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Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

nytimes.com

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Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#141

Post by LVB »

nradov wrote: post #113

I don't get it, where is the misery? Are people really so fragile that they get upset seeing some old classmate in a luxury car? I put off creating a Facebook account for a long time but eventually gave in. And I was pleasantly surprised to find how well it works for sharing photo albums with my friends and family.

While maybe not misery, I was certainly drawn into a stressful state of mind. I didn't get upset about about a luxury car or anything material, but demonstrations of copious free time did eat at me.

My schedule was completely full with kids, lots of work, and little down time for hobbies or relaxation. But I got into the groove and was reasonably content. Enter Facebook's feed with endless updates from friends on vacations, attending conferences, exotic work travel etc., and suddenly I start viewing my own lot in a shitty light. My rational assessment was that things were fine, but I just didn't feel very good about it. I quit FB cold turkey and within probably a month these feelings evaporated.

I don't think fragile is a good description. I think it's simply reacting. If the shared family photos you mentioned started having a lot of stuff that you didn't like, you'd probably choose to avoid it.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#142

Post by dang »

scrps wrote: post #74
scrps wrote: post #42

If a Facebook post of a photo of a friend sitting in their new BMW, sipping 30 year old single malt next to a 19 year old bikini model whist reading Grant's Interest Rate Observer on a beach in Nice captioned with a Kurt Vonnegut quote is making you miserable then I suspect there are larger psychological issues at play then social media usage that might be remedied with a walk in a park, physical interaction with ano…

Oh, I've triggered some segment. takes a bow

Please don't post unsubstantive comments here.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#143

Post by martalist »

carte_blanche wrote: post #119

Like the majority of the people here, I use Facebook sparingly, but I constantly need to go back there because of numerous groups that I follow. Is there any way to sideline the infamous "news feed" and instead curate a manual feed containing only group posts?

Along with the groups app, you can get a browser extension to block the news feed, and liberally disable notifications that you don't care about (including email/sms).

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#144

Post by martalist »

jpttsn wrote: post #25
trevyn wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is your Facebook experience now? Just Messenger?

I did the same thing. Still have Messenger, but without push notifications. It works beautifully. The immediate FOMO fades quickly. Nothing of value is lost. Real friends and important info finds a way to get through.

> Nothing of value is lost. Real friends and important info finds a way to get through.

I've also found this to be true.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#145

Post by [deleted] »

teddyh wrote: post #94

I have never used Facebook, so I can’t chime in in these threads to say “I quit Facebook because…”, since I’ve never used it. The reason? Even if we disregard the admittedly huge walled-garden and privacy issues, it just seems to be an extremely time-expensive and constantly distracting hobby, with not much to really recommend it.

[deleted]

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#147

Post by trevyn »

nihonde wrote: post #49
feocco wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This comment thread hits the nail on the head for why I deactivated my social media. But I haven't found a good alternative "productive" time waster for when my mind needs a short break.

I like to waste time on YouTube and Wikipedia. They're good idle browsing for autodidacts.

What's your process for finding good autodidactical content on YouTube? (I am building something very related to this space; I'm super curious about people's "workflows" for this.)

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#148

Post by FridgeSeal »

taneq wrote: post #137
5thaccount wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But I haven't found a good alternative "productive" time waster for when my mind needs a short break. Hacker News? I mean, you posted this right here!

I spend more time on HN than on FB by a fair margin now. I probably need to start reigning it in... :P

Luckily, HN has a handy no-proscrastination feature! :)

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#149

Post by neves »

tsm wrote: post #5

Facebook doesn't make me miserable because I feel like I'm having less fun and being less glamorous than the friends on my news feed—it makes me miserable because it's an addicting timewaster with minimal utility and I'd much rather be [reading a book, playing music, writing software, hanging out with friends IRL, working on a project, sleeping, watching TV…]

Would you say like... Hacker News?

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#150

Post by Chathamization »

aleyan wrote: post #32

Perhaps we should take NYTimes advice a step further and stop letting them make us miserable either. There is nothing actionable in the news; next to no utility. News is simply a time sink that depress your spirit. Whenever I think of reading "legitimate" news like the NYTimes, I am reminded of this quote from a Soviet novel by Bulgakov. In it a doctor gives advice: If you care about your digestion, my advice is [sic…

I've sometimes suggested to people that if they want to stay informed, just read the news from 6 months ago. It's easier to see what's important and what's just noise when you have a bit of breathing room.
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