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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
141–150 of 527 posts
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#142Drink some St. John's Wort.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#143Quit immediately.
No transition.
Sleep.
When you're rested, decide what you want to do with the rest of your life
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#144How big is the company?
You're right to identify this as a hard problem. I've been in your exact shoes before. 100+ person company, the weight is heavy.
The good news is that it's totally possible to get out without wrecking the company's outlook. But it does take a minor amount of time investment. Perhaps it's possible to view it as a new challenge: how to quickly hire or find someone within your org who is capable of taking over your day-to-day responsibilities? Who do people ask for decisions / advice when you're out sick?
Frame it as a promotion for them. Give them a (small) comp bump and a new set of responsibilities that include most (or all) of your existing responsibilities.
Coach them for a quarter, give them enough rope to hang themselves with, give them radically candid feedback, and then you can step away. (Or even go do something else interesting at the company!)
I can go into a lot more detail if you'd like -- please email me. The username in my profile (not my HN handle) at gmail.
Good luck, positive vibes!
P.S. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqmdLcyES_Q as a jumpstart to getting your org ready for life without you
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#145> Each morning for the past couple months, my first thought has been "What could today be like if I didn't work here?". I drift off into exploring what it would be like to work at Wal Mart, or the construction site outside, or as a bagger at a grocery store. It seems so stress free. Here's the thing- it probably isn't stress free, just different kinds of stress. And you also need to ask yourself whether the feelings…
Can confirm - right now I personally work as a "Party Associate" at Party City - not very stress free. Customers can be very specific with what they want. Running a startup sounds like a dream - I'd much rather have your job, even if I still had to keep my $9.75/hour. (Anyone looking for a college sophomore eagle scout in the MN area for the summer?) (gallerdude@gmail.com)
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#146Do not talk to your wife. Talk to your best friend, talk to your parents, talk to a therapist, don't talk to your wife. Your wife loves you so if you say you are depressed, she will be understanding and let you lay in bed all day if you want. She will make meals for you, she will do the chores around the house because she wants to help you and you feel too tired to do those things. But depression will only get worse…
Wow. I am really sorry for you. You and I live in very different worlds, and have very different relationships with our wives.
Just... Yeah, I'm really sorry to hear that.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#147Hi I agree with a lot of the positive comments here. Take the money ASAP and go on a nice vacation. Do what you afterward. If I were ever a founder and sold off a company with a big check, I would go back to shool, get my master degree, and become an adjunct teaching. I enjoy that more than coding all day. So bite it, talk to your wife, see a therapist (I am depressed myself) and begin to offload your work to someone else. Remember many founders would leave after aqusitions probably felt the same as you ("they come in and want to take over a product I built")
It sounded like you are attached to your work and if so I understand because you were a co-founder. I am also very attached to my work but I am beginning to build up resistance. I just keep reminding myself if at some point I stop finding my job fun and enjoyful, then I need to find an exit, just like I would go home if I haven't slept for teo days.
Find and do the thing(s) you enjoy doing now. You wil be happier.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#148Why wouldn't you wait until acquisition closes and then decide to quit or not.
Quitting before the acquisition is ... harmful?
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#149Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're describing an enabler. We're talking about his wife.
Most co-dependency relationships are those in your immediate family. source: had a father who was an alcoholic and had to learn this myself.
As gently as possible, I want to let you know that not all relationships are like the one you so unfortunately experienced with your father.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#150Take a vacation, preferably to a beach. Use it to learn what processes at your company are dependent on you. Then when you get back, start documenting and delegating every process until you are no longer a critical dependency. Then take another, longer vacation. Sounds like you need one.
The problem here is the founder thinks he / she is so indispensable that it would fail if he quit. So taking a week off for vacation is likely to just lead to more stress.
However, the longer vacation is good advice. When I was severely burned out at a previous job (start-up) I was eventually fired because I couldn't continue the 70 hours a week and have the same, high output as I originally did when I started (I was averaging 70 hours a week for almost two years in addition to a long commute time and this is after working with the same people at a job before that where I was working about the same 70 hours for almost 3 years where I was also expected to have high output).
When that happened I ended up having roughly 3 months off of work. Joined a new company and it was amazing. My burn-out, which plagued me for years and caused an anxiety attack so strong I thought I was going to die of a heart attack (very severe chest pain; tried explaining to my 2 year old what to do if "daddy passes out") to feel essentially dissolved.
Burn out isn't fixed within your typical vacation period at a job. Most of my friends who have been, or are still, burned out have never had it go away until after taking months of time off.