After recently having to work with modern PHP, I have to say a lot of the criticism of the language is unfounded. It's changed a lot since I first used it. But the stdlib is still hard to manage. Different naming conventions, different order on the parameters for functions that do almost the same thing, and every function is global. Couldn't they keep all that for backwards compatibility, but create more sane wrapper…
The last goddamned thing I want in what is fundamentally a string-spitting language is to have the string features wrapped. Do what you will with the rest of the modules, but leave the damned strings alone.
Not a big deal.