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When Are You Really an Adult?

theatlantic.com

141–150 of 206 posts

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#141
post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you serious? Disregarding the fact that it was never stated what sex the poster was... They said "I'll never feel like an adult". Emphasis on I'LL and FEEL. Not NOBODY, or EVERYONE, nor IS or BE. I'LL FEEL. Completely personal question, to a completely subjective answer -- yet you came here and contort their response in some misguided attempt to be upset with someone on the Internet so you can feel something. Com…

I was actually laughing out loud because I thought the image of him not feeling like an adult because of his patchy beard was very comical. You (and other posters) are the ones being all touchy. I've got 14 downvotes for pointing out the paraplegic/housewife angle. HN is not too friendly toward basic philosophical inquiries!

I think you were downvoted for using a straw man fallacy. I wasn't saying adulthood was defined in terms of beards. Just that I don't feel like an adult because of my lack of beard. Man, I'd even settle for a great mustache. But nope, nothing.

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#142

I hold that there is one very specific moment that signifies the transition from childhood into adulthood that is universal for all people – the moment you first realize that when it comes down to it, you are the only person who is responsible for you . That eventually, the charity of others will run out and all that will be left is your own reflection staring back at you, at which point you will need to decide wheth…

For me it was when I had to put the presents in my first child's stocking. Not only was I responsible for him, I had also to supply the magic and there was nobody doing this for me.

That's when the buck really stops, forget the bills and all the rest.

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#143

I've frequently thought this over the past few years, and I feel like the conclusion I have is different than others in this thread. I don't becoming an adult is really about you, exactly. It's not about your independence, or your actions. It's about when other people become dependent on you. I think this is the way that it has long been thought of in cultures outside of the post-Enlightenment West. This was my stron…

Duh, sorry, but the culture and history of Russia (and neighboring slavic countries) is an example of how to run away from all sorts of responsibilities. Probably it sounds good in our classic books but in reality the only "other people become dependent on you" case is nepotism like in Middle Eastern or Central Asian cultures. But at least people from these cultures care about their elders and far relatives. Russians…

What a silly comment.

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Duh, sorry, but the culture and history of Russia (and neighboring slavic countries) is an example of how to run away from all sorts of responsibilities. Probably it sounds good in our classic books but in reality the only "other people become dependent on you" case is nepotism like in Middle Eastern or Central Asian cultures. But at least people from these cultures care about their elders and far relatives. Russians…

What a silly comment.

What a thought through objection!

Here's a perfect example of the "responsible" Russian culture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=438sGy9IE58

This video is not fake - I've experienced this kind of alienation (and even hostility) for over 20 years.

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#146

I hold that there is one very specific moment that signifies the transition from childhood into adulthood that is universal for all people – the moment you first realize that when it comes down to it, you are the only person who is responsible for you . That eventually, the charity of others will run out and all that will be left is your own reflection staring back at you, at which point you will need to decide wheth…

By your definition my grandmother stayed a child until she died at 84. I guess that's accurate enough but... meh... almost nobody who is in their 80s who had 10 kids wouldn't be considered an adult.

She did absolutely nothing for herself at all. Ever. For her entire life.

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a silly comment.

What a thought through objection! Here's a perfect example of the "responsible" Russian culture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=438sGy9IE58 This video is not fake - I've experienced this kind of alienation (and even hostility) for over 20 years.

russnewcomer never implied that Russia had a responsible culture. I think you misunderstood his post. For some reason you decided to use his comment as a soapbox to broadcast your own views. Your comment is a non-sequitur (look it up).

And by the way, fwiw as somebody with multiple citizenships, including American and Russian, I prefer the Russian attitude. People can have different opinions. ;)

Re: When Are You Really an Adult?

#150

Lots of parents here claiming they are more adult than non-parents...

Right. As if somehow having children makes you more mature. I know plenty of parents who are just as immature as before they had kids.

Seriously. Case in point, my dad.

There's nothing special about having kids in and of itself. You don't have to have any skill to do it, in fact you have to do something to avoid it. Plenty of people don't even raise their children and from the ones that do there is plenty who, while perhaps have their children living in their house, don't really raise them or care for them much other than giving them food and shelter. Then there is those who take pleasure in abusing their children.

Like everything in life it is what you choose to do with it that actually matters.

Worshipping someone for just simply for having a child is stupid.

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