity leave, these issues would not be as pronounced.

No. It's just as pronounced in european countries with paid maternity leave. But then again, why should companies pay women not to work?

> 2. I have trouble with the blanket statement that women "want established males" "biologically and evolutionarily speaking."

It's a generalized statement. You can have trouble with it all you want. It doesn't change biological and evolutionary reality.

> We live in a society.

Today I learned.

> Peoples' behavior in a society is not some mystery that can only be deciphered by looking at chimpanzees.

Did I look at chimpanzees? I was talking about HUMAN biology and HUMAN evolution.

> Our society has some very messed up rules about who gets to have the most power.

Really? What are these magical rules?

> If that reality were to change -- like, if we had free childcare or 4 years paid maternity leave, or some other radical shift --

What does paid maternity leave have to do with anything? We are talking human biology and human nature.

> many of these calculations would "magically" fall away.

Except for a women's innate desire for ESTABLISHED males and men's desire for YOUNGER women.

You seem to think that liberal agenda somehow negates science. It doesn't. The country with the best maternity leave policy is finland.

http://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php/...

Even there, men are older than women when they get married.

I hate that even speaking of basic biological and evolutionary science gets attacked by the liberals.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#144

Post by raincom »

SamReidHughes wrote: post #133
mannykannot wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Biological explanations for social phenomena are generally frowned upon these days, and they certainly have a poor track record, historically.

Um, no? Biological explanations work great. Want to explain the social phenomenon of people going home every night? It's biology: they have to sleep. Want to explain why people smoke? They're addicted. Want to explain why grown up adoptees behave more like their biological parents than their adoptive parents? Genetics.

The parent is hinting at sociobiology. Similarly in biology, we have -nomics: trying to explain every biological phenomenon with genes. See Sydney Brenner's criticism on the latter as well.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#145

Post by Chris2048 »

pdfernhout wrote: post #87
jimmywanger wrote: post #19

I'm not trying to incite a flamewar here, and this will probably be downvoted to death. Well, the argument here should be: Men don't find education and accomplishment as attractive as women do - they find youth and beauty important also. Therefore, in order to attract a mate, logically women should try to attract a mate when they're younger, and try to improve the way they look. They should not be trying to get more…

Philip Greenspun makes a related point: http://philip.greenspun.com/careers/women-in-science "What about personal experience? The women that I know who have the IQ, education, and drive to make it as professors at top schools are, by and large, working as professionals and making 2.5-5X what a university professor makes and they do not subject themselves to the risk of being fired. With their extra income, they inves…

> Knowing what I know now, I could have made a lot more money going to a bar and working for one night than I have made by going to college, law school, and working for 20 years

Can you explain this to me? You can earn 20 years a lawyers salary by finding a high-earning man in a bar? Sure, I can do the same with lottery tickets..

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#147

Post by Balgair »

vowelless wrote: post #3

> They end up being forced to compete for the limited pool of educated men not just with their more numerous educated rivals, but also with less educated women whom men find desirable on other dimensions. Considering that we want to eliminate any gaps between the genders, why are educated women limited to educated men of their own ages? Why not increase the pool like men do: go for more younger, possibly less educate…

In addition to 'A+' women not wanting to marry/date 'C-' men, those same men seem to be adverse to dating those women. The asymmetry in income and societal 'respect' is often too much for the ego. Her family may see him as 'below' her, her friends think she can do 'better', etc. The man then decides to not pursue the woman to begin with. Think Aladdin, but without Robin Williams. This leaves the women in an even smaller dating pool. But I think this is unlikely.

In general, women want a 'real man', which is often not the opposite of a woman, but the opposite of a 'boy'. What 'real man' is does vary widely from culture, place, and decade. However, a 'real' man does have some similar base ideals across time and space. They are the 3 P's: Protector, Provider, Procreater. A 'real' man must have all 3, or be lacking in 1 but make up for it in the other 2. Missing 2 of the P's is almost certainly a DQ. For a very long and in-depth discussion, start here: https://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/03/31/the-3-ps-of-manhoo...

These 'A+' women have a high standard for Protector and Provider, as well they should for the amount of effort they put in. How men can fix this is to excel in either the Protector or the Provider category. As the Provider one seems to be much harder, then the women should look for a mate that excels in the Protector category. In essence, go find lumberjacks/cops/firefighters/soldiers/etc.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#148

Post by greglindahl »

jabretti wrote: post #15
Santosh83 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's precisely behind the purported problem outlined in the article. Women don't, on average, prefer younger or less educated/earning men as the other way around. As always with social problems, no easy solution is in sight.

Women tend to desire men who are older, richer and more educated. Men tend to desire women who are young, hot, and of good character. Men can't always get what they want, either, but nobody writes articles about how that's a crisis.

I see "men can't always get what they want either" mentioned in articles all the time.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#149

Post by heedlessly2 »

xor1 wrote: post #60
damagednoob wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> They were able to grow together throughout early adulthood. That's a double-edged sword. Sometimes people grow apart.

True, but better to have loved and lost, right?

eh, depends how much alimony and child support you pay after the divorce.

Re: The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women

#150

Post by throwaway9ac420 »

Chris2048 wrote: post #146
lostgame wrote: post #117

Who says women have to date men?

In biology, mating (or mateing in British English) is the pairing of either opposite-sex or hermaphroditic organisms, usually for the purposes of sexual reproduction -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mating

No, it's the same in British English, or as we call it, English.
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